benjdm
Warlord
Duty days SUCK.
The Spearman
- Thread starter Chingis Khan
- Start date
Duty days SUCK.
Chingis Khan
Scourge Of The World
Mike walked to stand next to The Spearman. As they both stood, shoulder to shoulder, looking down the mountainside to the long column of armor snaking it's way ever closer, Mike spoke, "So, when do you think your reinforcements will be here?"
The old man threw a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the ledge on the other side of the ridge. Mike walked over. In the distance, he could see a long trail of dust rising from the opposite side of the mountain. He ran back to the old man.
"Holy geez! Your guys are almost here already? Why didn't you tell me?"
The Spearman turned his bearded head, "You didn't ask." He gestured toward the advancing tanks, "Now these fools will see something! Ha! They are in tanks, but my civilization is probably in... oh, I don't know, bigger tanks. I did mention that the last time I saw these guys, we were the first to invent chivalry, right? We have probably got laser guns, and stuff now. But just to be sure, would you do me a favor and go back to the cave. In there, you will find a big spear. On this spear, you will find a large, red button. Could you bring that to me?"
Mike mumbled, "Sure, sure", and walked off to get it.
The lead tank in the column rumbled to a halt. The commander opened his hatch and looked about cautiously; he had had a wierd experience on the drive up here. A fly had been bugging him for most of the ride. And the commander had been sure a couple of times that the fly had been...had been talking to him! He could have sworn that he had heard a kind of mexican accent, barely audible over the rumble of twenty five nine-hundred horsepower engines, powering twenty five ninty ton armored tanks up the mountain. Well, the fly had stopped bothering him now, and he could see Shole's tank sitting in the road ahead. The paint was chipped, and quite badly scratched in some places. There was a large pile of rocks jamming the treads; and for some reason, there was a large pile of deadwood piled up underneath the tank! The hatch popped open, and Shole stuck his head out, "Hey! It's about time you guys got here! Let's go run this little sum***** over! Yeeeeehaaaaawww!" They got out and moved the pile of rocks together. Shole was back in command!
From the other side of the mountain, The Spearman's reinforcements had almost reached the pass.
The Spearman stood in the middle of the road. Mike stood next to him, holding 'the spear'. The mighty column of armor rumbled around the corner. As Shole caught sight of The Spearman, he ordered the tanks to fan out. The Spearman faced the line of tanks calmly. Behind him, a cloud of dust and smoke announced the arrival of his reinforcements. The dust and smoke swept over everybody. As the air cleared, The Spearman turned to see what his civ had sent him. The smirk fell from his face as he saw a group of knights on horseback.
"What the hell? You have got to be kidding me!" He ran to the leader of the knights, "What the hell is this? Some kind of joke?"
The leader of the knights looked down, "What? No! We jest not, old man. Now step thyself aside, and allow mine noble knights to pursue thy...um, thine, no, wait," he mumbled to himself for a few seconds. The Spearman sighed, "Thou?" he offered helpfully.
"Yes! Pursue thou metal dragons to thouesth demiseseth."
"What happened to our technological advancement for the last several hundred years?"
The knight looked away for a moment before answering, "Um, well, although our technology was going quite well, our people were always unhappy and we never had enough money. Then nobody else would trade with us and, well, we are on "emporer level" you know."
The Spearman nodded thoughtfully. He knew how it was. One minute you're doing great, then everybody else in the world ganged up on you...
The knight spoke again, "But we do have the latest technology in swords and stuff! Check this out!" He leaned down to show The Spearman his sword. Etched on the side were the words, "TK-Mk II".
The old man scratched his head, "TK?"
The knight answered his question with a grin, "Tank Killer! Where do you think all that money for our upkeep goes? These swords are expensive, you know..."
The old man threw a thumb over his shoulder, indicating the ledge on the other side of the ridge. Mike walked over. In the distance, he could see a long trail of dust rising from the opposite side of the mountain. He ran back to the old man.
"Holy geez! Your guys are almost here already? Why didn't you tell me?"
The Spearman turned his bearded head, "You didn't ask." He gestured toward the advancing tanks, "Now these fools will see something! Ha! They are in tanks, but my civilization is probably in... oh, I don't know, bigger tanks. I did mention that the last time I saw these guys, we were the first to invent chivalry, right? We have probably got laser guns, and stuff now. But just to be sure, would you do me a favor and go back to the cave. In there, you will find a big spear. On this spear, you will find a large, red button. Could you bring that to me?"
Mike mumbled, "Sure, sure", and walked off to get it.
The lead tank in the column rumbled to a halt. The commander opened his hatch and looked about cautiously; he had had a wierd experience on the drive up here. A fly had been bugging him for most of the ride. And the commander had been sure a couple of times that the fly had been...had been talking to him! He could have sworn that he had heard a kind of mexican accent, barely audible over the rumble of twenty five nine-hundred horsepower engines, powering twenty five ninty ton armored tanks up the mountain. Well, the fly had stopped bothering him now, and he could see Shole's tank sitting in the road ahead. The paint was chipped, and quite badly scratched in some places. There was a large pile of rocks jamming the treads; and for some reason, there was a large pile of deadwood piled up underneath the tank! The hatch popped open, and Shole stuck his head out, "Hey! It's about time you guys got here! Let's go run this little sum***** over! Yeeeeehaaaaawww!" They got out and moved the pile of rocks together. Shole was back in command!
From the other side of the mountain, The Spearman's reinforcements had almost reached the pass.
The Spearman stood in the middle of the road. Mike stood next to him, holding 'the spear'. The mighty column of armor rumbled around the corner. As Shole caught sight of The Spearman, he ordered the tanks to fan out. The Spearman faced the line of tanks calmly. Behind him, a cloud of dust and smoke announced the arrival of his reinforcements. The dust and smoke swept over everybody. As the air cleared, The Spearman turned to see what his civ had sent him. The smirk fell from his face as he saw a group of knights on horseback.
"What the hell? You have got to be kidding me!" He ran to the leader of the knights, "What the hell is this? Some kind of joke?"
The leader of the knights looked down, "What? No! We jest not, old man. Now step thyself aside, and allow mine noble knights to pursue thy...um, thine, no, wait," he mumbled to himself for a few seconds. The Spearman sighed, "Thou?" he offered helpfully.
"Yes! Pursue thou metal dragons to thouesth demiseseth."
"What happened to our technological advancement for the last several hundred years?"
The knight looked away for a moment before answering, "Um, well, although our technology was going quite well, our people were always unhappy and we never had enough money. Then nobody else would trade with us and, well, we are on "emporer level" you know."
The Spearman nodded thoughtfully. He knew how it was. One minute you're doing great, then everybody else in the world ganged up on you...
The knight spoke again, "But we do have the latest technology in swords and stuff! Check this out!" He leaned down to show The Spearman his sword. Etched on the side were the words, "TK-Mk II".
The old man scratched his head, "TK?"
The knight answered his question with a grin, "Tank Killer! Where do you think all that money for our upkeep goes? These swords are expensive, you know..."
Revolutionairy
President for life
Can't wait for the battle
:)civ2
Uber Commie
what are thys sords made of are they beam sabors or sumptin??
Perfection
The Great Head.
Come on and post, its been almost an entire week
he's right. Where's the rest?
Revolutionairy
President for life
I'm stilling calling missing persons but their missing as well
Hellfire
Prince
Oh no... don't tell me Chingis got a life?!?!?!?!?! 
lets hope not.
Chingis Khan
Scourge Of The World
Originally posted by Hellfire
Oh no... don't tell me Chingis got a life?!?!?!?!?!
Nope, I still don't have a life! I'll try to finish this story, but I just started a new one. "the Death of an Empire" is a prequel to "The Culture Flip". I was going to let "The Spearman" die, but I guess I can try to finish it off... after all, The Spearman is immortal
Perfection
The Great Head.
HE LIVES!!! We were worried about you, we thought you will ill OR WORSE went to APOLYTON 
Yeah, we don't want to lose "our own Terry prachet(sp?)" to Apolyton do we?
Chingis Khan
Scourge Of The World
Mike nudged The Spearman in the ribs, "So what's going on?"
The Spearman turned, "Well, peabrain, since I created this world, I've been gaurding this mountain. Then you and a bunch of infantry came along. After I beat the infantry, a tank came along, which I was beating up pretty good, and would have set on fire if you hadn't of interfered," he paused to glare at Mike, "then the tank called for backup, so now I have to face twenty tanks, but I called in my reinforcements and they arrived. Only they turned out to be a bunch of dolts on horseback, but they do have some mighty nice swords. We are just about to do battle, but it will probably all turn out good in the end, because I have a special spear with a big red button, and as we have seen, when I press a big red button, things happen. Oh yeah, and this wierd fly keeps showing up wherever the action is," (If this was a movie, this would be the point at which The Spearman would turn to face the camera) ,"Got it?"
Mike scratched his head, "Umm, sure. But I only meant what's going on with that knight's sword. You were looking at it pretty hard."
The Spearman glared at Mike for a second before turning to the knights, "CHARGE!!!!"
A.S.Shole yelled over the radio to the other tank commanders, "CHARGE!!!!"
A voice crackled over the the tank's radio, "Did he just say 'charge'? We are in tanks you know. We could maybe just, oh I don't know, stand back and shoot them all?"
A.S.Shole came back on the radio, "Umm, yeah, that's what I meant."
A third voice crackled into play, "No, you definately said 'Charge'. That is totally different than shoot."
"Look, I meant shoot, okay? 'Charge' is just, like, an expression."
A fourth voice joined in, "Are you sure? I've never heard 'charge' be used as an expression to shoot. Maybe you could say, 'Blast', or something," the voice added helpfully.
The second voice agreed, "Yeah, 'Blast' is good, or you could maybe say, 'Let's go get 'em, boys'."
The third voice, "Yeah, I would totally not be confused by that. But 'Charge' is kinda dumb, you know?"
Shole burst across the radio in fury, "LOOK MORONS! 'DAMN BLAST 'EM, CHARGE, LET'S GO GET 'EM, WHATEVER! BUT LET'S ATTACK SHALL WE?"
There was a silence.
Then, "You don't have to be so mean about it..."
"Yeah, we have feelings you know..."
The knights reached the tanks without a shot being fired. They immediately fell to hacking and slicing with their TK-Mk II swords. The sound of metal on metal fell across the battlefield-*tink tink tinketty tink tink tink * thud * tink tinka tink tink tinka tink *thud* tink tink *thud* -There was a pause as one of the knights turned to his eager, but not too bright friend and helped him take his sword out of it's sheath - *tink tinketty tink tink tink*
The Spearman turned, "Well, peabrain, since I created this world, I've been gaurding this mountain. Then you and a bunch of infantry came along. After I beat the infantry, a tank came along, which I was beating up pretty good, and would have set on fire if you hadn't of interfered," he paused to glare at Mike, "then the tank called for backup, so now I have to face twenty tanks, but I called in my reinforcements and they arrived. Only they turned out to be a bunch of dolts on horseback, but they do have some mighty nice swords. We are just about to do battle, but it will probably all turn out good in the end, because I have a special spear with a big red button, and as we have seen, when I press a big red button, things happen. Oh yeah, and this wierd fly keeps showing up wherever the action is," (If this was a movie, this would be the point at which The Spearman would turn to face the camera) ,"Got it?"
Mike scratched his head, "Umm, sure. But I only meant what's going on with that knight's sword. You were looking at it pretty hard."
The Spearman glared at Mike for a second before turning to the knights, "CHARGE!!!!"
A.S.Shole yelled over the radio to the other tank commanders, "CHARGE!!!!"
A voice crackled over the the tank's radio, "Did he just say 'charge'? We are in tanks you know. We could maybe just, oh I don't know, stand back and shoot them all?"
A.S.Shole came back on the radio, "Umm, yeah, that's what I meant."
A third voice crackled into play, "No, you definately said 'Charge'. That is totally different than shoot."
"Look, I meant shoot, okay? 'Charge' is just, like, an expression."
A fourth voice joined in, "Are you sure? I've never heard 'charge' be used as an expression to shoot. Maybe you could say, 'Blast', or something," the voice added helpfully.
The second voice agreed, "Yeah, 'Blast' is good, or you could maybe say, 'Let's go get 'em, boys'."
The third voice, "Yeah, I would totally not be confused by that. But 'Charge' is kinda dumb, you know?"
Shole burst across the radio in fury, "LOOK MORONS! 'DAMN BLAST 'EM, CHARGE, LET'S GO GET 'EM, WHATEVER! BUT LET'S ATTACK SHALL WE?"
There was a silence.
Then, "You don't have to be so mean about it..."
"Yeah, we have feelings you know..."
The knights reached the tanks without a shot being fired. They immediately fell to hacking and slicing with their TK-Mk II swords. The sound of metal on metal fell across the battlefield-*tink tink tinketty tink tink tink * thud * tink tinka tink tink tinka tink *thud* tink tink *thud* -There was a pause as one of the knights turned to his eager, but not too bright friend and helped him take his sword out of it's sheath - *tink tinketty tink tink tink*
Nick014
Deposed Despot
I love it!
Perfection
The Great Head.
YAY, we got more!
NO GIVE US EVEN MORE
NO GIVE US EVEN MORE
Yes you better give us more, we Civ3 stories and tales fans can get pretty vicious if we don't get what we want.
Chingis Khan
Scourge Of The World
One knight pranced defiantly around a tank on his steed, striking out with his sword every now and then. Great gouges appeared in the metal beasts' hide. One hole opened enough to reveal the tank driver, who looked out in shock.
"AH HA!", cried the knight, "Now I have you!"
He lunged forward to make the killing blow, but the gunner performed one of those moves made in sheer desperation, but which turn out perfectly. The main gun swept down and across. *DONG!!!* It hit the knight squarely on the head.
"Owww!" The knight held up a finger as if to say something quite profound, swayed a little in the saddle, and then collapsed on the ground with a clinking of metal.
"Aha haha hahahaaaa....uuurrghhh..." The driver's laughter was cut off by the sword which swept from the smoke and dust to the side. The leader of the knights laughed himself as he continued to carve the tank into pieces. He worked hard, and diligently, and when he was done, little pieces of the tank were spread across the ground. And, because he thought it was funny, the knight had left the remaining crew alive, and staring in disbelief at the ruined tank all around them.
Another knight had been dismounted by a blast from one of the main guns. He stood in front of the tank as the hatch popped open and one of the crew manned the .50 caliber machine gun on top. The knight hurriedly ducked behind his shield (the very latest in shields. The Mk-III anti tank shield, of course) as a hail of bullets bounced harmlessly from the metal. The knight peered around the edge of the shield and laughed at the gunner,
"Ha haaaa. Do your worst, fool! Your bullets cannot harm me..."
He was cut off as the tank lurched forwards, and right over his foot.
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Son of a... Ghhooo, that hurts."
Watching the battle from his vantage point, The Spearman saw that it wasn't going very well for the knights. He turned to Mike,"Right, it's time for The Big Red Button! Check this out..."
He held The Spear out in front of him. The battle below seemed to die down as more and more heads turned to see what dastardly effects The Spear would have. A strange lull fell across the battle, and the dust began to settle around the fighting men. A single ray of sunlight fell onto The Spearman, illuminating him quite clearly. The men who survived the battle would tell their children of this very moment. And those children would tell their children, and so forth and so on. And what they would tell them would be this;
This crazy looking old dude, he stood over us. Holding a bloody great big spear. I mean this spear was frigging huge, man! And did I say that this dude looked crazy? Well, that's an understatement. I mean, he looked crazy, but sane, you know? Like, he looked as majestic as the old oak tree, but as humble as a beggar, you know, that one beggar that keeps bothering us by the bus stop? Well, kinda like that, but majestic, too. And he also looked. ummm, he looked mean. Mean as a tomcat that you just had neutered...no! Mean as a tomcat that you're taking to be neutered and knows it!But he still kinda looked friendly. Like Mr. Rogers friendly, you know? Anywway, it was wierd, him standing there, looking all contradictory and whatnot, but then he raises this bloody great big Spear. He's holding it in one hand, right? And with his other hand, he slowly, so slowly, reaches over and presses this Big Red Button!
The children lean forward in anticipation,
"And then? What happens then, Daddy?" The children would say.
And the man would say,
"And then......"
"AH HA!", cried the knight, "Now I have you!"
He lunged forward to make the killing blow, but the gunner performed one of those moves made in sheer desperation, but which turn out perfectly. The main gun swept down and across. *DONG!!!* It hit the knight squarely on the head.
"Owww!" The knight held up a finger as if to say something quite profound, swayed a little in the saddle, and then collapsed on the ground with a clinking of metal.
"Aha haha hahahaaaa....uuurrghhh..." The driver's laughter was cut off by the sword which swept from the smoke and dust to the side. The leader of the knights laughed himself as he continued to carve the tank into pieces. He worked hard, and diligently, and when he was done, little pieces of the tank were spread across the ground. And, because he thought it was funny, the knight had left the remaining crew alive, and staring in disbelief at the ruined tank all around them.
Another knight had been dismounted by a blast from one of the main guns. He stood in front of the tank as the hatch popped open and one of the crew manned the .50 caliber machine gun on top. The knight hurriedly ducked behind his shield (the very latest in shields. The Mk-III anti tank shield, of course) as a hail of bullets bounced harmlessly from the metal. The knight peered around the edge of the shield and laughed at the gunner,
"Ha haaaa. Do your worst, fool! Your bullets cannot harm me..."
He was cut off as the tank lurched forwards, and right over his foot.
"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH! Son of a... Ghhooo, that hurts."
Watching the battle from his vantage point, The Spearman saw that it wasn't going very well for the knights. He turned to Mike,"Right, it's time for The Big Red Button! Check this out..."
He held The Spear out in front of him. The battle below seemed to die down as more and more heads turned to see what dastardly effects The Spear would have. A strange lull fell across the battle, and the dust began to settle around the fighting men. A single ray of sunlight fell onto The Spearman, illuminating him quite clearly. The men who survived the battle would tell their children of this very moment. And those children would tell their children, and so forth and so on. And what they would tell them would be this;
This crazy looking old dude, he stood over us. Holding a bloody great big spear. I mean this spear was frigging huge, man! And did I say that this dude looked crazy? Well, that's an understatement. I mean, he looked crazy, but sane, you know? Like, he looked as majestic as the old oak tree, but as humble as a beggar, you know, that one beggar that keeps bothering us by the bus stop? Well, kinda like that, but majestic, too. And he also looked. ummm, he looked mean. Mean as a tomcat that you just had neutered...no! Mean as a tomcat that you're taking to be neutered and knows it!But he still kinda looked friendly. Like Mr. Rogers friendly, you know? Anywway, it was wierd, him standing there, looking all contradictory and whatnot, but then he raises this bloody great big Spear. He's holding it in one hand, right? And with his other hand, he slowly, so slowly, reaches over and presses this Big Red Button!
The children lean forward in anticipation,
"And then? What happens then, Daddy?" The children would say.
And the man would say,
"And then......"
i hate that kind of thing, you're stalling! finish it
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