The Save DoctT_101D_A Metaphor too far!
Sabutai: Take the ship out of the asteroid field.
Admiral Timur: Yes, sir!
<Sabutai bows before a holographic projector. The transmission comes in: It is Sabutais dark master, The Emperor>
Emperor Temujin: Rise, my friend
Sabutai: Yes, my master.
Emperor: I sense that something is amiss. What is it, my apprentice?
Sabutai: The war against the rebels goes
poorly, my master.
Emperor: Explain.
Sabutai: Our Legions to the south have all but been wiped out. The Byzantine Empire has taken advantage of our assault to expand its control to the point where consolidating our territory would require war with them, something that we could only do successfully after decades of buildup, if then. The Magyar hordes are marching through our lands at will, and we have nothing to stop them. Of our great armies, only one of slave horsemen remains combat effective. We have no real production base, and the empire of the White Huns is crippled by corruption.
Emperor: I am
displeased.
Sabutai: All is not lost, my master. If we could perhaps turn some of the other rebels to our side, they could be powerful allies
Emperor: They shall come to you, my friend.
Sabutai: Master?
Emperor: I find you lack of faith disturbing. Continue your operations.
Sabutai: Yes, my lord.
Preturn: Diplo check-The Bulgars, and the most imminent threat, the Magyars, refuse to talk. The Turks will give three or so techs for peace as well as significant amounts of gold and gpt. France wants tribute for peace, the same with the Abassids. Sign a peace treaty with the Turks, they give us 257 gold, 15 gpt, Medicine, Polearms, the Middle Class, and Seamanship. 200 gold to Sweden for peace. 150 Gold, the Middle class, and Peace get us Improved Siege Craft from the Danes. 40 gold gets us peace with France (We do NOT need any more civs dogpiling us!) Whip Postal Stations in Bonn, Rjazan, and New Medina, and a Town Hall in Kazan. I will be mobilizing next turn, gotta get these peaceful improvements built before hand. Only city in imminent danger is Aydin, with a regular Magyar sword. I wake up the vassal cav and attack him, losing 2 hp but winning and promoting to Veteran.
IBT: 44 Magyar Spears, swords, and archers surround the totally undefended city of Konya.
Turn 1: Medieval Combat gets us peace and 15 gold (all they had) from the Magyars. While they will MDI now, hopefully theyll go after someone else. Fire all specialists in the now-non resisting northern cities, forcing me to raise science to 10% but actually allowing some growth and hopefully production. Bulgars continue to ignore our envoy; they do not appear to be a threat anyway. I try and get an ROP with the Byzantines so I could send our army and, uh, two Keshiks down to help but we do not have an embassy with them, and per the variant rules cannot establish one. With nothing better to do, our army will be sent to attack Great Bulgar. Mobilize for war, mass switch over from temples and post offices to barracks and pikemen. Production up north remains negligible; down south is underdeveloped but we will get a few pikes on-line fairly soon. Merv hits 17 spt while mobilized. We have eight workers trapped behind both Turkish and Byzantine lines, in Ankara. The city has no garrison or culture. I believe that I can get them south into our territory near Riza, however. One positive aspect of our current situation is that turns are a lot shorter than they used to be 
IBT: Rurik (Kievan Rus) extorts horses from us. I have no choice but give in to his demands; he will annihilate us. The Abbassids move a catapult and a regular Swiss Pike to lay siege to Hattin. Ascalon flips and take a couple of units with it.
Turn 2: Merv finishes its assassin, starts on pikes. It will be a three-turn pike factory for the foreseeable future; at 17 spt it is wasting huge amounts of shields but we need defenders critically. Spot two Bulgar Swordsmen, INCLUDING ONE CARRYING A RELIC moving against Konya, which is till guarded only by a catapult. Vassal cav down south runs into at least three assassins while trying to reinforce Hattin. Vassal cav kill two; but there is at least one more on the road to Hattin. The vassal cavalry in Hattin faces a dilemma; attack the defense-5 Swiss pikeman, as well as possibly losing a hp to defensive bombard, or defending against a three-attack unit. I decide to leave it fortified. A pikman of our own is on the way, but the spy blockade may or may not delay him even further. Upgrade two of the spears in Merv to pikes.
IBT: Kazan falls to Ansar Warriors, and is quickly reinforced by Swiss Mercs. The Swiss Pike outside Hattin does not attack, but an Assassin does. The vassal cav somehow manages to defeat the Mameluke assassins, going down to 2 hp. New Medina Riots. Bulgars swords advance en masse near Konya, killing a vassal cav that was moving to reinforce the city. The vassal cav kills one sword and redlines another before falling, however. 13 Bulgar units surround Konya now.
Turn 3: The Abassids have our pathetic remnants of an army down south are cut off due to the Abbassid control of the road network and their spear and pikes garrisoning key positions. Two 2/4-vet vassal cavs cut their way out of the trap, trying to escape to New Medina, which is defended by a single Assassin. The Assassin does a quick recon run, and doesnt spot any Assassins. I have pikes on the way to N. Medina; if it can hold out for a turn or two more we may be able to secure it permanently. Hattin is probably doomed, as the vet pike moving to reinforce it got cut off by an Abassid Swiss Mercenary. I am fairly confident that we can hold New Damascus and N. Mosul. Abandon Konya; the plan is to try and take Great Bulgar before the Bulgar hordes regroup and move north. Army whacks a Bulgarian spear on the road to Great Bulgar. Elite Keskik wastes a Bulgar sword in the city, enslaving a VC. VC attacks but is forced to retreat.
IBT: New Medina falls to the Mameluke Ansars. More catapults and Swiss Mercs move up to besiege Hattin. The Pike that was to reinforce Hatting falls to Assassins. The two cities spit out two badly needed Keshiks. Theodora kicks out our poor slaves.
Turn 4: Great Bulgar falls to our armies and Keshiks. The Bulgars will now accept peace, straight up now. Sign it. Our only hope down south is to hold the line at New Damascus and New Mosul.
IBT: Denzili flips to the Turks. One VC lost. The Magyar SoDs continue whaling on the Turks. Turks build an embassy with us; great.
Turn 5: All quiet on the northern front. Denzili will probably fall to the Magyars soon. As a result of signing peace with the Bulgars, we are now de-mobilized. Almost all of our spears are upgraded to pikes now, at the cost of most of our treasury. I think we need to have a strategy meeting at this point, so Ill stop here. Our army now consists of 13 Pikes, 4 Keshiks (3 in the north, only one in the south), the vassal cavalry army, 3 VC, and our king units. Ouch. We are weak to everyone except for the Turks and the Castillians. We are behind on tech, but the four techs the Turks so nicely contributed have helped in that regard. We are not mobilized as I said; we need to decide whether to try and get some Town Halls set up in the north and maybe get a little production out of them versus allowing our remaining cities in the south to churn out military faster. Right now, other than Rizan, no city in the north makes more than two spt, and our culture is negligible. We do not have the military to garrison heavily enough to prevent flips, and practically everyone is Religious and can build cheap temples anyway.
In terms of victory conditions, there is no way in hell that we could possibly win a domination victory. Winning on Victory Points remains a possibility; last I checked we have a good 6k or so lead over the nearest competitor, the Turks who are going to be wiped out anyway. I can take another five if neccessary, but we need to do some planning, Doc, and you are alot better at analyzing corruption and that sort of thing than I am.
