Turtle strategy expanded

Bibor

Doomsday Machine
Joined
Jun 6, 2004
Messages
3,143
Location
Zagreb, Croatia
Okay, I know 2k is going to be really mad at me for posting this, but I thought I share this with you guys: there's a hidden resource in this game and there's a strategy that revolves around it!

I used this strategy in many other games, and I got the Golden Broccoli of the Year twice in a row, and I'm on top of all ladders for quite some time now (I bought 17 ladders, one for my comic book shelf, others for basement; I have more ladders than everyone else in the neighbourhood now).

This is how it's going to work in CIV V:

There's a pearl resource, right? Pearls come from clams, everyone knows that. Now there's an ancient saying "Where there's clam - there's a turtle!" If you haven't heard about it - google it up. I posted it on numerous unknown forums.

That's right folks! Turtles are a hidden resource in this game!

Now, this strategy revolves around RAPID EXPANSION and using TURTLING as a combat strategy. You'll be using SCOUTS and ARCHERS as your only units, so you don't really need teching.

First, you need a sizeable amount of turtles. Mount your scouts onto turtles. This way they'll move really, really slow. As a matter of fact, the opponent (especially in MP) will probably go crazy and quit ("OMG is this scout moving or what?!?!").
You also want the opponent to move slow, so no road building is allowed. I Know the devs said enemy won't benefit from friendly roads, but you can't really be sure, right? No roads.
Next you need to get your archers on turtles. Now, this is going to be tricky. Because even if turtles move slow, archers might get balance issues.

What we need is to mount them on dead turtles!

How do we do that? Well, it's tricky. How can you tell if a turtle is really dead? I mean, they don't move much in the first place. It requires pretty advanced science to be absolutely sure. YOU'LL HAVE TO RISK IT! 50% archers will be on dead turtles, 50% will get a barely a live one. I never said this strategy is going to work out perfectly.

Now, rapid expansion. Turtles are slow on land, but they are fast in water! So you are free to REX downriver and on the coasts. You need to grab as many clam resources as you can.

Once you have the scouts and archers mounted on turtles and cities spread all over those blazing turtle highways, it's time to confront the enemy.

This part of the strategy (also tested in other MP games) revolves around EXPLOITING a flaw in CIV V and that's "one unit per tile". I already said that the enemy can't really say if a turtle-mounted unit is moving or what. Now we add to that strategy another layer and that is:

:band:

NO UNIT PER TILE.

That's right! You will confuse your enemy by not having units on critical tiles. Instead, while he's confused, you'll TURTLE-SWIM AROUND the enemy lines and hit them from behind! And their cities are now open to your turtle-counterattack!

Ahahahahhaah-ha! *wipes off tears* Works every time.
 
I've read the game code, and it turns out "turtle archers" are the super secret unique unit that everybody's talking about.
 
*jots down notes before this thread is locked.* I'll be sure to use this when the game comes out.
 
out of curiosity, how many different pharmaceuticals did you take before writing this? :p



(very funny though hahaha)
 
I'd like to make an addendum. It's critical that you give all of your archers Gloves of Dexterity +6. That way, even if you happen to mount your archers onto a living turtle, their added dexterity bonus will supply them with an additional +3 modifier to their Balance rolls. The gloves will also provide them with Drill III and Shock III. FOR FREE*!

*[SIZE="-5"]Not counting the 36,000 gold spent.[/SIZE]
 
and of course the stratergy works even better if you use amphibious archers!:mischief:

PS - dont question me, i am the best civ player from Sri Lanka!!! So dont argue!
 
If you ally with the "Foot Clan" city state, you can trade resources for turtles of the teenage mutant ninja variety.
 
I'm glad that you guys realised how important me and my strategy are. Now I can tell my mom how special I am, if I could only force myself to go up from the basement. It's a good thing that after 45 years she managed to make me go to the pharmacy to get my own medication otherwise I'd never go out.
 
um, turtles are amphibious, so mounted turtle archers are in fact an amphibious unit!

yes an with amphibious archers on amphibious turtles you get the "double amphibious" bonus. (+100% attack bonus + 2 movement points after attack + invisible to enemy units on next turn)

Not to mention the fact that if your turtle dies your archer can still continue the attack since he is amphibious.

Now i hope you will stop questioning me, as i said i am the best civ player from Sri Lanka!:p
 
Surely the great turtles will each be carrying 4 amphibious war elephants into battle ready to capture and carry away your best tiles on the backs of the elephants.
There's even a model of this very strategy ready to be released as part of the super secret deluxe collectors edition available for preorder soon:
Spoiler :
pewterturtle.jpg
 
The OP obviously put a lot of effort into it and ended up being only mildly amusing. Epic fail in my book.
 
At least the OP made it into the last week before cracking...I figure I have maybe 2 more days before I lose it myself and just jump off of Niagria Falls (I go there Saturday).

I called my cable company today and they tell me they started rolling out their new software fixes but that I have to WAIT to get that as well. :cry:
 
Fantastic turning about of classical gaming phrases my friend. "Ladder" "Turtling" and so on. Really funny read!

P.S. Nerf Turtles. Obviously OP.
 
Back
Top Bottom