MrPresident
Anglo-Saxon Liberal
Many of you on these forums (well not many but enough) have been caught out when confronted with English wit, especially dry english wit. I have, very generously might I add, decided to help you poor souls out. The purpose of this thread is to provide those who need it when examples of English wit so that in the future they will be better equipped to recognise it and respond correctly. For those who already know English wit, enjoy.
On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy.
"You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips
make your above the rest of us. Look at me...I'm me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?"
The Englishman replied, "Very sporting of your mother."
An Englishman and an American were have a conservation about how the Englishman had a very bad flying experience.
"So the plane was 2 hours late, it was over-booked and the food was cold and terrible." Said the Englishman.
"Who did you fly with?" Asked the American.
"I don't know they were complete strangers."
Teacher: John. Give me a sentence beginning with 'I'.
John: I is the...
Teacher: No, John. You must say "I am" not "I is."
John: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Two men in a club are reading their newspapers when one says: "It says here there's a fellow in Devon who plays his cello to the seals."
"Oh really", says the other.
"Yes", says the first, "Of course, they don't take a blind bit of notice."
If you have anymore examples, please add them.
On a train from London to Manchester, an American was berating the Englishman sitting across from him in the compartment. "You English are too stuffy.
"You set yourselves apart too much. You think your stiff upper lips
make your above the rest of us. Look at me...I'm me, I have Italian blood, French blood, a little Indian blood, and some Swedish blood. What do you say to that?"
The Englishman replied, "Very sporting of your mother."
An Englishman and an American were have a conservation about how the Englishman had a very bad flying experience.
"So the plane was 2 hours late, it was over-booked and the food was cold and terrible." Said the Englishman.
"Who did you fly with?" Asked the American.
"I don't know they were complete strangers."
Teacher: John. Give me a sentence beginning with 'I'.
John: I is the...
Teacher: No, John. You must say "I am" not "I is."
John: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Two men in a club are reading their newspapers when one says: "It says here there's a fellow in Devon who plays his cello to the seals."
"Oh really", says the other.
"Yes", says the first, "Of course, they don't take a blind bit of notice."
If you have anymore examples, please add them.
