I don't reload for lack of resources, but I may reload if I have a lot of desert, jungle floodplain or plains with no fresh water in a reasonable distance. Generally I play what I'm given, but sometimes you work too hard. Jungle is a double-edged sword; it's awesome land once you clear it away, but sometimes I'm not in the mood.
I've had a couple of fun games where I made a mad archer rush against either a Numidian Mercenary or Hoplite (both 3-strength defenders) to annex iron or horses. I've also managed to do without, and sometimes iron spontaneously appears in your area.
As far as opening moves, check out
Cracker's Opening Moves site. In summary, find your most productive tiles and prioritize improving two tiles per city assuming you're going to be building settlers as you hit size 3.
More generally my goals are explore and expand. I want to see all the tiles in the nearby areas to choose my next city sites, and since you can't trade maps in C3C until the late middle ages or trade contacts without Printing Press I try to explore the entire continent and meet everyone and map the continent before the AIs fill it up with cities. That knowledge helps plan wars since I'll know what land to, um, acquire first. I try not to double-back over explored areas as that wastes turns.
So early on I build warriors (or scouts, sometimes a Curragh or two if I start with Alphabet) and settlers. I try to fit a granary or two in to make a factory and after 2-4 cities depending on the surroundings build barracks and offensive units. (I find the best defense is a good offense. Spears can defend the city itself, but the barbs or enemies will tear up your improvements and kill a worker or two on their way there. Better to meet them where they're coming from and attack on my schedule.)
As I get barracks built I only build warriors as fillers between settlers if my food production is slower than my shield production. Then I put them on MP or exploration duty until Republic and then disband them.
I'm actually a bit fuzzy on the "best" way to balance settlers, military and workers. I think I'm going to pick a map and play the first 100 turns several times over and get a feel for how to most quickly expand. Then I'll pick another map and do the same.