Welcome to non-lurkerdom on the forums.
I've found that my sweet spot for settings on FfH2 is Epic-timescale, No AI building requirements, No Tech Brokering, Wildlands, Raging Barbarians. I also edit gamespeedinfo.xml to make training and construction times 67% (rather than 150%) for epic-timescale. The AI repulses barbarian hordes and responds to attacks much easier when unit build times are short.
For the most part, I play on Nikis-Knight's huge map, though I switch things around every 1-2 games, depending on what type of challenge I want. My current game as the Kuriotates has 2x Clan of Embers, 4 Civs removed, and raging barbarians.
PS: I should probably add that I never rush in my games. Most of my early war efforts tend to be defensive or elaborate power projection operations designed to influence wars between AIs. In the Kuriotate game I mention above, I have a small stack of centaurs sitting in Malakim territory to help thwart repeated Calabim invasions. My long term goal is to win a religious victory, so I'm zealously aiding other Empyrean nations.