The lamest jokes you can think of....... II

[Uncle Sparky]

I cannot wait to turn 30 and see my first XXX movie.

 

[Arakhor]

Why does it take so long to cut bushes into animal shapes? It's a long way to To-pi-ary.

 

[caketastydelish]

What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite NFL team?

Spoiler :

The New York Jets

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Addicted to country music? There's a 2-step program for that.

 

[caketastydelish]

Whats the difference between a cow and 9/11?

Spoiler :

Americans cant milk a cow for 15 years.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Why do teenage girls always travel in odd number groups?
Because they can't even.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I will be posting my jokes telepathically today. If you think of something funny, it was me.

 

[Arakhor]

I'm too old for Pokémon - if you'd asked me what one was when I was a child, I'd have said a Jamaican with a pointy stick.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

My wife and I decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty hard.

 

[caketastydelish]

I tried to quit heroin, but it was all in vein.

 

[Arakhor]

And then you became a Mighty Morphine Power Ranger, eh?

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite NFL team?

Spoiler :

The New York Jets

What was Osama bin Laden's favourite College team?

Spoiler :

Islamic State

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Today, I held a door open for a clown. It was a nice jester.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What do you get if you lock Dolly Parton in a room with Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton?

Two gigantic boobs and one country singer.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Always answer a telemarketing phonecall," It's done... but there's blood everywhere". Then hang up.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

If attacked by a mob of clowns, always go for the juggler.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Research suggests that if you are afraid of spiders, you are more likely to find them in your bedroom. I'm afraid of Scarlett Johannson.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Mountains aren't funny - they are hill areas.

 

[Arakhor]

Heh.

Modern gangsters don't put horses' heads on your pillow - they just use Tesco Value burgers instead.

 

[EvaDK]

What’s the difference between a ginger and a brick?

At least the brick gets laid.