Fancy a bet on the World Cup?
Need to study the form?
Look no further
>BRAZIL
>======
>
>What they will say - There'll be a carnival in Rio, Samba Superstars etc.
>
>What they won't say - That Edmundo's a nice, sensible lad.
>
>Strengths - Large breasted female supporters.
>
>Weaknesses - Large breasted male supporters.
>
>Chances - Scheidt.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Ronaldo Shares A Dentist With My Hamster.
>
>
>URUGUAY
>=======
>What they will say - And here comes the stretcher.
>
>What they won't say - And the FIFA Fair Play award goes to.
>
>Strengths - Being red blooded.
>
>Weaknesses - Getting red carded.
>
>Chances - Recoba-d.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Paolo Montero Crippled My Hamster.
>
>
>USA
>===
>
>What they will say - They once had a flukey, jammy one nil victory over the
>mighty England in 1950.
>
>What they won't say - England were lucky to get nil.
>
>Strengths - Claudio Reyna has no fear.
>
>Weaknesses - Claudio Reyna has no neck.
>
>Chances - Cram it up yo ass.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Dan Quayle Mis-Spelt 'My Hamster'.
>
>
>SOUTH KOREA
>==========
>
>What they will say - It's a dog eat dog competition.
>
>What they won't say - It's a man eat dog restaurant.
>
>Strengths - Home advantage.
>
>Weaknesses - Having a worse record in the World Cup than Scotland.
>
>Chances - Poor wee Seouls.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Delicious Meal Included My Hamster.
>
>
>CHINA
>=====
>
>What they will say - Football goes in cycles.
>
>What they won't say - Fans travel on cycles.
>
>Strengths - The ability to construct a defensive wall that's visible from
>space.
>
>Weaknesses - Once you've seen them play, you want to watch them again 30
>minutes later.
>
>Chances - Beijings, crivvens and help ma boab.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Chairman Mao Oppressed My Hamster.
>
>
>PARAGUAY
>========
>
>What they will say - Is that Henry Rollins in goal?
>
>What they won't say - Paolo Maldini obviously got his good looks from his
>father.
>
>Strengths - Defense.
>
>Weaknesses - Everything else.
>
>Chances - Arce.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Cesare Maldini Bears A Striking Resemblance To My Hamster.
>
>
>COSTA RICA
>==========
>
>What they will say - We beat Scotland in the World Cup.
>
>What they won't say - Everyone beats Scotland in the World Cup.
>
>Strengths - Coffee beans.
>
>Weaknesses - Has-beens.
>
>Chances - Costa Reeking.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Paolo Wanchope Gangled My Hamster.
>
>
>FRANCE
>======
>
>What they will say - There's a great ball from the Arsenal player to the
>Chelsea player.
>
>What they won't say - There's a great performance from the Man Utd goalie.
>
>Strengths - The early starts won't interrupt French fans in the shower.
>
>Weaknesses - In a recent friendly they only managed to beat Scotland 5-0.
>
>Chances - Tres formidable.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Jean-Marie Le Pen Received A Vote From My Hamster.
>
>
>PORTUGAL
>========
>
>What they will say - Can we check your passport, Mr Couto?
>
>What they won't say - Can you recommend a good barber, Mr Xavier?
>
>Strengths - Talented individuals.
>
>Weaknesses - Talented individuals.
>
>Chances - Wouldn't Beto on it
>
>Tabloid Hell - Abel Xavier Bleached My Hamster
>
>
>SPAIN
>=====
>
>What they will say - They make Scotland look like overachievers.
>
>What they won't say - Hey Manuel, clear a place on the mantelpiece for the
>trophy.
>
>Strengths - Getting there.
>
>Weaknesses - Staying there.
>
>Chances - Nada.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Basque Terrorists Blew Up My Hamster
>
>
>DENMARK
>=======
>
>What they will say - Danish pasting.
>
>What they won't say - If only Jan Bartram was still playing.
>
>Strengths - Inspire tabloid sub-editors to a million 'Great Danes'
>headlines.
>
>Weaknesses - Pundit appearances by a red-nosed Peter Schmeichel may affect
>your vertical hold.
>
>Chances - To Helveg and back.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Michael Laudrup Dribbled Round My Hamster.
>
>
>POLAND
>======
>
>What they will say - How do you pronounce that?
>
>What they won't say - Swierczewski, Kryszalowicz, Krzynowek.
>
>Strengths - All the players provide an excellent score in Scrabble.
>
>Weaknesses - Losing to England in qualifying matches.
>
>Chances - We came, Warsaw, were conquered.
>
>Tabloid Hell - German Troops Invaded My Hamster.
>
>
>SOUTH AFRICA
>============
>
>What they will say - Quinton Fortune plays for Man Utd.
>
>What they won't say - Tinkler? Sounds a bit pish.
>
>Strengths - They represent The Rainbow Nation.
>
>Weaknesses - There's no pot of gold at the end of it.
>
>Chances - Issa no good.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Nelson Mandela Incarcerated With My Hamster.
>
>
>SLOVENIA
>========
>
>What they will say - Flares on the trousers.
>
>What they won't say - Flair on the pitch.
>
>Strengths - You'll never forget your first time.
>
>Weaknesses - Vast capacity for vodka.
>
>Chances - They put the 'Sloven' in 'Slovenly'.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Soviet Forces Invaded My Hamster.
>
>
>TURKEY
>=====
>
>What they will say - Have you seen Midnight Express?
>
>What they won't say - Turkey have seen midday success.
>
>Strengths - The name 'Tugay' is a source of unlimited hilarity.
>
>Weaknesses - Souness will be on the telly as a pundit.
>
>Chances - Load of Istanbul.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Squalid Jail Cell For My Hamster.
>
>
>SENEGAL
>=======
>
>What they will say - Fine and Diandy.
>
>What they won't say - What a big Cisse.
>
>Strengths - Unknown quantity.
>
>Weaknesses - Unknown quantity.
>
>Chances - Don't be Daf.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Titi Camara Snapped My Hamster.
>
>
>England
>========
>
>What they will say - 1966, 1966, 1966, 1966, 1966 ,1966, 1966, 1966.
>
>What they won't say - 1970, 1974, 1978, 1982, 1986, 1990, 1994, 1998.
>
>Strengths - Foreign manager.
>
>Weaknesses - Penalty shoot-outs.
>
>Chances - Truly Dyer.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Ulrika Jonsson Shagged My Hamster.
>
>
>Sweden
>======
>
>What they will say - Dark horses.
>
>What they won't say - Dark hair.
>
>Strengths - Getting busty supporters on camera.
>
>Weaknesses - So much of a one man band they may as well strap cymbals
>to their knees.
>
>Chances - Smorgasbord-ering on the ridiculous.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Tomas Brolin Ate Four Fish Suppers, Twelve Beefburgers,
>A Vat Of Lard And My Hamster.
>
>
>Japan
>=====
>
>What they will say - Hold still...and chee-eese! Hey, nice picture!
>
>What they won't say - The Japanese players are head and shoulders
>above the opposition.
>
>Strengths - Playing the tournament during the rainy season may negate
>the need to use water cannons on unruly England fans.
>
>Weaknesses - Basically it's Hidetoshi Nakata and ten others.
>
>Chances - More chance of winning on Banzai TV.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Japanese Tourists Photographed My Hamster.
>
>
>Croatia
>=======
>
>What they will say - Emerged from the rubble of war-torn Yugoslavia.
>
>What they won't say - Hey Boksic, fancy playing Lurch in a remake of The
>Addams Family?
>
>Strengths - Shirt can be used as a makeshift chequers board.
>
>Weaknesses - Couldn't beat Scotland in the qualifiers.
>
>Chances - Load of Balkans
>
>Tabloid Hell - Robert Prosinecki Smoked My Hamster.
>
>
>Belgium
>=======
>
>What they will say - Another early exit.
>
>What they won't say - Look at these colourful, madcap supporters.
>
>Strengths - Bureaucracy.
>
>Weaknesses - Tedium.
>
>Chances - Sonck without a trace.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Plastic Bertrand Duetted With My Hamster.
>
>
>Tunisia
>=======
>
>What they will say - Pack your bags, boys - we're off to the World Cup.
>
>What they won't say - 14 pairs of socks should be enough.
>
>Strengths - Four of the squad play in Italy for Genoa.
>
>Weaknesses - Genoa are rubbish.
>
>Chances - It'll go from Badra to worse.
>
>Tabloid Hell - A Camel Took A Shine To My Hamster.
>
>
>Germany
>=======
>
>What they will say - Teutonic efficiency, For you Fritz ze World Cup is
>over, Panzer divisions etc.
>
>What they won't say - They'll be popular winners.
>
>Strengths - 5% vol.
>
>Weaknesses - Michael Owen.
>
>Chances - Load of number zwei.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Tony Schumacher Collided With My Hamster.
>
>
>Italy
>=====
>
>What they will say - Why haven't they picked Gianfranco Zola?
>
>What they won't say - Why haven't they picked Lorenzo Amoruso?
>
>Strengths - Defensive play.
>
>Weaknesses - Defending their defensive play.
>
>Chances - Vieri good.
>
>Tabloid Hell - My Mother Is Hairier Than My Hamster.
>
>
>Saudi Arabia
>============
>
>What they will say - They've had more coaches than Citylink.
>
>What they won't say - The drinks are on me.
>
>Strengths - Sobriety.
>
>Weaknesses - A preponderance of moustaches makes them likely to be mistaken
>for the Italian players' mothers.
>
>Chances - No great Sheiks.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Saudi Authorities Beheaded My Hamster.
>
>
>Russia
>======
>
>What they will say - Psst, want to buy some weapons grade uranium?
>
>What they won't say - Bring us back some duty free vodka.
>
>Strengths - Nikiforov, Karpin, Alenichev.
>
>Weaknesses - Kanchelskis.
>
>Chances - Are you taking the Yuran?
>
>Tabloid Hell - Boris Yeltsin Drank My Hamster.
>
>
>Ireland
>========
>
>What they will say - Luck of the Irish, blarney stone, if only for
>Keane...
>
>What they won't say - Shay Given does his bit for the Irish peace
>process by decommissioning his arms from making any saves.
>
>Strengths - Having the support of the fans, the pundits and the Board
>of Directors at Celtic Park.
>
>Weaknesses - A worrying lack of potato-based meals in the Far East.
>
>Chances - Duff.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Liam Brady Managed My Hamster.
>
>
>Cameroon
>========
>
>What they will say - African Champions, Olympic Champions.
>
>What they won't say - Let's roll our sleeves up lads.
>
>Strengths - Their coach is German.
>
>Weaknesses - Their defence is Jerry-built.
>
>Chances - Likely to Mboma out.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Roger Milla Did A Merry Jig Around My Hamster.
>
>
>Nigeria
>=======
>
>What they will say - Kanu.
>
>What they won't say - Nwankwu.
>
>Strengths - Julius Aghahowa's Olga Korbett impression.
>
>Weaknesses - Tragically, Nwankwo Kanu has the smallest head in world
>football.
>
>Chances - You Kanu be serious.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Taribo West Broke My Hamster.
>
>
>Argentina
>=========
>
>What they will say - Gotcha.
>
>What they won't say - Beatcha.
>
>Strengths - Goal scoring.
>
>Weaknesses - Goring, Scholes, Beckham et al.
>
>Chances - Muy Bien.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Claudio Caniggia Snorted My Hamster.
>
>
>Ecuador
>=======
>
>What they will say - The flight of the condors.
>
>What they won't say - Quito while you're ahead.
>
>Strengths -Many of their squad play abroad.
>
>Weaknesses - Unfortunately De La Cruz plays for Hibs.
>
>Chances - This is going to Hurtado.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Altitude Sickness Affected My Hamster.
>
>
>Mexico
>======
>
>What they will say - Vamos a Texas.
>
>What they won't say - Welcome to Texas.
>
>Strengths - 40% vol tequila.
>
>Weaknesses - Montezuma's revenge.
>
>Chances - Distinctly chili.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Cuauhtemoc Blanco Did Bunny Jumps Using My Hamster.
>
>
Need to study the form?
Look no further
>BRAZIL
>======
>
>What they will say - There'll be a carnival in Rio, Samba Superstars etc.
>
>What they won't say - That Edmundo's a nice, sensible lad.
>
>Strengths - Large breasted female supporters.
>
>Weaknesses - Large breasted male supporters.
>
>Chances - Scheidt.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Ronaldo Shares A Dentist With My Hamster.
>
>
>URUGUAY
>=======
>What they will say - And here comes the stretcher.
>
>What they won't say - And the FIFA Fair Play award goes to.
>
>Strengths - Being red blooded.
>
>Weaknesses - Getting red carded.
>
>Chances - Recoba-d.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Paolo Montero Crippled My Hamster.
>
>
>USA
>===
>
>What they will say - They once had a flukey, jammy one nil victory over the
>mighty England in 1950.
>
>What they won't say - England were lucky to get nil.
>
>Strengths - Claudio Reyna has no fear.
>
>Weaknesses - Claudio Reyna has no neck.
>
>Chances - Cram it up yo ass.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Dan Quayle Mis-Spelt 'My Hamster'.
>
>
>SOUTH KOREA
>==========
>
>What they will say - It's a dog eat dog competition.
>
>What they won't say - It's a man eat dog restaurant.
>
>Strengths - Home advantage.
>
>Weaknesses - Having a worse record in the World Cup than Scotland.
>
>Chances - Poor wee Seouls.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Delicious Meal Included My Hamster.
>
>
>CHINA
>=====
>
>What they will say - Football goes in cycles.
>
>What they won't say - Fans travel on cycles.
>
>Strengths - The ability to construct a defensive wall that's visible from
>space.
>
>Weaknesses - Once you've seen them play, you want to watch them again 30
>minutes later.
>
>Chances - Beijings, crivvens and help ma boab.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Chairman Mao Oppressed My Hamster.
>
>
>PARAGUAY
>========
>
>What they will say - Is that Henry Rollins in goal?
>
>What they won't say - Paolo Maldini obviously got his good looks from his
>father.
>
>Strengths - Defense.
>
>Weaknesses - Everything else.
>
>Chances - Arce.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Cesare Maldini Bears A Striking Resemblance To My Hamster.
>
>
>COSTA RICA
>==========
>
>What they will say - We beat Scotland in the World Cup.
>
>What they won't say - Everyone beats Scotland in the World Cup.
>
>Strengths - Coffee beans.
>
>Weaknesses - Has-beens.
>
>Chances - Costa Reeking.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Paolo Wanchope Gangled My Hamster.
>
>
>FRANCE
>======
>
>What they will say - There's a great ball from the Arsenal player to the
>Chelsea player.
>
>What they won't say - There's a great performance from the Man Utd goalie.
>
>Strengths - The early starts won't interrupt French fans in the shower.
>
>Weaknesses - In a recent friendly they only managed to beat Scotland 5-0.
>
>Chances - Tres formidable.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Jean-Marie Le Pen Received A Vote From My Hamster.
>
>
>PORTUGAL
>========
>
>What they will say - Can we check your passport, Mr Couto?
>
>What they won't say - Can you recommend a good barber, Mr Xavier?
>
>Strengths - Talented individuals.
>
>Weaknesses - Talented individuals.
>
>Chances - Wouldn't Beto on it
>
>Tabloid Hell - Abel Xavier Bleached My Hamster
>
>
>SPAIN
>=====
>
>What they will say - They make Scotland look like overachievers.
>
>What they won't say - Hey Manuel, clear a place on the mantelpiece for the
>trophy.
>
>Strengths - Getting there.
>
>Weaknesses - Staying there.
>
>Chances - Nada.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Basque Terrorists Blew Up My Hamster
>
>
>DENMARK
>=======
>
>What they will say - Danish pasting.
>
>What they won't say - If only Jan Bartram was still playing.
>
>Strengths - Inspire tabloid sub-editors to a million 'Great Danes'
>headlines.
>
>Weaknesses - Pundit appearances by a red-nosed Peter Schmeichel may affect
>your vertical hold.
>
>Chances - To Helveg and back.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Michael Laudrup Dribbled Round My Hamster.
>
>
>POLAND
>======
>
>What they will say - How do you pronounce that?
>
>What they won't say - Swierczewski, Kryszalowicz, Krzynowek.
>
>Strengths - All the players provide an excellent score in Scrabble.
>
>Weaknesses - Losing to England in qualifying matches.
>
>Chances - We came, Warsaw, were conquered.
>
>Tabloid Hell - German Troops Invaded My Hamster.
>
>
>SOUTH AFRICA
>============
>
>What they will say - Quinton Fortune plays for Man Utd.
>
>What they won't say - Tinkler? Sounds a bit pish.
>
>Strengths - They represent The Rainbow Nation.
>
>Weaknesses - There's no pot of gold at the end of it.
>
>Chances - Issa no good.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Nelson Mandela Incarcerated With My Hamster.
>
>
>SLOVENIA
>========
>
>What they will say - Flares on the trousers.
>
>What they won't say - Flair on the pitch.
>
>Strengths - You'll never forget your first time.
>
>Weaknesses - Vast capacity for vodka.
>
>Chances - They put the 'Sloven' in 'Slovenly'.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Soviet Forces Invaded My Hamster.
>
>
>TURKEY
>=====
>
>What they will say - Have you seen Midnight Express?
>
>What they won't say - Turkey have seen midday success.
>
>Strengths - The name 'Tugay' is a source of unlimited hilarity.
>
>Weaknesses - Souness will be on the telly as a pundit.
>
>Chances - Load of Istanbul.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Squalid Jail Cell For My Hamster.
>
>
>SENEGAL
>=======
>
>What they will say - Fine and Diandy.
>
>What they won't say - What a big Cisse.
>
>Strengths - Unknown quantity.
>
>Weaknesses - Unknown quantity.
>
>Chances - Don't be Daf.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Titi Camara Snapped My Hamster.
>
>
>England
>========
>
>What they will say - 1966, 1966, 1966, 1966, 1966 ,1966, 1966, 1966.
>
>What they won't say - 1970, 1974, 1978, 1982, 1986, 1990, 1994, 1998.
>
>Strengths - Foreign manager.
>
>Weaknesses - Penalty shoot-outs.
>
>Chances - Truly Dyer.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Ulrika Jonsson Shagged My Hamster.
>
>
>Sweden
>======
>
>What they will say - Dark horses.
>
>What they won't say - Dark hair.
>
>Strengths - Getting busty supporters on camera.
>
>Weaknesses - So much of a one man band they may as well strap cymbals
>to their knees.
>
>Chances - Smorgasbord-ering on the ridiculous.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Tomas Brolin Ate Four Fish Suppers, Twelve Beefburgers,
>A Vat Of Lard And My Hamster.
>
>
>Japan
>=====
>
>What they will say - Hold still...and chee-eese! Hey, nice picture!
>
>What they won't say - The Japanese players are head and shoulders
>above the opposition.
>
>Strengths - Playing the tournament during the rainy season may negate
>the need to use water cannons on unruly England fans.
>
>Weaknesses - Basically it's Hidetoshi Nakata and ten others.
>
>Chances - More chance of winning on Banzai TV.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Japanese Tourists Photographed My Hamster.
>
>
>Croatia
>=======
>
>What they will say - Emerged from the rubble of war-torn Yugoslavia.
>
>What they won't say - Hey Boksic, fancy playing Lurch in a remake of The
>Addams Family?
>
>Strengths - Shirt can be used as a makeshift chequers board.
>
>Weaknesses - Couldn't beat Scotland in the qualifiers.
>
>Chances - Load of Balkans
>
>Tabloid Hell - Robert Prosinecki Smoked My Hamster.
>
>
>Belgium
>=======
>
>What they will say - Another early exit.
>
>What they won't say - Look at these colourful, madcap supporters.
>
>Strengths - Bureaucracy.
>
>Weaknesses - Tedium.
>
>Chances - Sonck without a trace.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Plastic Bertrand Duetted With My Hamster.
>
>
>Tunisia
>=======
>
>What they will say - Pack your bags, boys - we're off to the World Cup.
>
>What they won't say - 14 pairs of socks should be enough.
>
>Strengths - Four of the squad play in Italy for Genoa.
>
>Weaknesses - Genoa are rubbish.
>
>Chances - It'll go from Badra to worse.
>
>Tabloid Hell - A Camel Took A Shine To My Hamster.
>
>
>Germany
>=======
>
>What they will say - Teutonic efficiency, For you Fritz ze World Cup is
>over, Panzer divisions etc.
>
>What they won't say - They'll be popular winners.
>
>Strengths - 5% vol.
>
>Weaknesses - Michael Owen.
>
>Chances - Load of number zwei.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Tony Schumacher Collided With My Hamster.
>
>
>Italy
>=====
>
>What they will say - Why haven't they picked Gianfranco Zola?
>
>What they won't say - Why haven't they picked Lorenzo Amoruso?
>
>Strengths - Defensive play.
>
>Weaknesses - Defending their defensive play.
>
>Chances - Vieri good.
>
>Tabloid Hell - My Mother Is Hairier Than My Hamster.
>
>
>Saudi Arabia
>============
>
>What they will say - They've had more coaches than Citylink.
>
>What they won't say - The drinks are on me.
>
>Strengths - Sobriety.
>
>Weaknesses - A preponderance of moustaches makes them likely to be mistaken
>for the Italian players' mothers.
>
>Chances - No great Sheiks.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Saudi Authorities Beheaded My Hamster.
>
>
>Russia
>======
>
>What they will say - Psst, want to buy some weapons grade uranium?
>
>What they won't say - Bring us back some duty free vodka.
>
>Strengths - Nikiforov, Karpin, Alenichev.
>
>Weaknesses - Kanchelskis.
>
>Chances - Are you taking the Yuran?
>
>Tabloid Hell - Boris Yeltsin Drank My Hamster.
>
>
>Ireland
>========
>
>What they will say - Luck of the Irish, blarney stone, if only for
>Keane...
>
>What they won't say - Shay Given does his bit for the Irish peace
>process by decommissioning his arms from making any saves.
>
>Strengths - Having the support of the fans, the pundits and the Board
>of Directors at Celtic Park.
>
>Weaknesses - A worrying lack of potato-based meals in the Far East.
>
>Chances - Duff.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Liam Brady Managed My Hamster.
>
>
>Cameroon
>========
>
>What they will say - African Champions, Olympic Champions.
>
>What they won't say - Let's roll our sleeves up lads.
>
>Strengths - Their coach is German.
>
>Weaknesses - Their defence is Jerry-built.
>
>Chances - Likely to Mboma out.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Roger Milla Did A Merry Jig Around My Hamster.
>
>
>Nigeria
>=======
>
>What they will say - Kanu.
>
>What they won't say - Nwankwu.
>
>Strengths - Julius Aghahowa's Olga Korbett impression.
>
>Weaknesses - Tragically, Nwankwo Kanu has the smallest head in world
>football.
>
>Chances - You Kanu be serious.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Taribo West Broke My Hamster.
>
>
>Argentina
>=========
>
>What they will say - Gotcha.
>
>What they won't say - Beatcha.
>
>Strengths - Goal scoring.
>
>Weaknesses - Goring, Scholes, Beckham et al.
>
>Chances - Muy Bien.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Claudio Caniggia Snorted My Hamster.
>
>
>Ecuador
>=======
>
>What they will say - The flight of the condors.
>
>What they won't say - Quito while you're ahead.
>
>Strengths -Many of their squad play abroad.
>
>Weaknesses - Unfortunately De La Cruz plays for Hibs.
>
>Chances - This is going to Hurtado.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Altitude Sickness Affected My Hamster.
>
>
>Mexico
>======
>
>What they will say - Vamos a Texas.
>
>What they won't say - Welcome to Texas.
>
>Strengths - 40% vol tequila.
>
>Weaknesses - Montezuma's revenge.
>
>Chances - Distinctly chili.
>
>Tabloid Hell - Cuauhtemoc Blanco Did Bunny Jumps Using My Hamster.
>
>
