onejayhawk
Afflicted with reason
Actual lines from HS papers.
These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two
other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature
Canadian beef.
She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like whatever.
He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.
The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're
on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped up off the pavement, just like maggots
when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced
across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, on
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resemble Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
that had also never met.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was
the East River.
Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.
The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with
power tools.
He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put
in any pH cleanser.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to the wall.
These are actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:
Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two
other sides gently compressed by a thigh master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
She grew on him like E. coli and he was room temperature
Canadian beef.
She had a deep throaty genuine laugh like that sound a dog makes just before he throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad, as, like whatever.
He was as tall as a six foot three inch tree.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a
bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a hefty bag
filled with vegetable soup.
The whole scene had an eerie surreal quality, like when you're
on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 pm instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped up off the pavement, just like maggots
when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star crossed lovers raced
across a grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, on
having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences
that resemble Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
that had also never met.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was
the East River.
Even in his last years, grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap,
only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike
Phil, this plan just might work.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,
either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.
The Ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender
leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids with
power tools.
He was deeply in love when she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the TV guide crossword.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put
in any pH cleanser.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple
it to the wall.
RIP
