1. This is not ICS. This may be a 'dense build', but certainly is not ICS. A dense build (8-12 tiles/city) is a more preferable approach than ICS (7 or less tiles/city), IMO, because you get to enjoy more of the game by building some improvements and it has a longer life span (for ICS you want the game pretty well under control or won during the middle ages, for a dense build you can stay competitive pretty late in the game). I see some spots where there are tiles that will never be used by any city.
Can any city use that cow southwest of Hieraconpolis?
2. More workers! From what I can see, you have 20 cities, and I can only see 2 workers. With more workers, you will have more roads (for commerce), more irrigation (growth), and more shields (build more stuff and faster). With more terrain improvements done, several of those cities would not be 1 shield/turn cities.
3. Even in despotism, irrigating wheat helps (by Thebes). In most situations irrigating a bonus resource is better than mining (especially when it comes to settler production). Very high food/low shield locations are sometimes an exception (floodplain cities, since you have to irrigate the floodplain tiles, then mining wheat when possible may be needed).
3 (a). Probably explains the above, but don't use automated workers if you are. It's understandable if you have 75-100+ workers, but not so early in the game and when you have so few workers. Look at Lisht. There are normal/bonus grassland tiles that have been irrigated, yet the cow nearby is ignored.