Best simpsons lines

[Ashoka]

Flanders (as substitute school principal, over PA system): "Let's thank God for this lovely day."

Superintendent Chalmers: "God...did I hear God? Was that a prayer in a public school? God has absolutely no place in the American school system, just like facts have absolutely no place in organized religion."

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(MOST obscure.....)

Burns, recounting how much he enjoyed walking around Springfield after he constructed the giant sun-blocking disk...

"There I was, enjoying myself, wallowing in my own crepusculence..."

(You might need to look it up..it doesn't mean what you probably think it does...that's why it's so good!)


Ashoka

 

[Warlord56]

Homer:Just to get things straight, I thought the cop was a prostitute

 

[CornMaster]

Mr. Burns in the sun blocker episode:

"Ever since the begining of time...Man has tried to destroy the sun."

When Homer was Paul Bunon:

"Homer: When I'm crushing and killing you, you hate me, but suddenly when I can save your life, I'm Mr. Popular.
Lenny: Yep, that's pretty much it.
Homer: Woohoo! I'm Mr. Popular! Hehehehehehe!"

When Homer was killing all the Buffalo's:

"Homer: Cleaning my gun with the safety off, safety off, safety off, cleaning my gun with the... :gun shoots, kills a Buffalo:
Lisa: Dad, you just killed a poor defenceless Buffalo!
Homer: A poor delicious Buffalo! He'll be dinner for the whole wagon train! :he shoots again:
Lisa: Why'd you kill another one?
Homer: Dessert!"

In the Safari Episode:

"Agnes: And you, start over. I want everything in one bag.
Pimple Faced Kid: Yes, ma'am!
Agnes: But I don't want the bag to be heavy.
Pimple Faced Kid: I don't think that's possible!
Agnes: What are you, the possible police? Just do it!
Homer: Hurry up, I can't stand here jabbing you all day!
Bag Boy: Please, ow, stop, ow! Bag boys have feeling too, you know!
Homer: No you don't!"

And many more at: http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml

 

[CornMaster]

More I just picked off that site:

"Homer: :doing impersonations:
[Homer] Hello Marge
[Marge] Hi Homey!
[Homer] Sign this please!
[Marge] You're the boss!
[Child] Daddy! Ask the man for some candy!
[Homer] No no, no candy for you!
[Child] Well at least get some candy for yourself!
[Homer] Hehehe... kids.
Guy: Here's your candy!
Homer: So long, sucker!
Guy: Uuh, sir, your life savings?
Homer: Uuh, yes. I see that it's in bill form. Excellent."

"Lady: For automated stock prices, please state the company name.
Homer: Animotion.
Lady: Animotion. Up one and one half.
Homer: Yahoo!
Lady: Yahoo! Up six and a quarter.
Homer: Huh, what is this crap?
Lady: Fox Broadcasting. Down eight."

"Kent Brockman: Animotion is up an eighth... after plunging seventy five points this morning!
Homer: Oh, I hope plunging means up, and seventy five means two hundred!
Kent Brockman: The firm declared super-dooper bankruptcy, which is terrible news for the company's one stockholder, Homer Simpson"

"Homer: I lost our life savings in the stock market. Now lets move onto the real issue, Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup!
Lisa: Well maybe if mom didn't make such dry waffles! There, I said it!
Marge: Well maybe if you ate some meat you'd have a natural lubricant. "

When they found a crayon in Homer's brain:

"Scientist: We could remove the crayon for you! It could vastly increase your brain power! Or it could possibly kill you.
Homer: Hmm... increase my killing power eh?"

Same Episode:

"Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentaly proved there's no god.
Flanders: We'll just see about tha.. oh.. maybe he made a mistake? Nope... it's airtight."

"Nelson: Question!
Homer: Yes Nelson
Nelson: A moron says what.
Homer: Not being a moron, I wouldn't know, however :mumbles:
Nelson: What?
Homer: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you your moron!"

"Marge: Sweetheart, a missing crayon could be anywhere!
Homer: :bursts through window: Who wants lottery tickets!
Marge: Okay, it's in his brain."

"Lisa: Dad, how could you, we were connecting in such a meaningful way.
Homer: We were what what in the what what?
Lisa: :sigh:
Homer: Yeah, which reminds me, I need a sandwich."