Rubbish Yorkshire dialect jokes

[Rodgers]

What do you call a sarcastic cowboy?

Tex Piss

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

Wi' jam in

Sorry if these are a bit exclusive in their reach (and rubbish too)

 

[duke o' york]

'appen 'em's right rubbish m'lad.

 

[Rodgers]

Yeah, but I've been telling the cowboy one for so long now I have a real affection for it

 

[MrPresident]

You dare make fun of the great Yorkshire accent and the great Yorkshire people. And if that was not bad enough you didn't even do a good job. I mean if the jokes were funny then I could let you off but come on there has to be standards. With a crime there has to be punishment (that gives me an idea for a book) and so I degree with the power invested in my by the honour of all Yorkshiremen and women you shall no longer be allowed access to Yorkshire puddings for a period of 2 weeks. Wait a minute that seems a little harsh, how about 1 week? Okay 3 days and thats final. 3 full days of no Yorkshire puddings. Make that 2 full days and one lunchtime. Okay 1 full day and 2 lunchtimes. I'm talking about home-made Yorkshire puddings not those microwavable ones. In fact your punishment is one full day no access and being forced to eat a whole package of those frozen ones. Obviously not a full-size package but a mini one that if possible was on sale. Anyway make sure you don't do it again. I hope I made myself clear.

 

[Rodgers]

Surely a more appropriate punishment for a Yorkshire man would be denial of all bitter/ale or stout wi'a propper 'ed onnit. In place of this only fizzy lager shandy/lager top or cocktails with umbrellas in them should be allowed.

 

[MrPresident]

I didn't want to be too harsh. It was a first offence and all.

 

[Rodgers]

Cheers pal tharra reet gud 'un

 

[col]

A Yorkshireman is in a field surrounded by sheep.

"Are you shearin' ?" calls a passer by.

"No - you have to bring your own ..."

(A Lancastrian living in Yorkshire...missionary work )

 

[MrPresident]

Its a crime wave!

 

[Rodgers]

Shurrup yer bleeder!