First of all, I need to mention that if you're looking for facial ointment, THIS IS NOT IT.
I found that out the hard way.
Second of all, this stuff is totally inferior, but not totally useless. Upon finding out that it wasn't acne lotion (and made a HORRIBLE cake icing,) I did some research. My discoveries were interesting, so I decided to try some "Family Fun" projects with Uranium Ore.
A bit of advice: You know how there's the urban legend about the death ray using Uranium? Well, guess what--it's crap. I tried it on my sister, and she ran away screaming in agony. NOT DEAD. (By the way, my sister also ran away screaming in agony when I pointed a toilet-paper tube at her and made that funny laser noise from Star Wars.)
However, Uranium does have its uses. First of all, it's the heaviest natural element in existence (Gravity gun? Has potential), which means that it has a whopping 92 protons. Second of all, it's only 2 protons away from Plutonium.
Ah, plutonium.
Plutonium is not available on Amazon, which means the closest you can get is Uranium. Now, Plutonium:
Makes an excellent death ray
DOES clear up zits (by melting your face)
Tastes EXCELLENT on cake
AND is highly radioactive, which means if you hang around it long enough, you get superpowers (but, usually, you get cancer instead).
And, an added bonus is that, when adding those extra particles to fuse the Uranium into Plutonium, the fusion causes an explosion force the size of an atomic bomb, which, if harnessed properly, provides excellent energy. You can power your house for a years with the energy, and not have to use ANY fossil fuels. It is a wonderful method of (literally) green energy.
Unfortunately, I recently learned that, to initiate fusion, you need a mass the size of the sun.
Um.
But, I'm working on invention for that. I'm going to use the uranium ore to make a gravity gun, and then I'll use the gravity gun on the uranium ore...
...which is in the gravity gun.
Um.
So, Uranium ore can be very useful, and I would recommend it, but by more than one. After all, shipping is expensive, especially when the UPS driver keeps abandoning his truck to jump around in spandex and stop every petty theif he sees.
Bottom line: Useful, but not necessary. It has potential, but it's not that great on it's own.
Well my frown was turned upside down when I found out Amazon could ship me some Ore. Now I can continue my quest to become the true 'Radioactive Man'
I could spend hours going through those if I was really bored and had nothing better to do.
