Dumb Blonde joke

[Superevie]

I have a dumb blonde joke I heard somewhere:

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all escape from jail. The police start chasing them, so they hide in a barn. They all find sacks to hide in and hear the police walking in. The police man sees the three sacks and is suspicious. He taps the first one where the redhead is hiding in. "Meow!" The read head said. The polieman figured there must be a cat inside. He kicked the second one where the brunette was. "Woof woof!" she said, and the policeman figured that there was a dog in there. He came to the third bag and kick it. No sound came out. He kick it again and the blonde says, "potatoes."

If anyone else has good dumb blonde jokes, put em here! (I have a dirtier one, but I don't think it's appropriate. There could be kids in here...)

 

[Smaasnekje]

Since I am NATURAL BLONDE (That's right, NO CHEMICALS) I'm offended by blonde jokes...

 

[Superevie]

Originally posted by Smaasnekje


Since I am NATURAL BLONDE (That's right, NO CHEMICALS) I'm offended by blonde jokes...

Chill dude.

 

[Wyrmshadow]

Oh, there's plenty of dirty ones I can post. One I know of isn't overly dirty until you think about it.

 

[Smaasnekje]

Originally posted by Superevie


Chill dude.

Ok, since it's you

 

[Wyrmshadow]

I've heard plenty of jokes in my life so most don't faze me anymore, they're all old. But when I heard this one I FELL on the floor laughing. Mostly because prior to hearing it I was in a very strenuous, humorless activity. I'll erase it if it's too much.

How can you tell if a blonde has been playing games on your computer? (no it's not white-out on the screen)
The joystick is still wet.

 

[Smaasnekje]

Oh, and I got one...

Non natural blondes has a tendency to become brunettes while doiing "the wheel"

That was perhaps a bit on the edge...

 

[Superevie]

Okay here's my dirty one (you guys had bade ones too ):

A gorgeous blonde is driving recklessly down the road at 80 miles per hour in a 45. A cop pulls her over. He starts questioning her and she doesn't know anything about her car or registration. The cop goes back to his car and calls up another cop on duty. He begins to tell his friend about this blonde.
"Oh yeah," the friend says. "I know her."
The cop is surprised and asks for advice on what to do. The friends says, "Drop your pants. Don't ask questions, just do it."

The cop is bemused and goes back to the blonde who is waiting in her car. He does what his cop buddy says and drops his pants. The blonde looks annoyed and says:

"Oh no. Not another breathalizer test..."

 

[da_greatest]

I heard this one like four years ago...

A blonde walks into a store and shows an emloyee a tv she wants to buy. He says, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

The next day she dyes her hair red and does the same thing. Once again the employee says they don't sell TVs to blondes.

The next day she dyes her hair black and goes to the store. Again the employee won't sell her the TV. This time she asks him how he knew she was a blonde, "Because it's a microwave."

 

[onejayhawk]

Smaasnekje I have one for you.

A blonde goes into the bank with her car's title and asks to see a loan officer. She hands him the title and says that she is going to Europe for 3 months, and needs $5000. The bank officer's jaw drops when he sees that the title is to a $70,000 Porsche. In due course he presents the blonde with a check for $5000, takes possession of the vehicle, and spends several weeks putting unauthorized milage on it.

After 90 days the blonde returns, pays the $5000 plus $147.69 interest and fees. The officer has been wondering, so he asks why she only borrowed $5000 on such a valuable car.

The blondes says, "I just paid you less than $150. Have you any idea what garage fees on a Porsche are like?"

J

 

[De Lorimier]

Here's a very stupid blonde joke:

What does a blonde says when she sees a banana peel on the ground in front of her?
Damn! I'm going to fall!

Told you it was stupid!

 

[Superevie]

Here's a nice one a just heard:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground
again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Here is mine:

Q:A blonde and a brunette both jump off a building at the same time, who hits the ground first?
A:The brunette, the blonde has to ask for directions

#2

A redhead walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. She sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV. The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The redhead turns to the blonde and says, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." The redhead placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to the redhead and said, "All is fair. Here is your money." The redhead replies, "Honey, I can't take your money, I
saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."

 

[jeriko one]

A blonde goes to a library and says, `I want a cheeseburger`
The librarian says: ` I am sorry but this is a library.
The blonde apologises and she whispers `I want a cheeseburger.

 

[Captain Carnage]

Originally posted by Superevie
Here's a nice one a just heard:

A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.
Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground
again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

That is a good one, had me and 3 of my friends laughing really hard

 

[Spacetrvler]

A blonde is working on a puzzle at the table.
She asked her husband for some help.
He said, "Sure, let me see what I can do."
She said,"I think its a tiger but none of the peices will fit together."
He replied, "Honey, put the frosted flakes back in the box."

 

[Riesstiu IV]

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.

Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
A: She moved.

 

[Ian Beale]

A blonde was driving at 150 mph on the motorway. The police see her vehicle speed past and immediately give chase. When they pull along side her they notice that not only is she speeding but she is knitting at the wheel. The officers attract her attention and say, "Pullover". The blonde looks down at her knitting and says, "No, its a pair of socks".

Two blondes went out for a walk. As they were walking they came across some tracks. The 1st blonde says, "i think that they are fox tracks" the other says, "No i think that they are dog tracks". They spend some time debating what tracks they are. The next day the headline in the paper said, "2 blondes run down on railway line".

A blonde goes for a haircut and is wearing some ear phones. She says to the hairdresser that she just wants a trim. The hairdresser says, "sure no problemo". As he's about to start cutting her hair he notices the ear phones and says, "would you mind taking your ear phones off as it makes it almost impossible to cut your hair". The blonde says, "No! No way, i need them on; just try and do your best". So the hairdresse begins cutting her hair but realises that it is hopeless and he's making no progress. He asks the blonde again if she can take her ear phones but she is most insistent, "No, No way, i need to keep them on". So the hairdresser tries again but encounters the same problems. He thinks for a few moments about what he could do, customers might be put off because your only as good as your last haircut. He then notices that the blonde has fallen asleep so he thinks, "argh i'll take them off and put them back on- she'll never know". So he takes them off and cuts her hair, and he does a fantastic job! Everybody comliments him and he feels really proud about the cut, it's one of the best he's done. He pops the earphones back on and nudges the blonde to wake her up. But she doesn't move! He nudges her again and she still doesn't move so he checks her pulse and she's DEAD! So he thinks oh my God what happened? He then hears a humming noice coming from the earphones so he thinks, "Oh what's that?". He picks up the earphones and a woman is saying, "Breathe in breathe out!".

How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the door!

Apologies if i have repeated any jokes!

 

[Riesstiu IV]

Originally posted by Ian Beale
How do you sink an Irish submarine?
Knock on the door!

That's not a blonde joke.

 

[Ian Beale]

well observed! Could be applied to blondes though? In the wrong thread but did you really have to bring it up?