Dumb Injuries Thread

[GenghisK]

2 years ago I was riding my bike when a pillar ran straight into me. Ok I had my head turn back to say hello to a friend so didn't see that pillar. Half of my face was in blood. Took me a month for the scars to go.
One of my friend slipped on a chips in McDonalds and broke his arm...

BTW, this thread reminds me a website (won't put the link here, it's not suitable) giving prizes to the most stupid deaths. Once again I don't want to give example but several are really incredibly "funny" (even though it's not, unfortunately)

PS: thought you might find this "interesting". It's in the humor section.

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[goodbye_mr_bond]

How about a sex injury? My ex-girlfriend in university and I were doing the deed when her bracelet got caught in my hoop earring. She didn't notice and basically yanked my head around for a few seconds of excruciating pain. I guess she thought I was screaming for some other reason. Thankfully my earlobe gave way quickly. My run to the bathroom down the hall wearing only a bloody bedsheet, on the other hand, seemed to last an eternity.

The dorm community snickered for days every time they looked at the bandage around my head.

 

[GenghisK]

I've thought of it. I was trying to retrieve on my hard drive 2 horribles images. Finally I thought it'd be better not to put them. Anyway, here are 2 true medical stories reported by surgeons.
_ A woman came to the hospital saying her stomach hurted her. X-Ray analyze found "something" strange indeed. First they thought it was a tenia (the worm) but when they operated on her, they found... a 6m python! It's true. And it was really aggressive when they tried to extract it from the poor woman belly. Horrible.
_ I think these ones are famous and known by almost everybody but anyway I quote them. There's a website with a collection of the most awful x-ray photos. They show that people have really strange sexual habits. It's common for surgeons to find in the anus of those people: coca-cola cans, toothpaste tubes, 2 inches diameter milk bottles (it's true) and even once, a 5 inches long shampoo tube. Now I (and the surgeons too) really wonder how they could put such things in their, uh, you see what I mean.
I've also a little video of one of these "experiments". If anybody is interested...

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This is an extract of a French news. It says that a 50 years old bank director had an erotic game with his 26 years secretary. She was naked, bound with wires on the bed. He was wearing the Batman chothes (you guess the game. Japanese also like those ones

). Unfortunately, his bat-cloak was too long, he slipped on it and broke his legs. When neighbours heard strange noises they had to call firemen to rescue. And something that wasnt' written here (but I read it in another more complete article) is that this guy climbed up on a wardrobe and when he slipped, he broke the wardrobe top and fell into it.
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On the other hand, the following story happened to... my neighbour

(in France). He was smoking in the WC. After lighting the cigarette he threw the match down. Unfortunately he was also farting so the match "exploded" and burnt his a**. The most tragic happened when the emergencies came in to take him to the hospital. While going down the stairs (the flat had only 3 floors so no lift) one of the rescuer couldn't help laughing and dropped the shaft. My poor neighbour fell down the stairs and also broke his hip. Hard luck.

There are also viagra stories but I've put them in the humor section. Just have a glance at them if you like.

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[This message has been edited by GenghisK (edited May 29, 2001).]

 

[Flatlander Fox]

Once, while driving my brothers pick-up I was hit by a drunk ditch. Unfortunately, my brother's '58 Ford pickup's doors didn't work so well so after impact I fell out and rolled about 150 feet in a gigantic patch of stickers (briars). Luckily no one was hurt seriously, but I unfortunately had to have something like 100 stickers removed from my back by my very angry Mom. Note: I haven't driven drunk since then (9 years).

Second dumbest injury: Picked a fight with a Nebraska state wrestling champion (runner-up) and realized about halfway through that my punches weren't really affecting him at all. At least I put up a fight

, but I learned that you may think you are a bad a** but there is always somebody out there ready and willing to clean your clock.

 

[TrailblazingScot]

Bikes cause my injuries...thus I stay away from them now:
1. turning in a tight circles poised like a motorcycist doing a very long bend (but imagine a stouter person...more rugby player than athelete)...I kept on circling for about 10 minutes before utterly dizzy I blacked out and crashed.

Awarded: cuts on knees and hands...as usual

aged 11

2. In a moment of madness I put my foot between the spokes of bike...inevitable bike pitching over with me...crumpled heap of me and bike.

Awarded: my scab on my knee re-opened and joined by some wounds on elbows and the other knee...how to move when every join has a scabbed wound????

aged 7

3. Madly driving bike down steep slope with my brakes failing me and crashing into a tree being the wisest option vs running into a road.

Awarded a superficial wound on leg and a bust bike.

aged 10.


Horses...
1. instructor told me to kick horse harder to move it...I whacked my horse and it galloped off and was cornering tightly so I lost my stirrup footing and I decided to jump off...and somehow landed on my head -with helmut- bounce and land on my backside...

Awarded: a sensibly sized PONY to ride in future and a headache like nothing I have ever experienced again.

Aged...12

2. Horse galloping again...without my permission and again I jumped off but this time I got off before it got up steam.

Awarded: a long chase to get my horse

Aged...13

Too many in some ways...but most aren't dumb but inevitable! Play sport and injury is very likely...e.g cricket...you bowl at a man who will bat the ball, perhaps at you??????????

 

[Mongol Horde]

This injury involves stupidity on someone elses part rather than my own. A few summers back I worked in the U.S. on a summer camp. In my time off at the end of camp some friends and I visited Boston. We thought that a cool way to do the sights would be to hire bikes. So basically we were cruising through Boston pretty fast in the cycle lane when I noticed a police cruiser parked in the cycle lane. I thought well there is a bad example but the story doesn't end there.... I move out to overtake the car and the dunbf&%k policewoman car doors me giving me about a centimetre to react. I manage to slightly turn my wheel and shoulder plant the car door at about thirty miles an hour sending me spinning out into the road bashing my head and knocking me out for a couple of seconds. The friend behind me put his front brake on too hard and went over the handlebars hitting the car door with his face needing about seven stitches. The bruise on my shoulder took about a week to get to the surface and when it did lasted about two weeks.

Not so funny at the time but funny to look back on.

 

[BlueMonday]

I've got one that I was associated with. Back in High School my old homeboy, Todd, was deadly in love with this girl. The girl, however, didn't even notice him so he needed a way to get her attention.

It turned out that everyday she walked home from school right past another friend of mine's house. He lived in this giant house with a big walled in front yard and had a nice big trampoline in the back.

So, we moved the trampoline into the front yard. Then, when the girl came walking by we signaled Todd, and he started running. He heads straight at the trampoline and, using a chair for some help up, he jumps onto the tramp. The tramp catapults him over the wall, right over the girl and right into the parkway. He lands in this big evergreen bush, twists his ankle, and gets scrapes and bruises all over his body.

"Oh my God, are you all right?" she says.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." and he limps back to the yard.

It worked too. She was so worried about him she wouldn't even let him leave. She personally helped him walk back to the house, called an ambulance, and even went with him to the ER. After that, the two were quite inseperable. Never underestimate the power of embarassment as a catalyst for love.

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<FONT COLOR="blue">Oh Danny Boy, the pines...the pines are calling. From glenn to glenn and down the mountainside.
The summer's gone and all the roses are dying...</FONT c>

 

[shadowdale]

You wanna hear about Stupid injuries???
I just broke my foot, jumping AWAY from a moving train!!!

Just because I hadn't noticed it when I was crossing the track!!!

Stupid, stupid me..............

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Veni Vidi Vici.

Coolbook:
Håkan Eriksson, Stormerne, vladmir_illych_lenin, Cunobelin Of Hippo, Bluemonday.

 

[GenghisK]

Shadowdale, mon pauvre ami, have a look at this: http://www.ifrance.com/GenghisK/GirlBlam.mpg
and you'll see finally you were lucky!

I warn you that it's quite disturbing but if you don't mind, have a look. It's spectacular... And surely hurtfull for her.

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[drake]

As the thread on Apolyton was great entertainment, this was likewise

Thanks for the laughs fellas

 

[Ninny Man Jr]

I'm sure there are plenty more . . . but when I said that on ACS the thread died . . .

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Guess who!

 

[andycapp]

I could keep this thread going just by myself - but one more example of my stupidity will sufice.

Last Summer my wife and I were out walking and I, as usual, was giving my opinion on anything and everything. As we walked my wife pointed out a house that was being renovated to which I responded by pontificating on the architectural crimes against humanity being committed by the owners. I should have been warned by the smile spreading across my wife's face - but no, the hint wasn't taken and I walked - smack! Straight into a light pole!

Btw I got some measure of revenge on the bowler (see earlier post) who inflicted such agony on me. We played the same team again the next season and the same bowler tried to catch a ball I hit and not only dropped a vital catch but also broke his finger. As I passed the bowler, who was clutching his hand in great pain, I gave into my instincts for revenge and asked, "Is it painful?" To which he replied, "it's bloody agony!" With a big grin I said, "remember, pain is only a sensation!"

 

[GenghisK]

What do you think about that?
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It's not a fake. Some people really have strange (sexual?) games!

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[andycapp]

GenghisK, that's a bottler! <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/biggrin.gif" border=0> Some people put strange things in their orifices!

I've been told by a nurse (works in casualty at a major hospital) that vacuum cleaner attachments stuck to a certain part of the male anatomy is a fairly common problem. One way to get a b/j???

[This message has been edited by andycapp (edited June 07, 2001).]

 

[GenghisK]

Mmm, want some more Andy?
Hey here you are
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And you can also check the humor topic. There're a lot of incredible (but funny)pictures.

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[drake]

Good lord, where do you get these pictures from genghis?

 

[GenghisK]

Hum, well on humoristic sites. I don't have links, I use google to find them. When I find something "interesting" I post it. But I think people are really sick. How can they put such things in the, the, uh, the... you see waht.

And BTW, where's the land of M*******, Drake? And what about removing the "M"

 

[drake]

Massachusetts Genghis.

Massachusetts people get the nickname "Ma$$holes" from out of staters responding to Mass drivers infamously obnoxious driving. I used to live in Maine and use the term loosely. But now that I live in Mass, I see the term fits quite well. Drivers here are the worst!

 

[GenghisK]

Pfff, with all due respect everybody know that the French and Greek drivers are the worst. Especially French women. I'm not sexist but the statistics...
Ok in Vietnam it's worse but it's not a civilized country...

In USA you drive on the left, in UK you drive on the right, in VN both are true!

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[Leowind]

Have done stupid things (riding into the back of a parked truck while fiddling with my deraileur on my bike-in front of my High School; ran into closed sliding glass door as a child) that fortunately resulted in only a bruised ego, but I did injure myself in this way. One summer in college years was painting a very old building on campus for summer job. We were painting the ceiling and it got very hot, so we opened all the windows first thing. Earlier one window had fallen and broke when we unlatched it because it was so old the pulley ropes had rotten away. As I opened a window one morning, it too began to fall. Wishing to save the window and quickly reached up to grab the frame. End result was a broken window and cut hands. I calmly went to the bathroom to clean up. Bleeding didn't stop, so I went to my supervisor's office-which was in the steam room. Standing at the sink, right next to all the very hot steam pipes, I fainted, falling onto the pipes and scalding my arm. Fortunately (?) my supervisor was standing right there and yanked me off the pipes, ramming my head into the corner of the sink!! Had a few stitches in my fingers (still have the scars), and both hands bandaged up--two weeks before my wedding!!