FUNNY! Politically Incorrect Unique Units!

America:

Brittany Spears Wonder: negates the cultural effects of JS Bach's Cathedral, and eliminates Music Theory tech from civ where wonder is built. Causes boom in Viagra industry for old former senators and their dogs.

Hollywood Wonder: Increases war weariness due to increasing the belief that an entire war can be fought and won in two hours.

Telecommunications Wonder: Promise: to increase knowledge and literacy of the population by 50%. Actual: Decreases literacy by 50% by people no longer writing letters, spending no time reading, and watching Jerry Springer. Increases belief that wrestling is real.

Cell phone unit (0.0.0): Automatically produced by telecommunications wonder. Causes two unhappy citizens in each city over size 12 due to traffic accidents caused by people talking on the phone while driving; halves road movement.

Public Education Wonder: Increases literacy and happiness among citizens for 20 turns by 50%. Thereafter causes tax cutting initiatives to be passed, temporarily increasing happiness (2 happy faces for 2 turns), but which then cause 5 unhappy citizens per metropolis due to complaints that public education doesn't work when not funded.

CNN Wonder: Acts as intelligence agency for all civilizations that don't have one.

Computer game unit (0.0.0): Produced by Internet Wonder. Causes 2 unhappy faces and reduces population growth by 50% due to spouses playing video games instead of romancing.
 
hmm in my opinion i belive your queerish remarks are They are too politically incorrect, and have no humor value.
 
Originally posted by Zouave


Very good! Speaking of the U.S. Government, there can always be an INS agent: gives a free pass to terrorists at the border.

Good thread!

forgot to mention the IRS....now that would solve all our corruption problem wouldnt it? :lol:
 
This thread is intended for the politically incorrect. There is not such thing as "too politically incorrect". of course they weren't funny but that's not the reason.

Croatia: Guys with a death wish
Provoke war with Rome by driving down Lygon street and burning the Italian flag in the street after their victory in the world cup.

America:
Trailer Trash: 1 in 10 citizens is trailer trash. No productivity. Double Food. Increases incest rate.

Unique wonder (we should have these):
Jerry Springer Wonder:
decreases literacy, increases trailer trash ratio. Decreases happiness and cause international disdain. Increases global confusion in similar manner to Bollywood.

(Many civs)
Rugby Player/Stadium:
Decreases literacy. Increases happiness (stupid people are easier to please). Opposing civs are intimidated more easily by a army of rugby players.

Mike Tyson UU:
ear population is halved. Crime Rate doubles, Population doubles.
 
Originally posted by ThomasMurphy
hmm in my opinion i belive your queerish remarks are They are too politically incorrect, and have no humor value.

I took offense regarding the concentration camps and green units as described because I'm Jewish. I'm sure a lot of people thought of them, but decided not to post them. Your use of "queerish" is offensive. Please let's not go down that one. This has been a good thread, let's keep it that way.
 
Very sad, but true. Although I think the UU should be a Babylonian UU -- Terrorist -- that treats all terrain as road movement without RoP, and causes one unhappy face in attacked city, and is invisible like a submarine and is treated like a privateer. Requires maintenance. Use causes entire world to become annoyed with Babylon.
 
Trinity your just a really cool guy... that wasnt directed torwards the jewish population nor was it meant to be offensive it was meant as humor (apparently it was funny) and it was also historic thats just like the japenese kamakazie or the jewish sucide bomber up there someone mentioned its part of everyday life and history so i dont care if you were offended by it your an idiot who needs to expand his mind instead of looking at it one sided so please just remeber this note for me

Until you expand your mind Dont Breed
Moderator Action: Read the above sentence carefully.....if you are going to insult someone you should be able to spell and use correct grammar.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
 
I think this should be a Unique improvement for the Americans:
McDonalds-Increases food and happiness, but lowers shield production (too many fat fast food-loving people)
 
Canada UU: Game warden. 0/0/0/
resources deplete in half the time because hes too fricken lazy to do his job.
 
Canada: Lumberjack -- increases sheild production in forests by 50 percent. Requires plaid clothes.
 
Originally posted by ThomasMurphy
Trinity your just plain stupid... that wasnt directed torwards the jewish population nor was it meant to be offensive it was meant as humor (apparently it was funny) and it was also historic thats just like the japenese kamakazie or the jewish sucide bomber up there someone mentioned its part of everyday life and history so i dont care if you were offended by it your an idiot who needs to expand his mind instead of looking at it one sided so please just remeber this note for me

Until you expand your mind Dont Breed

:rolleyes:
 
Originally posted by rmsharpe
Canada: Lumberjack -- increases sheild production in forests by 50 percent. Requires plaid clothes.

"Oh, I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day.
I cut down trees.
I clean my axe.
I go to the lavatory." -- "And Now for Something Completely Different" - Monty Python's Flying Circus
 
Forgive me if you've seen these before.....

New Unit: the Ex-wife
Attack 6, defence 6, move 6.
Costs 20, maintenance 20, radar range 2.
Bombardment 8, bombard range 0, rate of fire 8.
The bombardment range becomes unlimited with the invention of electricity/telephone.
This is the only unit that must still be maintained even if disbanded.

New Small Wonder: Chocolates & Flowers
Only costs 10, no maintenance, 5 culture per turn.
Effects: for a small fee of 5 gold, one unhappy citizen is temporarily made content, but loses this effect if used too often.
Quote from the Civilopeadia: "Chocolates &Flowers have saved Mankind from many, many difficult situations in the past, and looks certain to continue to do so far into the future. However, if used too frequently the effects can be disastrous (see Ex-wife)...."
 
bobgote, didnt somebody did something similar a while back during a football match (soccer not ARL)? Think it was a 3 fingered salute over the chest. Not sure about the nationality though


Here;s some suggestions
Swiss bankers - Increases corruption levels for your enemies by siphoning off their money and generating cash for you

Swiss army - For being so neutral in everything, who better than to be UN peacekeepers. Helps other nation reduce war weariness
 
Actually, (i remember reading) the swiss are not a member of the UN, and they were forbidden (and agrred not to) to send any mercenaries to any where but the Vatican.

But still good. I'm overly ctical, so dont mind me.
 
my bad, ur right. Read that somewhere also. But I was right about them being so darn neutral.:)
 
The Swiss recently became a member of the United Nations. There was a referendum on it, I believe.

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America: FBI wonder. Replaces intelligence agency, but only functional during War-Time mobilization. Requires contract with Ray-Ban Sunglasses.

America: Al Gore. Requires illegal Buddhist campaign contributions to the Democratic National Committee. Fifty percent chance of secretly giving military technologies to Chinese civ. Becomes obsolete with George Bush Jr.

America: George Bush Sr. -- May spoil U.S.-Japanese relations by vomiting during banquet.

America: PETA. Eradicates all bonuses from game, cattle, and ivory. Expires with education.

England: Bad teeth. Civs are a little less cooperative during negotiations. Expires with Dental Hygene.
 
Illegal immigrant unit

Wanders into your cities undetected and uses up food production. Does no work. Cost 10 gold per turn maintenance.
If enough join a city, the city becomes a ghetto and culture flips to another tribe.
 
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