"Douglas Adams"-Jokes

[Deep Thought]

If you've read the book "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy", or seen the movie or the TV-series or layed the puzzle. You should probaly give one of your own DA-jokes. If not, here's an example below.

It's very bizzarly impropable coinciquence that something so impropably useful would have been created by a mere chance, that some philosiphers has chosen this as the final and conclusive proof that God doesn't exist.
The discussion has probably been going like this:
- I deny to proof that I exist, says God. Because proof deniesfaith, and without faith I'm nothing.
- But, says Man, in that case it's concluded. The Babelfish cannot have been created by a mere chance. That proofs that you do exist, which therefor, you don't. QED.
- Oh crap, says God. I've never thought of that. And then he disappears into a cloud of logic.
- That was one of my more simple acts, says Man and countinues - now when he/she got up the steam - with proofing that black is white, to then finally be killed at next zebra crossing.
Most of the leading theologists considers that this discussion isn't something else but humbug, which not have stopped Oolon Coluphid for making a fortune on it, by letting it be the central subject in the bestseller And that was about it, God.
Sadly enough, the Babelfish has, by erasing all language barriers between rases and cultures, causing more and bloodier wars then anything else in the history of this creation.

Sorry for the quite bad words, but I translated this text from the swedish version of "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy".

P.S. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is the best book in the world.

 

[Souron]

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on the subject of flying.

There is an art, it says, or rather a knack to flying.

The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Pick a nice day, it suggests, and try it.

The first part is easy.

All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it's going to hurt.

That is, it's going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground.

Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard.

Clearly, it's the second point, the missing, which presents the difficulties.

One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It's no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won't. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you're halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it's going to hurt if you fail to miss it.

It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from these three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people's failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport.

If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phyllum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner.

This is a moment for superb and delicate concentration.

Bob and float, float and bob.

Ignore all considerations of your own weight and simply let yourself waft higher.

Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.

They are most likely to say something along the lines of, "Good God, you can't possibly be flying!"

It is vitally important not to believe them or they will suddenly be right.
...

Link to book

P.S. "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" is the best book in the world.

I wholeheartedly agree.

 

[Deep Thought]

. I love that part on how to break the laws of physics. By just thinking of something random, like spoons.

 

[Paradigne]

One of my favorite lines:

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

 

[Deep Thought]

If you think you live in a fantastic world, you're wrong.

If you think you live in a cruel world, you're wrong too.

If you think the world you live in is avarage, wrong again.

If you think it's impossible to measure how good the world you live in is, another wrong.

If you think it's possible to measure how good the world you live in is, that is wrong.

If we knew the answer to the question if the world we live in is good or not, we would know a lot more about something completely useless. Life.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

From the book:
"And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change..."

 

[Pentium]

The beginning of The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (simply change the 1 in Souron's link to 3):

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.