Steam is generally a pain in the backside. However, it might be slowly getting less painful. I definitely can do without it. I certainly hope that there isn't a trend developing for game companies to release their games through Steam (or similar sites).
I share your concerns, which is precisely why I am participating and taking the time to express my views.
If nothing else, Firaxis and 2K should be aware that they lost some of us as loyal customers, and not deluded by outspoken Steam advocates into thinking that everything is hunky-dory.
I would not like to see Steam become more common, unless of course they change their business model (which I honestly don't see them doing). If they were to take some of the annoying and intrusive dimensions of their service out (namely the required online reactivation process) then I would be willing to give them a try again. At that point they wouldn't differ from Gamersgate, etc., and given the other features they offer, then why wouldn't I want to try them out?
But, Steam changing is not going to happen if they do not perceive backlash, or rather if 2K/Firaxis in this case do not perceive backlash.
I for example, am presently boycotting Fallout New Vegas, and Civ 5 for no reason other than that they are Steam compulsory. I would buy FONV in a heart beat if it was not requiring Steam. Civ 5 seems a bit less promising as a game, so I might be a bit delayed there, but since it is one of my favorite game series ever (I used to be an absolutely devoted Civ fanboy, no doubt about it) I would certainly be prone to buy it if not for Steam required.
I never tried Empire Total War; that one sounded problematic, but the Steam requirement was really the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I am also planning to boycott the new TES game, and any other game in the future that requires Steam.
On the other hand, I bought Vicky2 IMMEDIATELY when it was released. It still needed patching and I knew it would. That didn't matter to me; not only did I want to play the game, but I wanted to do what I can to support Paradox and indirectly to encourage publishers who do not resort to Steam or worse yet DRM.
When I see that Steam has reformed and is no more intrusive, annoying or manipulative of consumers than say Gamersgate, I will halt my boycott and happily support Valve and the publishers/developers. Bethesda, Firaxis, Slitherine, Stardock, Matrix, Valve, Paradox, Nitro, etc., they _all_ make good games, and because I am a devoted gamer, I'm happy to do what I can to support all of them for providing us with great games. But NOT if they resort to Steam as it is presently incarnated. This sort of behavior should not be encouraged, and I realize that there are probably many participating in this thread who see it differently.
My goal, and the only reason I'm continuing to post here, is to get this message across and not have it drowned out by the dismissive, belittling of those of us who have this perspective combined with the outspoken advocacy of Steam.
At the end of the day, I'm just one guy; but if they hear one guy, maybe then they will look around and see the signs that I see, that it isn't just one guy, it is a bunch of guys. A large enough bunch of guys = substantial loss of profits.