Eating cats to become mandatory in Nebraska!

[Hitro]

Nebraska governor Dave Heineman is said to sign a controversial bill on Monday that will make the consumption of cats mandatory. As part of a bundle of measures to improve potential relief efforts in case of a state-wide disaster the bill will enable state authorities to confiscate cats to prevent a food supply shortage. The animals should then be used by the food industry to create emergency ratios for the population. According to David C. Myers, press officer of local food company Redwells, chemical flavour additives will be used to make the meat taste "roughly like beef".
When asked about possible ethical concerns on part of the consumers Myers pointed out that this would only be done in the "extremely unlikely case of a state wide disaster" and added that in the case people would "have to worry about other things".

Wouldn't this be the outrage?

 

[WickedSmurf]

Wouldn't this be the outrage?

Most certainly, cats aren't meaty enough to serve as food. They should've gone for the dogs instead.

 

[Eklektikos]

An excellent idea, although using babies instead of cats would be a more efficient approach - fewer mouths to feed in the event of an emergency.

 

[Hitro]

An excellent idea, although using babies instead of cats would be a more efficient approach - fewer mouths to feed in the event of an emergency.

We could also eat the elderly - fewer mouths to feed even after the emergency is over.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

The government has been chipping away at our cat owning rights for years, but now its time for all cat owners to take a stand! We cant let the government take our cats from us! They'll have to pry our ******* from our cold dead hands!

Are you with me!!

(crickets)

 

[Dr. Yoshi]

Did you get this from the Onion?

 

[Eklektikos]

We could also eat the elderly - fewer mouths to feed even after the emergency is over.

Too stringy and chewy. They'd have to boil the buggers for weeks before anything useful could be done with the meat.

 

[Hitro]

Did you get this from the Onion?

No, no I didn't.

 

[IglooDame]

The government has been chipping away at our cat owning rights for years, but now its time for all cat owners to take a stand! We cant let the government take our cats from us! They'll have to pry our ******* from our cold dead hands!

Are you with me!!

(crickets)

Sorry, everybody knows that you can't hang on to a cat, or they'll be prying its claws out of your cold dead chest.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Too stringy and chewy. They'd have to boil the buggers for weeks before anything useful could be done with the meat.

You could make sausages out of them. Just toss them in the grinder whole. You can throw anything into sausage.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Sorry, everybody knows that you can't hang on to a cat, or they'll be prying its claws out of your cold dead chest.

Yeah thats true, you wouldnt want to be holding on to a panicked cat, it'll take chunks of you with it

 

[Wolfe Tone]

Eating them is one thing, but which method will they choose to skin them

 

[Perfection]

Eating them is one thing, but which method will they choose to skin them

How many methods are there?

 

[Eklektikos]

You could make sausages out of them. Just toss them in the grinder whole. You can throw anything into sausage.

Grannywurst?

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Grannywurst?

Sure, why not, dentures and all!

 

[Rambuchan]

Do humans get furballs from eating cats? Sorry, I just remembered those 54 skinning techiques. Stupid.

 

[Hitro]

Sure, why not, dentures and all!

Actually I've always presumed most sausages contain all sorts of sh*t. Also literally.

 

[Kayak]

Too stringy and chewy. They'd have to boil the buggers for weeks before anything useful could be done with the meat.

Indeed, babies would be more tender, like veal! In addition the elderly would seem to me to have more chance of passing on diseases.

 

[Rambuchan]

In addition the elderly would seem to me to have more chance of passing on diseases.

In addition, there's all that gristle you get when eating old people.

 

[Hitro]

How about old cats then?