As far as I know, 'bloodlust' isn't an option in CIV 3. You can disable non-military victories, but the term itself is limited to CIV 2. Are you sure you're playing CIV 3? If so, my best suggestion is to hang around here for a while, read the newbie thread in general discussions, read the various threads posted, maybe check out some of the articles in the war academy (linked from the main civfanatics site), maybe read some succession games in the Stories and Tales/Succession games forum, or some of the discussion in the GOTM or Tournament forums.
Alternatively, you can either post a save game here --- almost always a player or two will be willing to load it up and help you out --- or see if you can find some more specific questions to ask. Your question is too general to address well.
Renata