Sorry but I have to rant

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Mrogreturns

Mrogreturns

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I'm at work and the guy who sits at the next desk is driving me to the very edge of insanity. He snifs loudly and continuously, hammers his keyboard like a jackhammer and cracks his knuckles about every 30 seconds. I wont nauseate you with a description of his eating habbits.

For a while I coped with this by imagining that the sound of his knuckles cracking was actually the sound of me breaking his skinny neck- but that brings only tempory relief. I'm hoping this rant will blow off enough steam to allow me to get through the day without doing something regrettable.

Thanks for your indulgence.
 
Get him fired. Put some used condoms in his desk, maybe a bottle of booze or two, and you'll never have to hear his grotesque noises again.
 
Tell him to go here, it has a funny picture of a guy diving off of a cliff into the ocean. Tell him he screams like a girl, and the volume on the site is low, so he has to turn his volume up. If he asks what the 'kiss' in the link is for, tell him it is the guy kissing his butt goodbye.

www.7440.com/kiss

EDIT: Not Safe For Work. The Website loads a sound file that says "Hey Everybody! I'm Looking At Gay Porno!" While the text says "*kiss* my ass that is".
 
Perfection said:
How about you quit whining and buy some noise cancelation headphones!
Click to expand...

Well, breaking his neck would be both cheaper and more satifying, but in the end probably more expensive than your suggestion. Its a good idea, but the main problem is that this guy's noises are intermitant rather than continuous so they will still get through- unless their reaction time has greatly improved since I last had a look at some.
 
Godwynn said:
Tell him to go here, it has a funny picture of a guy diving off of a cliff into the ocean. Tell him he screams like a girl, and the volume on the site is low, so he has to turn his volume up. If he asks what the 'kiss' in the link is for, tell him it is the guy kissing his butt goodbye.

www.7440.com/kiss
Click to expand...


warn people not to click that!!!!
 
Godwynn said:
Tell him to go here, it has a funny picture of a guy diving off of a cliff into the ocean. Tell him he screams like a girl, and the volume on the site is low, so he has to turn his volume up. If he asks what the 'kiss' in the link is for, tell him it is the guy kissing his butt goodbye.

www.7440.com/kiss
Click to expand...

That is very very very cruel- but one more day of this and I just might direct him to it. His English isn't great so he probably wouldn't question the link at all. (Oh before anyone accuses me of picking on someone who can't speak English- I am working in Japan).

Anyway- he has gone off to his lab for the time being. Thanks for the suggestions :goodjob:
 
Are these cubicles or some kind of shared office? Anyway, no idea what the link is for.....and now I'm scared to even look at it...

Perhaps you can get up and move? Or...no, I'm out of ideas tonight.
 
Have you tried telling him?

Perhaps you can change desk.
 
Hakim said:
Have you tried telling him?

Perhaps you can change desk.
Click to expand...

The senstivites of the situation are such that telling him, no matter how I might put it, is not an option.

As for moving desks- well I could sit directly opposite him but that wouldn't help much.

There's nothing to be done except to put up with it and hope that #1 his cold gets better soon and #2 he breaks his hand... now there is an idea.

I'll ask the mods to close this thread now- its served its purpose.

Thanks everyone!
 
Maybe breaking his hands is how the sledgehammer comes into play. :mischief:
 
Confront the guy in the staff canteen and bring up his noise issues.

Or perhaps develop an annoying sound that bugs him, and have revenge!
 
Buy him lunch (or maybe not) and something for the cold, saying you heard it works well.

And next day, politely tell him the knuckle cracking bugs you. He might quit out of thanks. What have you lost?
 
Just tell your boss that outside of work (or not, it makes no difference) he's been trying to send you kiddie porn, and you'll never hear from him again.
 
I don't sniff continuously, and I don't scoff like a hog, but the keyboard-hammering and knuckle-cracking is so me. :)
 
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