Kev
Hired Goon
1816
Next on the History Channel:
See part two of the critically acclaimed series: FANATICA AT WAR with your host, the deep-voiced narrator guy.
[Cue ominous music and a map of the world circa 1816]
The fronts that Fanatica fought were many. But for the green-waving flags of the hapless and, for the most part, useless Zulus, United Fanatica was fighting a new brand of World War: They against the World.
The Romans were relentless and refused to give any ground on the Island of Viroconium. The English held sway in the Province of Europa and their ships guarded their waters jealously. The Germans were an ominous presence to the newly converted people of Heidelberg. And the Mongols, well, they were the targets.
[Cue narrator in front of the city of Karakorum]
The epicenter it was called. This fair city that seems so peaceful now was the bullseye that would win Fanatica the cricket game that was the world war. Here, the Mongol palace once flew the purple flag of its country proudly, but often upside down. They were not a bright bunch, but they felt safe behind the city walls of their city. The Fanatics had established two fronts on their mainland, and were approaching from two directions, but still the Mongols did not see their doom.
So join us tonight as we explore the events that led to the taking of this city in part two of our series: FANATICA AT WAR: Part II The Mongol Palace.
[Cue starting titles and music. Cut to commercials promoting upcoming History Channel event: The Life and Women of the duke o york. Actually, only a miniseries]
[Back to 1816 map]
1816:
With the Grand Summit of 1816, the Inner Circle set in motion a great deal of newer orders. Many production lines were changed in cities across the nation, and the advent of luxuries was set at 10% with 40% taxes and 50% science. A great deal was scheduled for the bright minds at Newton University, and they would not disappoint.
The coffers of Fanatica had recovered from the rushing of the Hoover Dam and the bribing of Heidelberg (slap), and there was enough coming in that president Kev was able to institute some additional rush buying.
Internationally, the German government was overthrown, giving a small respite to the people of Heidelberg (slap). The Mongols backed off from the newly taken city of Aleppo as well, but still many forces remained. While there was some peace in the world now, it would not last long.
1818:
[Cue to aerial shot of Newton University]
Automobile. Combustion led in this year to the discovery of internal combustion and the advent of automobiles was attained in United Fanatica. Fanatica was now viewed with even more jealousy as other nations were forced to travel with camels and horses while the Fanatics hogged the roads with their FMWs (Fanatica Motor Wheels) and spooked their mounts. This technology, however, also led to the possibility of building the most fearsome creature of the seas the battleship. To be sure that many could be built, the scientists began to study mass production.
Much was built in this year across Fanatica.
Engineers, trained at Spice Haven, began some improvements while the city began a harbor.
Unknown City finished its factory and began to train engineers
Spycatcher built a bank and made some people happy. It then started an Offshore Platform
Kashgar built a new temple and began to train engineers
Bejing trained a spy and started training engineers
Fort Pornstar built a sewer and began the first battleship
Olympia gathered a beads caravan and also began a battleship
Fanatica had issues on the Dover continent in this year with the English. A cannon battalion was approaching fast, and the cavalry in Brighton was forced to engage. A successful mission, but the English got what they wanted as the Mongols and Romans were forced to declare war on the Fanatics.
[Cue to Livia and Genghis meeting with Henry and signing a contract. Genghis signs with an X]
The first cruiser-class ship was built in 1818 in Joespaniel (which then began a bank). The UFS Spice was launched and began to head for Mongol waters. On the Mongol mainland, the cavalry of Fanatica now numbered 8. They sallied forth from Aleppo to clear the land around the city from the Mongol presence and stench. Among the dead were 2 fanatics, 2 partisans, a settler, and engineer and a cannon. Much of the force went back to the city, but the healthy ones began to fortify the nearby fortress with greater numbers. A check on the city of Samarkand showed the spies that there were three defenders in the city with no city walls.
Beautiful Potopolia gems were delivered to Xinjian around this time, netting the Fanatics 120 gold.
A transport arrived in Canton and would deliver some cavalry and a spy to Heidelberg. General Ren wished to shore up his hold here, and it would soon prove invaluable.
[Cue narrator outside of lovely coastal city]
Recognize this city. Well, here in the province of Triton, the former Chinese cities were hoping they could earn a governor to watch over their cities. They knew that Governor Elibb was watching over nearby Europa Province, and so they built a new city and named it after the governor. Thats right, Elibbia was built in this year in Triton Province. As we all know, it soon became a very important city for commerce with all of the fishing and whaling.
To the north and east of these goings-on, an exploring engineer corps was headed by a Fanatica Citizen known in the history books as Civ-1 Addict for reasons unknown. With a very fruitful place to settle, the engineers cheered their leader on to allow them to build a city. The cry of AD-DICT-A, AD-DICT-A went up, and the city of Addicta was born. A small village was seen in this new citys radius. What would it hold?
In international happenings, the Romans attacked Heidelberg with cavalry and failed. They also ruined roads near Brundisium and Lutetia. The Inner Circle vowed revenge.
1820:
Attack of the cav. A roving band of Fanatica cavalry accidentally bumped into three bands of Mongol cavalry. The Fanatica cavalry, taking the Mongols by surprise, crushed all three, dealing Genghis a serious blow. Healthy cavalry were still entering the fort at this time, waiting for the attack they all knew would come on Samarkand.
The village near Addicta was filled with local warriors that were rifle-proficient. They were persuaded to join the city of Addicta - who decided to start training engineers.
Dastardly deeds. The Romans further incited the Fanatics in this year as they mercilessly killed a whole corps of defenseless engineers.
1822:
[Cue narrator in front of Lutetia]
In 1822, Lutetia built these city walls that still stand today. Fearful of an attack at sea by the Romans, they began the coastal fortress right after. Though it seemed as if Fanatica had control of Viroconium Island, there seemed to be no end to the Roman troops sent to harass and pillage. Perhaps they were not as alone on this island as they thought.
Mass Production became a reality in 1822 as well, and the scientists, with their polyester shirts, taped glasses, and pocket protectors had begun to oil their hair after using it to discover automobile. With mass production, there would now be no shortage of nifty calculators and watches with timers. General Ren, however, needed something soon to break the various enemies, and the scientists set to researching Mobile Warfare.
A look at the German capital by the spy on the transport from Canton showed the IC that there were two rifles and alpine troops defending the capital. Not much, but the city walls could be a problem. In fact, it was beginning to seem that all of the German cities were building city walls.
The UFS Spice crushed a Mongol Destroyer attempting to block it from reaching Mongol waters. The cruiser was given a veteran status for its valor.
At Lutetia, Alpine troops beat a Roman cannon division into submission with their skis. The annoying Roman partisan group went down as well thanks to the cavalry nearby. It was assumed that these were the ones responsible for killing the engineers. In a fit of solidarity, the scientists beat the partisans to death with mechanical pencils and poked them with their compasses.
One of the first meetings between the IC and Frederick of the Germans took place in Olympia. It was called by the Inner Circle and meant to bring a peace as the Fanatica transport in German waters was unescorted.
[Cue reenactment with IC and Frederick]
Kev: Welcome to our Inner Sanctum. Need a beer? Dont cost nothin.
Fred: Bah! Zis bier est like weasel urine compared to our own brau. (Drinks anyway)
Ren: Here, let me help you drink it (he is restrained by Dell)
Fred: Vat is it that you vant wis me, Fanatica?
duke: Ve I mean WE wish to have peace in our day and want our Fanatica children to play all day long with the German children while birds sing and all are happy
Fred: Acht! That silver tongue is zo convinzing. I vill agree.
IC: YAY FREDDIE!
Fred: Now smiling drunkenly. Leaves.
IC: Uncontrolled laughter as duke collects bets from people who were convinced he could never say what he did with a straight face.
Lovely Athenae gems reached Tsingtao at this time and gave the Fanatics 176 gold.
A strange attack came in this year from an unexpected source. A frigate flying a red flag approached the city of Tabriz the first Mongol city taken on the mainland. Dragoons, calling the strange name Atilla, landed time and again and attacked the city without stop. Four dragoon contingents landed, and by the time all was done, BOTH defending rifle units in the city were killed. However, the dragoons could not enter as they were still wounded.
Internationally, tech trading took the stage in 1822.
Zulus got electricity from the Romans
English got Steel from the Romans
Zulus got Metallurgy from the Romans
Zulus got Feudalism from the Mongols
1824:
Pellaken Bay built a market and started engineers
Tabriz built a market and started rifles
Dreadtown built a harbor and started a bank
A Fanatica destroyer crushed the barbarian forces and ship near Tabriz. Extra defenders entered the city to help, but the threat was no more.
Mpondo wine was delivered to Canton and earned 190 gold. The coffers of Fanatica were now filled with 2764 gold, and some rush-buying ensued.
1824 saw the battle of Samarkand. Fanatica had enough healed cavalry to attack, and attack they did. Without losing a single brigade, the Fanatics took the city, 255 gold, and kept the coastal fortress and coliseum intact. Genghis now made his typical visit:
Genghis: Hello Ren, sir
Ren: SIT
Genghis: (sitting). Me know me was bad. Can we have peace again?
Ren: ROLL OVER
Genghis: (Rolling). Me very sorry.
Ren: LAY DOWN
Genghis: (Laying Down). Hows about it?
Ren: OK. GO HOME.
Genghis: (Leaves)
The city of Karakorum was in sight.
The transport from Canton spotted Munich. Four defenders and city walls would be tough.
Internationally, the Zulus and English declared peace. Hmm, Fanatica was left at war with the English. A peace was later set.
The Romans navy began to flex a bit in this year, sailing very close to Fanatica shores.
A MONGOL cannon was spotted near Lutetia. MONGOL? HERE? Nicely enough, a transport from Lutetia had been heading to Olympia to pick up engineers and freight. Perhaps something can be spotted.
1826:
Much was built. The list:
Renmark built a temple and started a marketplace
Spice Haven built a harbor and began engineers (replacing the ones killed)
Kashgar built engineers and started an aqueduct
Athenae built sewers and started a factory
Bakhara built a marketplace and started engineers
Potopolia built sewers and started a factory
THDP built superhighways and started a bank. THDP was doing well.
Heidelberg trained additional alpine troops and begins a temple.
Karakorum had five defenders behind city walls. Even with a cruiser nearby, some help will probably be needed here.
The Mongol city of Khorasan was spotted on Viroconium Island.
Perhaps the help was now available.
In this year, the UFS Marlbrough and the UFS Dell were built in Fort Pornstar and Olympia. Huge battleships, the terror of the seas. They both began their trek toward the Mongol capital. The UFS Spice was docked outside the city and barred any entrance or exit. Just needed some time before taking the city would they get it?
A look at Lugdunum showed that there is only a single rifle in defense and no city walls. The transport was near as well.
Next on the History Channel:
See part two of the critically acclaimed series: FANATICA AT WAR with your host, the deep-voiced narrator guy.
[Cue ominous music and a map of the world circa 1816]
The fronts that Fanatica fought were many. But for the green-waving flags of the hapless and, for the most part, useless Zulus, United Fanatica was fighting a new brand of World War: They against the World.
The Romans were relentless and refused to give any ground on the Island of Viroconium. The English held sway in the Province of Europa and their ships guarded their waters jealously. The Germans were an ominous presence to the newly converted people of Heidelberg. And the Mongols, well, they were the targets.
[Cue narrator in front of the city of Karakorum]
The epicenter it was called. This fair city that seems so peaceful now was the bullseye that would win Fanatica the cricket game that was the world war. Here, the Mongol palace once flew the purple flag of its country proudly, but often upside down. They were not a bright bunch, but they felt safe behind the city walls of their city. The Fanatics had established two fronts on their mainland, and were approaching from two directions, but still the Mongols did not see their doom.
So join us tonight as we explore the events that led to the taking of this city in part two of our series: FANATICA AT WAR: Part II The Mongol Palace.
[Cue starting titles and music. Cut to commercials promoting upcoming History Channel event: The Life and Women of the duke o york. Actually, only a miniseries]
[Back to 1816 map]
1816:
With the Grand Summit of 1816, the Inner Circle set in motion a great deal of newer orders. Many production lines were changed in cities across the nation, and the advent of luxuries was set at 10% with 40% taxes and 50% science. A great deal was scheduled for the bright minds at Newton University, and they would not disappoint.
The coffers of Fanatica had recovered from the rushing of the Hoover Dam and the bribing of Heidelberg (slap), and there was enough coming in that president Kev was able to institute some additional rush buying.
Internationally, the German government was overthrown, giving a small respite to the people of Heidelberg (slap). The Mongols backed off from the newly taken city of Aleppo as well, but still many forces remained. While there was some peace in the world now, it would not last long.
1818:
[Cue to aerial shot of Newton University]
Automobile. Combustion led in this year to the discovery of internal combustion and the advent of automobiles was attained in United Fanatica. Fanatica was now viewed with even more jealousy as other nations were forced to travel with camels and horses while the Fanatics hogged the roads with their FMWs (Fanatica Motor Wheels) and spooked their mounts. This technology, however, also led to the possibility of building the most fearsome creature of the seas the battleship. To be sure that many could be built, the scientists began to study mass production.
Much was built in this year across Fanatica.
Engineers, trained at Spice Haven, began some improvements while the city began a harbor.
Unknown City finished its factory and began to train engineers
Spycatcher built a bank and made some people happy. It then started an Offshore Platform
Kashgar built a new temple and began to train engineers
Bejing trained a spy and started training engineers
Fort Pornstar built a sewer and began the first battleship
Olympia gathered a beads caravan and also began a battleship
Fanatica had issues on the Dover continent in this year with the English. A cannon battalion was approaching fast, and the cavalry in Brighton was forced to engage. A successful mission, but the English got what they wanted as the Mongols and Romans were forced to declare war on the Fanatics.
[Cue to Livia and Genghis meeting with Henry and signing a contract. Genghis signs with an X]
The first cruiser-class ship was built in 1818 in Joespaniel (which then began a bank). The UFS Spice was launched and began to head for Mongol waters. On the Mongol mainland, the cavalry of Fanatica now numbered 8. They sallied forth from Aleppo to clear the land around the city from the Mongol presence and stench. Among the dead were 2 fanatics, 2 partisans, a settler, and engineer and a cannon. Much of the force went back to the city, but the healthy ones began to fortify the nearby fortress with greater numbers. A check on the city of Samarkand showed the spies that there were three defenders in the city with no city walls.
Beautiful Potopolia gems were delivered to Xinjian around this time, netting the Fanatics 120 gold.
A transport arrived in Canton and would deliver some cavalry and a spy to Heidelberg. General Ren wished to shore up his hold here, and it would soon prove invaluable.
[Cue narrator outside of lovely coastal city]
Recognize this city. Well, here in the province of Triton, the former Chinese cities were hoping they could earn a governor to watch over their cities. They knew that Governor Elibb was watching over nearby Europa Province, and so they built a new city and named it after the governor. Thats right, Elibbia was built in this year in Triton Province. As we all know, it soon became a very important city for commerce with all of the fishing and whaling.
To the north and east of these goings-on, an exploring engineer corps was headed by a Fanatica Citizen known in the history books as Civ-1 Addict for reasons unknown. With a very fruitful place to settle, the engineers cheered their leader on to allow them to build a city. The cry of AD-DICT-A, AD-DICT-A went up, and the city of Addicta was born. A small village was seen in this new citys radius. What would it hold?
In international happenings, the Romans attacked Heidelberg with cavalry and failed. They also ruined roads near Brundisium and Lutetia. The Inner Circle vowed revenge.
1820:
Attack of the cav. A roving band of Fanatica cavalry accidentally bumped into three bands of Mongol cavalry. The Fanatica cavalry, taking the Mongols by surprise, crushed all three, dealing Genghis a serious blow. Healthy cavalry were still entering the fort at this time, waiting for the attack they all knew would come on Samarkand.
The village near Addicta was filled with local warriors that were rifle-proficient. They were persuaded to join the city of Addicta - who decided to start training engineers.
Dastardly deeds. The Romans further incited the Fanatics in this year as they mercilessly killed a whole corps of defenseless engineers.
1822:
[Cue narrator in front of Lutetia]
In 1822, Lutetia built these city walls that still stand today. Fearful of an attack at sea by the Romans, they began the coastal fortress right after. Though it seemed as if Fanatica had control of Viroconium Island, there seemed to be no end to the Roman troops sent to harass and pillage. Perhaps they were not as alone on this island as they thought.
Mass Production became a reality in 1822 as well, and the scientists, with their polyester shirts, taped glasses, and pocket protectors had begun to oil their hair after using it to discover automobile. With mass production, there would now be no shortage of nifty calculators and watches with timers. General Ren, however, needed something soon to break the various enemies, and the scientists set to researching Mobile Warfare.
A look at the German capital by the spy on the transport from Canton showed the IC that there were two rifles and alpine troops defending the capital. Not much, but the city walls could be a problem. In fact, it was beginning to seem that all of the German cities were building city walls.
The UFS Spice crushed a Mongol Destroyer attempting to block it from reaching Mongol waters. The cruiser was given a veteran status for its valor.
At Lutetia, Alpine troops beat a Roman cannon division into submission with their skis. The annoying Roman partisan group went down as well thanks to the cavalry nearby. It was assumed that these were the ones responsible for killing the engineers. In a fit of solidarity, the scientists beat the partisans to death with mechanical pencils and poked them with their compasses.
One of the first meetings between the IC and Frederick of the Germans took place in Olympia. It was called by the Inner Circle and meant to bring a peace as the Fanatica transport in German waters was unescorted.
[Cue reenactment with IC and Frederick]
Kev: Welcome to our Inner Sanctum. Need a beer? Dont cost nothin.
Fred: Bah! Zis bier est like weasel urine compared to our own brau. (Drinks anyway)
Ren: Here, let me help you drink it (he is restrained by Dell)
Fred: Vat is it that you vant wis me, Fanatica?
duke: Ve I mean WE wish to have peace in our day and want our Fanatica children to play all day long with the German children while birds sing and all are happy
Fred: Acht! That silver tongue is zo convinzing. I vill agree.
IC: YAY FREDDIE!
Fred: Now smiling drunkenly. Leaves.
IC: Uncontrolled laughter as duke collects bets from people who were convinced he could never say what he did with a straight face.
Lovely Athenae gems reached Tsingtao at this time and gave the Fanatics 176 gold.
A strange attack came in this year from an unexpected source. A frigate flying a red flag approached the city of Tabriz the first Mongol city taken on the mainland. Dragoons, calling the strange name Atilla, landed time and again and attacked the city without stop. Four dragoon contingents landed, and by the time all was done, BOTH defending rifle units in the city were killed. However, the dragoons could not enter as they were still wounded.
Internationally, tech trading took the stage in 1822.
Zulus got electricity from the Romans
English got Steel from the Romans
Zulus got Metallurgy from the Romans
Zulus got Feudalism from the Mongols
1824:
Pellaken Bay built a market and started engineers
Tabriz built a market and started rifles
Dreadtown built a harbor and started a bank
A Fanatica destroyer crushed the barbarian forces and ship near Tabriz. Extra defenders entered the city to help, but the threat was no more.
Mpondo wine was delivered to Canton and earned 190 gold. The coffers of Fanatica were now filled with 2764 gold, and some rush-buying ensued.
1824 saw the battle of Samarkand. Fanatica had enough healed cavalry to attack, and attack they did. Without losing a single brigade, the Fanatics took the city, 255 gold, and kept the coastal fortress and coliseum intact. Genghis now made his typical visit:
Genghis: Hello Ren, sir
Ren: SIT
Genghis: (sitting). Me know me was bad. Can we have peace again?
Ren: ROLL OVER
Genghis: (Rolling). Me very sorry.
Ren: LAY DOWN
Genghis: (Laying Down). Hows about it?
Ren: OK. GO HOME.
Genghis: (Leaves)
The city of Karakorum was in sight.
The transport from Canton spotted Munich. Four defenders and city walls would be tough.
Internationally, the Zulus and English declared peace. Hmm, Fanatica was left at war with the English. A peace was later set.
The Romans navy began to flex a bit in this year, sailing very close to Fanatica shores.
A MONGOL cannon was spotted near Lutetia. MONGOL? HERE? Nicely enough, a transport from Lutetia had been heading to Olympia to pick up engineers and freight. Perhaps something can be spotted.
1826:
Much was built. The list:
Renmark built a temple and started a marketplace
Spice Haven built a harbor and began engineers (replacing the ones killed)
Kashgar built engineers and started an aqueduct
Athenae built sewers and started a factory
Bakhara built a marketplace and started engineers
Potopolia built sewers and started a factory
THDP built superhighways and started a bank. THDP was doing well.
Heidelberg trained additional alpine troops and begins a temple.
Karakorum had five defenders behind city walls. Even with a cruiser nearby, some help will probably be needed here.
The Mongol city of Khorasan was spotted on Viroconium Island.
Perhaps the help was now available.
In this year, the UFS Marlbrough and the UFS Dell were built in Fort Pornstar and Olympia. Huge battleships, the terror of the seas. They both began their trek toward the Mongol capital. The UFS Spice was docked outside the city and barred any entrance or exit. Just needed some time before taking the city would they get it?
A look at Lugdunum showed that there is only a single rifle in defense and no city walls. The transport was near as well.
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