How to manage playing vs friends?

[Louis8k8]

For my personal experience in Civ5, I can easily 1v1 (no-city state) against King and have a likely (but difficult and long-ass game) against Emperor in G+K.

But I play a lot of games with several friends (Usually Continents or Pangea). The play style is a lot different because there's no mechanical diplomacy off some fixed chart when it's real people. And I don't want to just bum rush swordsmen and catapults to kill my friend and then he'd be left out entire game.

How should I start off so I can always be ahead without becoming an overpowered threat that forces all my friends to gank on me. My last game had a 4v1 because people thought I was too threatening when I wasn't at all.

I prefer Napoleon but any civ works.

I usually play 1 city hard culturing. Tradition -> Free Buildings -> Wonder 15% bonus -> Rush for GL -> I have no idea what to use research on or what comes after this.

I make my first expansion after Iron at a location with iron. I stick on 2 base, build a catapult. Declare war on a nearby City State with decent resources and/or strategic location. Start farming exp for my catapult until +3 Rough/Open skill, and then +1 range. It's usually a cannon by the time it gets 4 levels.

My third city is usually a forward city I build next to a player's border. The timing of it is always after I have a great general. Then I do a citadel + 4 range artillery push on a player's capital and then sit on 4 bases until the late game.

There's not much thought put into how I play, I just get random things on the spot.

I usually horde GL, Col, as many culture wonderas I can, Porcelain, Kremlin and Ironworks, NT, Big Ben. I always target the person who builds great wall and take their city.

I kind of want a really powerful economy focused build where I am not aggressive but can churn out many units if I do get attacked. One of the guys and one of the girls I play with always declare war on me the moment they see me and rush me.

Any veterans know a more fined and specific order of things to do? I don't understand fast expanding. My happiness drops to like 3 when I'm on one base. I can't see how I can maintain happiness with a very early second base.

 

[Yamian]

Since it's against human players, you should employ psychological warfare as well.
1) Don't boast. In fact, do the opposite. Tell them how you couldn't beat the game on <insert lower difficulty level here> and so on. They will think you are weaker than you are and therefore not a threat.

2) Luck is your friend. Everything good that happened to you in the game was because of luck, not skill. You got lucky to win that fight, you got lucky to find a good city location and so on.

3) Misvalue score/demographics for them. Tell them it's just a temporary bonus, tell them it's not that important, focus their attention on things they are good at. They will get the feeling they are better than you (= you are not a threat).

4) You say you build city close to other player's borders. Don't. The AI sees you like a threat because of that and so will human.

5) Diplomacy. Try to sell them luxury (or tech or whatever) for not attacking you. They will get the feeling the got somehthing and you can play on. Or try to bribe them into attacking each other. If they backstab you, don't bother in the future (ever).

6) Can you hold on their attack while pursuing your gameplan? If you are able to easily defend against 4 of them, just go for it. If you manage to fend off the attack while maintaining everything else, you are fine.

7) If you are fed up with being allied against, just speak up. You are not bound by the game's interface, you can make IRL agreements as well. You can play 2 skilled vs 3 weaker players. You can houserule "no attacks before 0 AD", or just "don't attack someone who is already in war with someone else" (meaning every war will be 1v1).

8) Just destroy them. If all other options failed, go for throat, take no prisoners. Rush them in the next game. If they complain, just tell them it was because they allied against you and you didn't want that to happen again. In a new game, do the same thing. Reason? Just to be sure they won't ally against you. Now they will be willing to talk.

 

[EwIck]

9) shoot an arrow in their knee.

I agree with Yamian particularly on point 7. You and your friends need to play to have fun above all else.