More broadly, portraying China as a military superpower makes no sense. Every time China tried to become an expansionist power, it almost always backfired and led to decline. Romance of the Three Kingdoms is a work of literature and should no more be the foundation of a civilization than the Iliad and Odyssey or the Epic of Gilgamesh (*glares at Gilgamesh*). Further, portraying China as isolationist is really only appropriate for the Qing period...when China was once again ruled by a foreign dynasty, the foreign dynasty generally regarded as the most distasteful by the Chinese as the Manchus forced discriminatory customs like footbinding and the queue on the Han.
You could certainly make a case for army-focused China with Wudi (literally just "Emperor The Conqueror", and he certainly deserved the name) and basically anything up to Song. When Song hits, the Chinese after centuries of trying, finally find a way to reign the military in. A strong military is a staple of early Imperial China. Keeping a strong military loyal proved essentially impossible. It was warlords tearing apart their domains and trying to conquer everyone else, not emperor's nephews. That or Qing's own expansionist forays that ballooned them up into (mostly) modern proportions.
As far as Qing is concerned, I wouldn't suck up to chauvinist nationalists. There's lots of potential there as well. Manchus were the ones trying to ban footbinding, not enforcing it. Queues were also not some sort of Star of David mark. Manchu wore queues themselves and so did all of their "civilised" subjects. Be they Vietnamese, Chinese, Japanese,... it's not like they checked ID cards and did DNA tests. Ban on trade and interaction with the outside world outside dedicated ports and missions was a Ming policy that simply stayed in effect during Qing.
Though I mostly agree that making the Chinese civ into a military powerhouse is on the lower end of options. They didn't create an entity spanning the size of Europe by shaking hands and sharing rice wine with strangers. But the Civ focus and designation is (for now, anyway) completely fixed. And if people wanted to play a Prussian-style warrior state, that's what Germany is there for.
If Mao Zedong shouldn't be a candidate Chinese leader. then do you think Deng Xiaoping a better choice?
What he did is the creation of Shenzhen industrial complex (where it located just on the opposite side of Hongkong, by then Deng's strategy is to use British controlled Hongkong as a 'gate'. ) well actually should Shenzhen be World Wonder?
Deng "What are they, protesters?" Xiaoping.
If you want a modern leader, Sun Yat-Sen is about as far as it goes, imo. I'd even say he would be a decent persona for it if you ignore his more Gandhi-ish disposition.