Am I a bad person?

[RomeoTheCat]

This guy I know has not had a job for as long as I have known him. He was living with his girlfriend for about 10 years.

His girlfriend finally kicked him out & he didn't have a place to stay so I put him up in the guest bedroom I have here.

I was thinking I was going to help a friend out until he got on his feet & started to make it on his own.

So every day I saw the same thing...
I wake up & go to work & he gets on my computer to play games. I get home from work & he is playing games on my computer.

He eats the pizza I buy & smokes the cigarettes I buy and uses the water & electricity I pay for.

And he does nothing toward getting a job.

I got fed up & kicked him out. He had no place to go but I could not stand it any longer.

So now he is homeless.
I feel bad for kicking him to the curb but jeeze...
I can't really care about someone that does not care about himself.

 

[LightFang]

Everybody is sinful.

But God can forgive you.

So don't worry.

 

[Yeekim]

No.
Seeing it unlikely for anyone to miss the guy and start looking for him, a bad person would have put him through meat grinder and shoved into fridge to store food for coming depression.

 

[Hygro]

that guy needs mental or physical medical help

 

[DNK]

Well, did you at least talk to him about it beforehand or did you make an impulsive judgment?

It's also nice to keep in mind that the job market isn't exactly hot right now and hasn't been for a while. Still, he should at least be looking rather than playing games, or learning something. People need tough love like that, and getting kicked out on his ass might work well in the long term. Or he might just turn into a permabum. I've been that way a bit myself when given the opportunity at times, not proud of it. From personal experience, you've got to put reasonable pressure on him and give him a clear framework for how it's going to go down, rather than just penning it up and exploding randomly. I don't know how you did it, though.

 

[illram]

I don't know man, that's a tough one. If you are really his friend your objective should be helping him out. If kicking him to the curb without anything else is the kind of thing that might get his ass in gear, OK. You are the best judge of that. If not, I don't know... maybe get in touch with his family or something? I don't know how well you know this dude.

It sounds like he has some other issues besides pure laziness, particularly if he just broke up with his girlfriend and got kicked out. Like depression. Homelessness and depression do not really mix well together.

 

[Sharwood]

No, you are not a bad person. I'd have kicked him out a lot earlier. Hell, I'd have probably kicked him out within a day or two, if he wasn't at least trying to find a job or place to live. And honestly, I'd probably have beat the crap out of him on top of everything else. So screw him, get on with your life, and laugh when you see him eating from your garbage.

 

[RomeoTheCat]

Well, did you at least talk to him about it beforehand or did you make an impulsive judgment?

Yes. Every day. My girlfriend did as well (She sure as hell didn't want him here).
Went like this...

"Dude. You thinking of looking for a job today?"
"Just a sec...I'm going to kill these Zergs."

I put him up for 6 months. Don't know what more is expected.

 

[Sharwood]

Yes. Every day. My girlfriend did as well (She sure as hell didn't want him here).
Went like this...

"Dude. You thinking of looking for a job today?"
"Just a sec...I'm going to kill these Zergs."

I put him up for 6 months. Don't know what more is expected.

6 MONTHS!!!

Dude, lazy piece of filth like that, I probably would've killed him. No way you can be a bad person after putting up with that crap for so long.

 

[LightFang]

6 MONTHS!!!

Dude, lazy piece of filth like that, I probably would've killed him. No way you can be a bad person after putting up with that crap for so long.

Overkill much?

I would have just kicked him out after warning him at least twice. Maybe after a month.

 

[Sharwood]

Overkill much?

I would have just kicked him out after warning him at least twice. Maybe after a month.

Unlike the OP, I am a bad person. But I woldn't have let him stay even a week without looking for a job, let alone 6 months, so it's a moot point.

 

[philippe]

doesn't he has any family?

 

[smoochy]

you are not a bad person at all, you are a goodie , I would not offer him to stay at my place at all. I dont need friends who cant take care of them selfs.
Those people dont deserve to be helped.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

This guy I know has not had a job for as long as I have known him. He was living with his girlfriend for about 10 years.

His girlfriend finally kicked him out & he didn't have a place to stay so I put him up in the guest bedroom I have here.

I was thinking I was going to help a friend out until he got on his feet & started to make it on his own.

So every day I saw the same thing...
I wake up & go to work & he gets on my computer to play games. I get home from work & he is playing games on my computer.

He eats the pizza I buy & smokes the cigarettes I buy and uses the water & electricity I pay for.

And he does nothing toward getting a job.

I got fed up & kicked him out. He had no place to go but I could not stand it any longer.

So now he is homeless.
I feel bad for kicking him to the curb but jeeze...
I can't really care about someone that does not care about himself.

He's the bad person for taking advantage of you. You're a good person for not putting up with it any more.

As long as he was being taken care for I don't think he realises what it means to be independent. Only way to learn is face the consequences of his decisions. Now he's going to have to, or find another to leech off. I'm guessing he will try the latter first. Sometimes people have to hit rockbottom to chance their ways. Looks like he's that sort of guy.

And if he still doesn't get it, there's no need for you to be dragged down with him.

 

[Agent327]

I'm afraid some people just want to be bums.

My GF has a habit of taking in needy people, which, in the end, always need to be kicked out again. Very annoying.

Wouldn't give it a second thought. People not caring for themselves are basically just asking for whatever happens to them. (I wouldn't take them in either, sorry.)

 

[Gustave5436]

Laziness to the point that you cannot even support yourself is abnormal and maladaptive. Therefore, I must suspect that mental disorder is involved in at least some cases of people "wanting" to become homeless, and thus believe that these people should not be resented, but assisted, with the intent that they become functioning members of society.

 

[Agent327]

There are several, neigh, multiple programs to that end - which basically provide jobs to a lot of people, none of them homeless.

 

[Ziggy Stardust]

Laziness to the point that you cannot even support yourself is abnormal and maladaptive. Therefore, I must suspect that mental disorder is involved in at least some cases of people "wanting" to become homeless, and thus believe that these people should not be resented, but assisted, with the intent that they become functioning members of society.

Provided these people want to be helped. For that they have to recognise there is something wrong.

 

[El_Machinae]

Why didn't you just sell his organs? Give him an internet connection in a tubfull of ice, and just sell him piecemeal.

 

[Smidlee]

....

So now he is homeless.
I feel bad for kicking him to the curb but jeeze...
I can't really care about someone that does not care about himself.

Ever heard of tough love? Kicking a friend out is the tough part but it's necessary since the root of his problem is not being homeless but being lazy and irresponsible. Our economy is taking a huge hit because it rewarded irresponsible behavior.