You can see what's in other cities by using missionaries, spies, and having the same religion as the target civ. Also the main map interface shows what buildings are in the city, right there on the map with the little graphics -- just zoom in and learn to spot the buildings. You can of course easily see wonders like the Pyramids, etc.
no way to see what the effects of a civics change will be? not sure I understand your comment -- of course right there on the civics screen you can see the effects of all civics! representation will add +3 science for all specialists, for example
for seeing the defending odds, isn't this the same thing as using Alt-left click for attacking odds? I thought the whole combat system in Civ IV was revamped so now every unit has the basic 1 number strength. Maybe I'm not sure what you're asking...