The Holy Religion of Pastries

[Nomad Bryce]

As of late many different facets of The Universal Pastry have appeared, and we should respect and love all of our fellow religions, since we are all united under One Pastry, or as some call it, Chip, Zergod, whatever. But we here today recognize that Pastries are the manifest of all forces in the universe. Good can be visualized in cake, while evil and sin can be visualized in brownies. Cookies represent different virtues and sins.

For all those who believe in the mighty powers of Pastries, here we contain the OFFICIAL list of Pastries and their effects and manifested principles.

Napolean Cake: The cake of Justice (Eat when you seek strength and revenge)
Chocolate Lava Cake: The Cake of plenty (Eat when you seek abundance)
Chocolate Chip Cookie: The manifestation of diversity (Eat for wisdom)
Sugar Cookie: The manifestation of purity (Eat for sincerity and purity of heart)
Chocolate Chocolate Chip: The manifestation of intolerance (Those who eat will become nazis)
Oatmeal Cookie: The manifestation of Health (Eat for curing illness)
Brownie: IT tastes so good, but it will lead you to evil!
Apple Turnover: Pastry of family (Eat for harmonious home life)
Cherry pie: Pie of fornication (Eat this pie and find yourself at the mercy of your weakened willpower)
Salted Pretzel: The food of devotion to the faith (Eat this and drink beer to bcome one with the universal Pastry)

True followers of the Pastry:
Nomad Bryce
Bengeance

True followers of the pastry can declare that someone else has become a true follower. True Followers may declare the effects of different pastries.

 

[Nomad Bryce]

As I posted my discovery of faith, Robopig has declared himself a god! Religions are everywhere! May the Universal Truth of Pastries, the incarnations of all UNiversal Principles survive the massing of religions!

 

[Bengeance]

Finally I have found my true calling. I wish to study at the counter of the True Pastry. Surely more will be revealed to me as I discover the sacred flavors of all the pastries.

 

[Bengeance]

In my search for truth in pastry, I have discovered some small things.

Apple Turnover: Pastry of family (Eat for harmonious home life)
Cherry pie: Pie of fornication (Eat this pie and find yourself at the mercy of your weakened willpower)

 

[Swissempire]

I was confused for a second, but then relized you were a sect of Chipism that worshiped the Cake Buddha, God of Sweets and Giver of Gifts. Deny it all you want, but Chip has shown me the truth!!

 

[Nomad Bryce]

I do deny it, The Chipists are fools to call us but a subsect of themselves! Your declaration of visions leads me to question parts of your mental stability!

Salted Pretzels are a sacred food! The body and blood of The Universal Pastry is Pretzel and Beer. I give you this day your daily pretzel.

 

[Swissempire]

I will take your salted pretzel and offer it to the Cake Buddha. Then I shall take another and eat it, THEN i shall pray the Omegacat spares you soul!

*this is all roleplay*

*In RDGL, he is a nice guy, but in this roleplay, he is a misguided, denying heathen!*

 

[Beorn-eL-Feared]

Cherry Pie !!!!!