- Joined
- Oct 5, 2001
- Messages
- 30,080
NEW WORDS FOR 2002
Essential additions to the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
BUREATWAT - normally self-expanatory. A Bureautw*t is easily recognised by his or her distinctive call -'I'm sorry the budget won't run to that'. Especially noted for their complusion to execute profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant policy, long after the raison d'être for the
policy has long been superceded. Bureau***** often ally them themselves to SEAGULL MANAGERS see below.
SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ARSMOSIS
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. This phenomena is often instrumental in the creation of a SEAGULL MANAGER (see above)
SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. The natural habitat of the BUREAUTWAT (see above)
404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
And some for the domestic front:
SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
SWIPEOUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
And equally applicable to either:
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ONOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake and that it's irretrievable.
Essential additions to the workplace vocabulary:
BLAMESTORMING
Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
BUREATWAT - normally self-expanatory. A Bureautw*t is easily recognised by his or her distinctive call -'I'm sorry the budget won't run to that'. Especially noted for their complusion to execute profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant policy, long after the raison d'être for the
policy has long been superceded. Bureau***** often ally them themselves to SEAGULL MANAGERS see below.
SEAGULL MANAGER
A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
ARSMOSIS
The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. This phenomena is often instrumental in the creation of a SEAGULL MANAGER (see above)
SALMON DAY
The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.
STRESS PUPPY
A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.
XEROX SUBSIDY
Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.
ADMINISPHERE
The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. The natural habitat of the BUREAUTWAT (see above)
404
Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
And some for the domestic front:
SITCOMs
Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
SWIPEOUT
An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
IRRITAINMENT
Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them.
And equally applicable to either:
PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
ONOSECOND
That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake and that it's irretrievable.
