Provolution War Speech: The Dutch Terror

[Provolution]

Provolution War Speech One

Provolution, Culture Consul aka Minister for Propaganda and Public Education

The Dutch Terror

Fellow Fanatannians, a menace has entered the fair lands of our beloved Realm. The evil Dutch are standing outside our capital, they have settled around us, they outgrow us with a factor of three to one and they allegedly smoke pot and send our women to red light districts, which are not quite the same as green light districts, which is a needy mans privilege in Camelot.
This threat is far bigger than India!!!

Citizen Mad-Bax
The insidiuous Dutch has betrodden our sacred Fanashire, clubbing our women on the border outside Camelot, and dragging them after their hair, even taking their new Chieftess-made lioncloth loincloth apparel as trophies back to the red light district, and putting our degraded women in open caves for display. The worst part, they bring back Fanashirian tobacco to Rotterdam and Hague and smoke it, and you know how bad Provolution thinks about smoking.

Citizen Gregski
I know you are a man of the liquour, look at what the vile and atrocious Dutch did to our future winewards by squatting with their intruding and illegitimate shantytown of Groningen, taking the majority of Fanashires wine into their usurping possession. Darkness has fallen upon the land, and they have taken the fruits of Bacchus away from our cellars, imagine the lost bliss of the Fanatannian youth, who is bereft of these precious juices.

Donsig
I know your savoury delight in Fanashirian beef, look at what the Dutch are doing, they club down our cattle and eat them raw, so that the gourmets of Camelot are not given their rightful delicacies. They have also sworn to take away your new lioncloth loincloth, and expropriate you for the red light district in the rabbit-like settler machine in Rotterdam.

Chieftess
The Dutch has sworn to imprison you and make you wear clogs for 20 years!

Civgeneral
The Dutch tells your millitary force is junk, and that your karate skills are no good, and they tell that your future is bad.

Bertie
The Dutch told us you went to a SM Club in Rotterdam with Schoolmarm Thwackum, is that true? They made a cavepainting exhibition with you and Schoolmarm Thwackum in the most revealing and embarassing situations.

Ravensfire
The Dutch tells us that our constitution suck bad, insult them!!!

I suggest to get writing as soon as possible, and ally with our Indian friends, and attack the Dutch from two fronts, before they kill us all. The Western Ridge border with Donsignia and Roosting Tree will keep that side safe as a stable border for a while. Also, mark off the Dutch iron as well.

 

[Gregski]

Supremo Provolution,

Being the Royal Connoisseur of the Fanatannian Realm no less (and no more as it happens to be the case), I believe that we should crush our northerly neighbours as currently my supplies of Dutch alcoholic drinks is greatly limited because we have to organise armed raiding parties accross the border, which is very inefficient. By declaring their land as ours based on superior firepower, our profits would greatly increase.

 

[mad-bax]

Aahh! The smell of fear permeates your every word my fiendish Fanatannian friend. The Dutch build cities faster than we - 'tis true. They smoke our tobacco and drink our wine. They rape our women and speak a completely incomprehensible language. But mind these words of wisdom Provolution. "Slowly Slowly Catchy Monkey". Every city they found is 30 shields and 2 fair citizens that we spare. They spread like the plague across our fair lands, and yet within this adversity lies an opportunity. The opportunity to expand at a rate equal to the sum of our capability and theirs. Yes we must wait, and waiting is hard on the stomach. But attack too soon, and the cities we conquer will fall into the dust and our gain is as nothing to what we could achieve. Let us be all we can be my fair Fanatannian fellows. Grasp the nettle and any other cliche with which you are familiar and march with me into our childrens history.

 

[blackheart]

To arms! To arms!

 

[GenMarshall]

For one, thing I am enraged (Ive changed my avatar for the ocassion but could not find a furious MAJ. Kusanagi, but thats for a different forum) on how the dutch is insulting me, the Surface Marshal. I beleve we should divert our attentions to the dutch and capture their cities.