It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, World

Double A said:

Australia is one of the founding members and strongest funders of the PPDC. This is primarily because practically everyone in Australia lives on the Pacific coastline.

Click to expand...

Australia is not a member of the PPDC but rather it is a grand duchy of the Imperium of Man!

Population distribution is as follows.



The Imperium is attempted to spread things out with efforts to increase mining and scientific research in the region of South Australia.

Our hold in Australia is especially for the uranium.



Anyway we would suggest the PPDC wake up from their illusion and realise that Australia is the rightful property of the sovereign Imperium of Man. Emperor Illiam II dictates that Australia is of the Imperium, a notion we are prepared to enforce considering your tendency of hostility towards Canada, as well as your devilish attempt to claim Panama.

As Japan is neither of the Imperium and PPDC then so be that Australia is of the Imperium but not of the PPDC, as the Imperium has Panama but the PPDC or Serbia has not Panama.

They did kind of join the PPDC by choice. If you want Queensland, you can have it, but you should be prepared to deal with the consequences of being a repressive dictatorship.

We have Panama because we're neutral, and we want to make sure there's no civilian shipping across the Pacific until the kaiju threat is completely dealt with. It is far, far, far too dangerous. Might throw another far in for good measure. Yep - far, far, far, far too dangerous. Seriously, people, do not ship across the Pacific, boats are like shrimp to the bastards, they crack them open and eat the tasty white meat inside.

As Japan is neither of the Imperium and PPDC then so be that Australia is of the Imperium but not of the PPDC, as the Imperium has Panama but the PPDC or Serbia has not Panama.

Click to expand...

This is literally the worst sentence I have ever read. Even worse than the one Sone wrote.

Double A said:

They did kind of join the PPDC by choice. If you want Queensland, you can have it, but you should be prepared to deal with the consequences of being a repressive dictatorship.

Click to expand...

We are a theological monarchy, not a dictatorship! We will hold on to ALL of Australia by divine right!

As for choice: they choose to bow before us, hence they made the choice of accepting our sovereign rule. We have the right to claim and the right of enforcing order in Australia.

We have Panama because we're neutral, and we want to make sure there's no civilian shipping across the Pacific until the kaiju threat is completely dealt with. It is far, far, far too dangerous. Might throw another far in for good measure. Yep - far, far, far, far too dangerous. Seriously, people, do not ship across the Pacific, boats are like shrimp to the bastards, they crack them open and eat the tasty white meat inside.

Click to expand...

The Imperium holds onto Panama thanks to Magnus II conquering it and its usefulness to Manx shipping. Our hold onto Panama is, like Australia, backed by divine right and your claimants to it do not have ghost chance of facing the glories of the empire that Illiam II rules in the name of glory!

We will hold on Panama, a holding we are prepared to enforce!

As for this "kaiju" theat... our navy is grand! We are among the rulers of the waves and hence our merchant navy will be protected across the Pacific, especially as we use the route through the Panama Canal to link Australia and the Isles of Man.

This is literally the worst sentence I have ever read. Even worse than the one Sone wrote.

Click to expand...

The Imperium of Man will respond by reminding the PPDC that they must kneel before Illiam II and accept our sovereign dominion over both Panama and Australia.

Ailedhoo said:

We are a theological monarchy, not a dictatorship! We will hold on to ALL of Australia by divine right!

Click to expand...

Hold on, let me just make the duliest of notes here.

As for choice: they choose to bow before us, hence they made the choice of accepting our sovereign rule. We have the right to claim and the right of enforcing order in Australia.

Click to expand...

Mmm.

The Imperium holds onto Panama thanks to Magnus II conquering it and its usefulness to Manx shipping. Our hold onto Panama is, like Australia, backed by divine right and your claimants to it do not have ghost chance of facing the glories of the empire that Illiam II rules in the name of glory!

We will hold on Panama, a holding we are prepared to enforce!

As for this "kaiju" theat... our navy is grand! We are among the rulers of the waves and hence our merchant navy will be protected across the Pacific, especially as we use the route through the Panama Canal to link Australia and the Isles of Man.

Click to expand...

If you can kill one kaiju while it is still swimming in the water with your navy, you can have Panama, and Pacific shipping will be totally unhampered due to safety issues because there won't be any.

(Thorvald, please note that this is physically impossible.)

The Imperium of Man will respond by reminding the PPDC that they must kneel before Illiam II and accept our sovereign dominion over both Panama and Australia.

Click to expand...

It actually made my eyes bleed tears.

Double A said:

If you can kill one kaiju while it is still swimming in the water with your navy, you can have Panama, and Pacific shipping will be totally unhampered due to safety issues because there won't be any.

(Thorvald, please note that this is physically impossible.)

Click to expand...

Panama is ours, whether you want it to be ours or not. We do not need to obey your "quests." However if sea creatures are that much of a problem for you I will order a fire bombing of any shore they come across and have my imperial marines seek battle. Eventually they will have to fall before the waves of cannon fodder brave imperial forces. Only the most successful of dynasties and spirits are immortal.

As for the notion that they exist: if they do then they will die. If they do not then you will have to surrender your independence to us as a apology for wasting imperial time.

The Emperor will likely set some cruisers and missile ships ready to take on these beasts from long range. Destroyers, battleships and submarines will be deployed as bodyguard while dreadnaughts will be deployed, ready to launch nerve gas pods in case it is required.

If all else fails we will have to quickly finish our Neo Manhattan project so that we can drop a atomic bomb on the creatures but in all hopes the nerve gas should kill off the beast.

Ailedhoo said:

Panama is ours, whether you want it to be ours or not. We do not need to obey your "quests." However if sea creatures are that much of a problem for you I will order a fire bombing of any shore they come across and have my imperial marines seek battle. Eventually they will have to fall before the waves of cannon fodder brave imperial forces. Only the most successful of dynasties and spirits are immortal.

As for the notion that they exist: if they do then they will die. If they do not then you will have to surrender your independence to us as a apology for wasting imperial time.

The Emperor will likely set some cruisers and missile ships ready to take on these beasts from long range. Destroyers, battleships and submarines will be deployed as bodyguard while dreadnaughts will be deployed, ready to launch nerve gas pods in case it is required.

If all else fails we will have to quickly finish our Neo Manhattan project so that we can drop a atomic bomb on the creatures but in all hopes the nerve gas should kill off the beast.

Click to expand...

Remember San Francisco? Maybe this will refresh your memory.


Link to video.

And do note that when they said "barrage of missiles," those missiles were nuclear. That's kind of why the United States doesn't exist any more.

Ever watch the first Godzilla movie? Remember how utterly useless the Japanese Defense Force was? It really is just like that, except they had lasers and Godzilla was shorter and a guy in a rubber suit. For your own goddamn safety, let us handle this crap.

All in favour of strategically ignoring everything Double A says on account of indirect powergaming (importing a race of monsters into the game world that only he can fight), say aye.

taillesskangaru said:

All in favour of strategically ignoring everything Double A says on account of indirect powergaming (importing a race of monsters into the game world that only he can fight), say aye.

Click to expand...

(I mean there's nothing stopping you from building Jaegers, it's just I already have some. The PPDC really does believe they are humanity's only hope, though.

WOAH AA IS IN CHARACTER STOP THE PRESSES

Also, from what I can tell, fighting kaiju with ships would end up exactly like that one episode of Evangelion where the Japanese(?) navy tried to fight an Angel. For those who haven't seen Evangelion, it ended reaaaaaally poorly and the Angel basically did hit and run attacks the humans had no real way to counter. Things that need air tend to do poorly against giant amphibian things when it comes to naval battles.)

taillesskangaru said:

All in favour of strategically ignoring everything Double A says on account of indirect powergaming (importing a race of monsters into the game world that only he can fight), say aye.

Click to expand...

No rules, remember?
*secretly orders the training of a few regiments of Jaegers* *just in case, iunno*

GangnamPosse108 said:

No rules, remember?
*secretly orders the training of a few regiments of Jaegers* *just in case, iunno*

Click to expand...

Pfft.

Swedish Air Force Press Release
The new SAF SF-42 Mk. IV stealth fighter has finished testing, and will very soon be incorporated into the Swedish National Air Force. Despite its reduced payload in comparison to our standard fighters, it has state-of-the-art stealth technology that dampens even the slightest hint of any radar signal, plus dampens the jet fighter's heat signal, rendering most SAM weapons ineffective. This has been a great leap forward for the Swedish National Air Force, and will save many of our pilots while flying sorties over hostile territory.

Swedish National Air Force Units....
*reads abbreviation*
Yeah...sure...sure....

taillesskangaru said:

All in favour of strategically ignoring everything Double A says on account of indirect powergaming (importing a race of monsters into the game world that only he can fight), say aye.

Click to expand...

"Aye!" went Illiam II!

Update 2 - Banhammer 40,000: Don of War
(15 August 2013)
The world cannot exist half-Serb and half-free.




News on the March

The Pan Pacific Defense Corps has withdrawn from Tierra del Fuego after negotiations with Sweden failed to advance.

Soviet Germany, despite pledging its support to the Serb campaign against the Greek terrorists, will likely draw diplomatic flak for its recent incursions into neighbouring provinces.

The Manx empire continues its manifest destiny, but it will soon feel the strain of overextension as its recent designs upon South America bring it into direct competition with the up-and-coming Chavezland. While its uncompromising stance on overseas colonies is lauded at home, amongst the locals it has led to loss of support to Sweden in India and has strengthened the call for Iraqi and Georgian independence.

Both Catalan and Serb threats turned out to be empty; the latter's hydrogen bomb was in fact a balloon filled with hydrogen gas. While the fireball looked beautiful as it fell to Earth, it was ignited too early and failed to inflict substantial damage. However, Serbia's willingness to commit atrocities against its own citizens has bolstered support for Catalan independence at home and in neighbouring provinces.

International opinion of the Society of Friends continues to plummet with word of new attacks on soldiers and civilians alike. Exact casualties are disputed, the Greeks claiming thousands of enemies which the Serbs dismiss as merely "a few hundred, tops". Moreover, with many of these terrorist attacks suicide missions, the group's prospect of long-term survival appears minimal. However, the campaign has not been totally devoid of success: increasing anger over the government's apparent unwillingness to combat the terrorists is beginning to erode Serbian authority in Greece.

1,300 FGA fighters have landed in Patras and have killed 490 of the 567 Serbian troops that guarded the city. The rest have fled. The FGA lost only 120 men. The heads of all dead Serbian troops have been cut off and have formed a pyramid in the center of Patras, in order to get a clear message to the Serbs. Either leave Greece or die. The FGA then blown up all government buildings and banks and have set fire to the entirety of the city. They have also been joined by 3,000 young Greek men from Patras who decided to join the patriotic war.

After 7 hours, the FGA fighters left Patras, just as Serbian troops were arriving. The FGA repeated the same success, on a smaller level, in Sparta, were 700 FGA fighters took over the city and set it on fire, killing 200 Serbs. Those victories have increased FGA prestige and have persuaded thousands of young Greeks to join the FGA.

Operation 'Thunderfall':

9,000 FGA fighters have begun the largest FGA operation in the great Patriotic War. The operation 'Thunderfall' has one aim: Take over Thebes and hold it from the Serbians. Instead of just hit and run, this time the FGA will stand it's ground. Thebes was taken over with easy, with 300 Greek and 1,200 Serbian deaths.

The FGA fighters have fortified the city and gained the support of the Greeks in Thebes. 5,000 Theban volunteers joined the FGA. After a few hours, 20,000 Serbian troops moved against Thebes, but they were all pushed back, mainly thanks to the fortifications. Both Greeks and Serbs fought with courage and bravery. But the Greeks won.

The FGA managed to hold Thebes for more than three weeks, but after 90,000 Serbs started besieging the city, the FGA fighters had to blown up the entirety of the city and retreat back to their bases. While the FGA failed to keep the city, it gave much experiance to the FGA fighters, showed that the FGA can hold a city for long time and increased the FGA's prestige. Not to say that by the end of the operation, the FGA had gained 10,000 new fighters from Thebans.

The Catalan Independence Movement has declared a full uprising in Catalonia. With a third of the 7 million population actively working for it, with a militia of about 350,000 after drafting several dozen thousand reinforcements from neighbouring regions cadres and uncountable spies and loyal elements deep within the Srjb command and administration structures.

From the more sparsely inhabired and mountainous areas of the East and the North, already under control of the shadow Catalan administration, a full scale offensive has been mounted along the Ebro, Llobregat and Ter hydrographic areas towards the coast. The main agricultural regions of Vic and Lleida have fallen without a fight, and the Srjb supply road along the coast has been cut at the Pyrenees and the Ebro already. Surprise assaults on the Olot and Sort military Srjb quarters have provided a Division's worth of armoured vehicles.

The main city of Girona has been encircled, and troops are occupying the Empordanese rocky coast in full, with a heavy concentration of forces falling on Tarragona from the Southwest and the Northwest. All infiltrated administrations have been ordered to switch sides immediately, and a sabotage campaign has begun around Barcelona to isolate its troops and disable them from stopping the advance in the Llobregat valley, which will cut them from Tarragona.

Cadres are formed by illtrained and underequipped irregulars, fighting with great bravery for their lands and their freedom, and that is why Free Catalonia appeals to the world for aid against the evil Sbrjs, and specifically requests the North American nations to provide armoured and heavy equipment. This will allow for the establishment of an actual, formal army, and for protracted campaigns of conventional warfare against the Empire, which will force them to divert large numbers of troops, thus helping their American own efforts.

The Hippy Federation of Soviet Germany wishes to sign a 12-updates long non-aggression pact with Catalonia.

UDAY SENDS A MESSAGE TO THE OPPRESSIVE INFIDELS!

Link to video.

Catalonia notes the lack of ability of Germany to strike it and that Catalonia itself is incapable of launching any offensives beyond the Pyrenees, the Ebro River of the Iberian Levant. We thus will consider to sign this agreement if supplies and equipment are at the very least send on a lease to the Port of Palamos. Whenever Barcelona and Tarragona are liberated, all shipments should be sent there.