The Dorkiest Jokes You Know

[Traitorfish]

We all know some jokes that we're embarrassed to admit make us chuckle, because they're simply that little bit to nerdish even for us. "Dweebs", they would call us if they found out! "Losers!" But we're all nerds here, are we not? So why not share a few? We can call it "ironic", or some such, if it makes us feel any better.

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Marx and Lenin, in their capacity as members of the All-Russia Skiffle Congress, are tuning up before a show. As you might expect, their discussion falls to politics, and particularly Lenin's concept of the vanguard party. After several minutes of heated debate, an exasperated Marx exclaims "Don't you know that the liberation of the proletariat can only be achieved by the proletariat themselves?" "No", says Lenin, plucking thoughtfully at his banjo, "But if you hum a few bars, I can try and fake it."

---

Anyone care to try and top that?

 

[Veritass]

Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?"

"I think not," he says, and promptly disappears.

 

[Omni314]

By the power of #CCCCCC skull

thats one i have off the top of my head, I probably know better though

 

[Nuka-sama]

Calcium and Silver are in a bar, enjoying a few drinks, when gold walks in. They both shout AU get out of here

 

[Onionsoilder]

Why calcium and not, say, copper?

 

[W|M]

Copper is nonreactive, it wouldn't do anything, especially with boring silver at it's side!

 

[Traitorfish]

Why calcium and not, say, copper?

Coppers don't drink in civvy bars.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

What's purple and commutes?

An Abelian grape.

 

[Dumanios]

What do you get when you combine Phosphorus, Oxygen and Radon?

P O Rn

 

[W|M]

Wouldn't the actual chemical name be something like Phosphorus Radate?

 

[Omni314]

Wouldn't the actual chemical name be something like Phosphorus Radate?

Radon Phosphate I belive,
not that radon is reactive,
in fact i dont think the other 2 would do much either making the punchline quite accurate
don't hold me to it though

 

[Dumanios]

Wouldn't the actual chemical name be something like Phosphorus Radate?

Look at the Chemical symbols, dear.

 

[W|M]

I know, I've seen it before.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

You are too young to have seen porn.

 

[Traitorfish]

Paradigm Shifter, do me a favour: open Google Image Search, and type in "boobs".

Nobody, in this day and age, is too young to have see porn.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

I have that search term bookmarked.

 

[Mango Elephant]

What's long, brown, and sticky?

Spoiler :

a stick!

 

[Lord Baal]

Rene Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Would you like a beer?"

"I think not," he says, and promptly disappears.

^^^This is one of my favourite jokes.

One boy says to another: "I'm really glad my dad named me John."

2nd boy: "Why?"

1st boy: "Because that's what everyone calls me."

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Alphabetti spaghetti not nerdy enough for you? Simply mix normal tinned spaghetti with spaghetti hoops and make binary spaghetti!

 

[emzie]

Two atoms walk into a bar.
The first atom stops and says to the other, "I think I lost an electron!"
The second atom asks, "Are you sure?"
The first atom replies, "I'm positive!"