Blonde Jokes

vladmir_illych_lenin · Jul 11, 2001

There's a convention in a stadium to prove that blonde people aren't dumb. There are 30,000 blondes there.

Announcer: Okay. May I have a volunteer?

A blonde comes down

Announcer: What's 1+1?

Blonde: Uhhhhhh....3?

Announcer: Wrong!

The crowd: Booo! Let her try again! Let her try again! Let her try again!

Announcer: Okay, what's 2+2?

Blonde: uhhhhh...5?

The Crowd: Booo! Let her try again! Let her try again! Let her try again!

Announcer: Okay, what's 3+3?

Blonde: Uhhh..6?

The Crowd: Booo! Let her try again! Let her try again! Let her try again!

Brad · Jul 12, 2001

This topic is just to tempting.... I did my gr.9 speach on blond jokes.
I hadn't heard that one.
What do you call 40 blonds in a freezer...... Frosted flakes.

How do you drownd a blond...... Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

I have a lot... I won't do them all now.

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Even though stuff happens that we don't plan, be a man... use you hand.
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Kefka · Jul 12, 2001

Everybody has a lot of Blonde jokes I mean this topic could go on for months

what is the difference bettween a blonde and an Ironing board?.........the blonde's legs are easier to open.

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<IMG SRC="http://www.grworld.com/vanillacubesgames/files/kefka.gif" border=0>"Why Create things when you know they must be destroyed!"
"I will Create A monument to nothingness!"

GenghisK · Jul 12, 2001

What does a blonde ask after making love?
"Oh so you're all in the same football team? Great!"

animepornstar · Jul 12, 2001

-how does the blonde know that her sister has her period?
-her father´s cock tastes blood.

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Duke of Marlbrough · Jul 12, 2001

I was going to post a joke also, but after reading anime's submission, I have to go throw up.

Ok.....

How can you tell if someone is a natural blonde?

Ask them to spell 'blonde'.

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I always wanted to be a professional procrastinator, but I just never got around to it.

Brad · Jul 13, 2001

animepornstar... dude that is just nasty... let's try and keep them a little bit more tastful... Um excuse the bad pun

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Silence Fills the Nothingness......NERRRR!

Even though stuff happens that we don't plan, be a man... use you hand.

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GenghisK · Jul 13, 2001

Ok, what's a Tunisian virgin blonde?
A blonde that runs faster than her father

Mmm. Sorry sorry.

Perhaps this one:
What's an intelligent blonde?
A labrador...

What does a blonde put on her ears to attract men?
Her knees!

What's the difference between a blonde and boxing gloves.
There's room for only 5 fingers in a boxing glove...

GenghisK · Jul 13, 2001

A last classic one:

A woman visiting her doctor.
_ doctor, all my body hurts me since yesterday.
_ really?
_ yeah look.
She touches her arm and says:
_AAAAH it hurts.
Then touches her breast and yells:
_ Ouch, here too, etc...
After having touched every inches of her body and shouting, the doctor asked:
_ are you a real blonde
_ yes doctor, why?
_ ok I see. You have broken your finger...

Hem, sorry, if there are blondes reading that. But I don't think they can read though

DvR · Jul 13, 2001

Here's some more:

What is a blonde with two brain cells??
- pregnant

In an elementary school, there are three girls.. a brunette, a red haired, and a blonde..
Which of them has the biggest breasts?
- The blonde, she's 23 years old.

starlifter · Jul 14, 2001

I was going to post a joke also, but after reading anime's submission, I have to go throw up.

Yup, that was sick.

Q: How do you know the blonde was doing word processing at the computer?

A: There's whiteout on the screen!

Duke of Marlbrough · Jul 31, 2001

Ok, my wife found a slew of jokes and wanted me to share some with you. I'll try to do them in themes.

Sexual:
Why does a blonde wear panties?
To keep her ankles warm.

What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone has been in a 747.

Why did the blonde have a bruised belly-button?
Her boyfriend was blonde too.

How do you give a blonde more headroom?
Adjust the steering wheel.

What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
You can't get a blonde in a bowling ball.

What do you call a virgin blonde?
A newborn.

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A 747 only goes down occassionally.

Why did the blonde have a square chest?
She didn't realize that she was suppose to take the tissues out of the box.

What does a blonde say in the morning?
Who are you guys?

Comming soon..... Stupid blonde jokes.....

G-Man · Sep 8, 2001

Originally posted by starlifter:
Q: How do you know the blonde was doing word processing at the computer?

A: There's whiteout on the screen![/B]

How do you know another blonde was using that computer?
There are things writen on the whiteout

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Are you talking to me?

Cunobelin Of Hippo · Sep 8, 2001

Originally posted by G-Man:
How do you know another blonde was using that computer?

The joystick is wet.

Classic.

scorch · Sep 9, 2001

Originally posted by GenghisK:
A last classic one:

A woman visiting her doctor.
_ doctor, all my body hurts me since yesterday.
_ really?
_ yeah look.
She touches her arm and says:
_AAAAH it hurts.
Then touches her breast and yells:
_ Ouch, here too, etc...
After having touched every inches of her body and shouting, the doctor asked:
_ are you a real blonde
_ yes doctor, why?
_ ok I see. You have broken your finger...

Hem, sorry, if there are blondes reading that. But I don't think they can read though <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/biggrin.gif" border=0>

dude... how does that work? Or are u meaning that the blonde was touching herself, rather than the docter which was how i understood it.

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starlifter · Sep 9, 2001

LOL, she (the blonde) has a broken finger. With the broken finger, she touches places on her body, and naturally it hurts (because her FINGER is broken!). But being a stupid blonde, she thinks it's her body that hurts, when in fact the hurt is due to the borken finger

.

How do you know another blonde was using that computer? There are things writen on the whiteout

The joystick is wet. Classic.

Good ones!

Juize · Sep 9, 2001

Orig. posted by Cunobelin Of Hippo:
The joystick is wet.<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/lol.gif" border=0> Classic.

Orig. posted by animepornstar:
-how does the blonde know that her sister has her period?
-her father´s cock tastes blood.

Hey, listen, don't tell jokes like that, here are 14-year old children! (like me)
But ooops, I heard almost identical jokes from Max Payne & www.panssarivau.nu, so Never Mind...

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jc011 · Sep 10, 2001

and me too! but thats okay, im mature enough

funny stuff here,
what did the blonde say to the guy that was doing well? keep it up!

scorch · Sep 10, 2001

Originally posted by starlifter: LOL, she (the blonde) has a broken finger. With the broken finger, she touches places on her body, and naturally it hurts (because her FINGER is broken!). But being a stupid blonde, she thinks it's her body that hurts, when in fact the hurt is due to the borken finger

.

 

Good ones!

<hr></blockquote>

yeah i get the joke, i thought the guy that posted it didn't

Lefty Scaevola · Sep 10, 2001

Well,...being an old wargamer, my favorites is still:

What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

RUN! She has a grenade in her mouth! <img src="eek.gif" border="0">

Blonde Jokes

King

Wankerdoodle

Your local Schizophrenic

...

Deity

The Quiet Moderator

Wankerdoodle

...

...

DvR

Guest

Deity

The Quiet Moderator

G-Man

Guest

Site Pachyderm

Legalize Pot

Deity

Juize

Guest

jc011

Guest

Legalize Pot

Illuminatus

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