Conspiracy theories!

[Pyrite]

Okay, so take a standing conspiracy theory that some people think is true, and make it crazier.

Alright, know how the shuttle landing in 1969 was faked? Well I'll tell you why it was faked. It wasn't that we couldn't go to the moon man, we've BEEN to the moon. We were there in the forties man. Alright so we went up there to plant a death ray (this is what is known popularily as an atomic bomb, but really it was a death ray) and so we go up there and build our lunar base and it had to be a secret and crap. Anyway, when we go up there, after we death ray the japanese, there are aliens everywhere. They totally destroy everything and like, we just can't go back there. So anyway, when the space program starts to almost go to the moon a robot from the moon warns the president that the aliens are still there, and they're involved in a civil war with the robots (that is the lunar lander and crap that became sentient and helped defeat the americans) and then like stalin goes up there cos he was really still alive to find lenin because lenin was an alien and like he totally gets owned, so the usa is like holy crap man this is crap we gotta do something about htis crap so they fake it all because t hey're like well we spent all this money and we're just going to shoot it into the ocean so it has to look real and like, that's what happened, we just shot rockets into the ocean. Also the aliens made the mayan calendar and their invasion is scheduled for 2012.

Make it as insane as possible, use insane grammar.

 

[Dr. Yoshi]

OK, so you know how Al Gore invented the Internet, right? Well he didn't! It was actually invented by da Vinci in 1384. He then, like, invented a time machine, which the Man says is a helicopter, and time-traveled to the future where he left the plans for the Internet on Al Gore's desk as he was getting a hot dog from a vendor out on the street who looks like he could be a clone of Adolf Hitler and in fact is. Then da Vinci's time ran out and he had to go back. When he returned his time machine blew up cuz it was made of wood and stuff. Da Vinci just shrugged and then drew up schematics for a submachine gun which the Man tells us is a drawing of the male body in various poses.

 

[Fox Mccloud]

TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTORZ NOWWWWWWWW!!!111

The alienz ar using the internet to spy on us!!!! The alienz ar all liek "Holy Crap, these earth peoplz ar week!!!111 Let's invade soon!!!" They ar also using the computerz' energy to power their space shipz, so we ar givin dem the power to kill us. Their invasion will hapen much sooner then we expect cuz we're so stoopid we use computorz!!11

Also, don't wach tv. They can broadcast their deth rayz to every home, using our tvz.

 

[The Person]

U all know liek Norway is liek planning to take ovah teh world right???? Yes its liek true!!!! They liek have this secret force of Giant Deth Robos which will liek pwnzor us all!!!! Those liek dam Norwegians have liek this secret base on Mars where they are liek churning out these monsters in the liek millions!!!! Then theyll liek send their Robos to Earth to liek pwnzor us!!!! But luckily teh terrorists liek know about this and are liek prepareing to defend our planet from teh liek evil Norwegian Giant Deth Robos!!!! But Bush liek knows about this threat and hes liek supporting teh Norwegians!!! Thats why hes liek wageing this war on terror!!!! Liek stop Bush!!!! Liek go Bin Laden!!!! Dont liek let teh Norwegians liek succedd in their liek evol plan to take ovah teh world!!!!

 

[mitsho]

America is guilty for everything!

Spoiler :

That was the most absurd conspiracy theory that I could think of

 

[Pyrite]

Giant Deth Robos which will liek pwnzor

Impossible. Only the japanese can build robots didn't you take history class duh

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

A guy in my class at school insists that China and Russia have perfected weather control and are using it to attack the US with hurricanes

 

[Fox Mccloud]

A guy in my class at school insists that China and Russia have perfected weather control and are using it to attack the US with hurricanes

d00d, that guy is stoopid, cuz we al no that God supportz da Terororiztz. Ya, so heee giv da wethr control thing to Bin Laden, and Saddam, and liek all teh evol peepzlz to pwn satin'z faevorrite country, teh USA

 

[Yuri2356]

Remember how the Knights templar lost all that gold back in the 1500s? The truth is that their ship was attacked by the gypsies out at sea before t could get to the Stargate in antarctica and use to transport the Holy grail to the Pegasus galaxy, where they'd use it to stabilize the zero-point-reactor and produce infinate power with which to conquer the Gypsies once and for all. And who are the gypsies working for? No less than the French monarchy, which has been secretly plotting to destroy the English language ever since 942 AD when the french first seized the Holy Gail from the castle Auuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh in England. They lost it to the Templars later on, and have been fighting to regain it ever since. Once they have it, they'll use to to produce subliminal messages that spread the way of the Franco-Commie-Gypsy revolution across the world on the backs of video game manuals. The gypsies targeted the Civilization series as their means of spreading the word back in '98 after they placed one of their evil curses on a copy of Civ II Test of Time, and now they've been planting agnets in Firaxis to use Civ IV as their new propagand engine. Within a month of the game's release, we'll all be tearing down the walls of our governments and bowing before theb people's Gypsy revolution! BEWARE!

 

[Fox Mccloud]

Giant Deth Robos which will liek pwnzor

Impossible. Only the japanese can build robots didn't you take history class duh

But the Norwegians have it and it's a SECRET!!

 

[admiral-bell]

no, japan is outsourcing robot production to norway

 

[Dr. Yoshi]

A guy in my class at school insists that China and Russia have perfected weather control and are using it to attack the US with hurricanes

He's wrong! It's the Man I tell you, the Man!

 

[Ultima Dragoon]

I can tell you, can't I?

My hands in the toaster.

The blender's been talking to me.

The lego is moving. They're after me.

The birds are battering the windows.

Atlantis has risen, and now controls the USA.

 

[WildWeazel]

I have so many cool conspiracy theories. I'll have to decide which one is the best. Then I'll post it.

*digs through blog archives*

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Bah. Amatuers. I have incontrovertible proof that all existence is merely a construct that my mind manufactured to justify its own existence. That means that despite what you think, you don't actually exist at all. You're just a figment of my imagination.

 

[WildWeazel]

You can't claim me, I'm a figment of my OWN imagination! (try to wrap your brain around that one )


the penguins are coming.....

 

[Perfection]

Giant Deth Robos which will liek pwnzor

Impossible. Only the japanese can build robots didn't you take history class duh

Hey dumbo, read the link in my sig!




Did you know that god planted all that evidence of evolution just to confuse peope so they would go to hell?

 

[trader/warrior]

stay out of Delaware

 

[The Person]

no, japan is outsourcing robot production to norway

Liek wrong!!!! The japs r liek outsourcing teh robo production to norway while the norwegians r liek outsourcing teh robo production to mars!!!! Post ur email and ill liek put u on a list of ppl against teh war on terror so we can liek stop those vikings be4 its 2 late!!!!

 

[nonconformist]

Liek Elvis iz still alive, lol!
They faked his death, so he could become Adolf Hitler! No kidding! He started WWII, lolzors.
Then when the war was lost (lol), he became Stalin, cos Stalin pwns Churchill's ass.
Then Patton dies. I was sad.