In my current game, the city with my wife was conquered by the Spanish. Now every time I want to see her, I have to attack the city first. But I can't install another governor, even if I have 200 men against a city garrison of 20 soldiers.
Conclusion: Whatever you choose as starting team, don't marry a spanish daughter, if you plan to plunder them!
Actually As Spanish Duke, you would be REALLY surprised how much . .. .. .. . they put up with before blocking you from the port. I plunder the spanish when english french targets are few to no end, but it is rare I get blocked. For another reason I always take mind to marry the daughter of Cartegena or Havana if she is beatiful because this city will *never* change nationality.