Funny quotes

[scorch]

Post your favourite quotes here.


'She [Monica Lewinski] was an intern, who in turn, sucked his dick!' - Andrew Dice Clay
'The only real drug problem, is scoring real good drugs' - NoFx

 

[Kefka]

Never Underestamate stupid people in large groups


MISSING PERSON
have you seen this man-------->

if so please find a way to place him in his rightfull spot as my Avatar!

 

[Apollo]

Kefka: Never Underestamate stupid people in large groups

This has been deminstrated in recent weeks by the US Congress

 

[Juize]

Originally posted by Apollo
This has been demonstrated in recent weeks by the US Congress

What? You mean 'recent centuries'? Right?
(OK, no offense to americans... umm... yes offense, but not
in offensial part of offensive material. In short words: )

 

[scorch]

LOL!!!

 

[greenie]

Lady Astor (to Winston Churchill): You know, if you were my husband, I'd poison your drink...

Winston Churchill (to Lady Astor): ...and if I were your husband, Madam, I would drink it.

 

[scorch]

i've heard that one greenie!!! thats funny...


A couple about Christina Agularia.

Christina: "Wow, I'm so glad to meet you Mr Brooks. I loved all of your albums!"

Garth: "Oh yeah? Name one song"

Christina: "Umm... uhhh.... ummmm..."

Garth: "That's OK, I can't name any of your songs either."

TIGER WOODS: Oh, Christina, I love your music, I have all your CDs, rutabuga blah blah...
CHRISTINA: Sorry, I don't follow tennis so I don't know much about you.

 

[Ironrod]

Lady Astor: Mr Churchill, you are drunk.

Winston Churchill: Yes, but you are ugly, and in the morning I shall be sober.

 

[scorch]

ummm, who was lady astor?

 

[greenie]

Lady Astor was a London Socialite famous for being shot-down by Churchill twice AND quoted on it

 

[scorch]

why didn't she like him?

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Teamwork is a group of people doing what I tell them to

 

[Kefka]

"Eagles may soar high, but weasel don't get sucked in to a jet engine"

"When someone makes you mad it takes fourty two muscles to frown But it only takes four muscles to extend your arm and smack him in the head"

"When life hands you lemons make lemonade.......and throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the damm apples you asked for in the first place!"

"Economists predict the year ahead will reward hard workers What a frightening outlook for many!"

"The problem with political jokes is that they keep getting elected"

"If life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives"

Sarcasm is the only intelligent person's response to irritating stupidity"



MISSING PERSON
have you seen this man-------->

if so please find a way to place him in his rightfull spot as my Avatar!

 

[Dexter]

Beer: Well everybody needs a hobby!

Marijuana: Why should Glaucoma patients have all the fun?!

Romance: Its overratted... Let's get naked!!!!

 

[duke o' york]

Interesting opinions for a 13 year old!

 

[scorch]

yes, i believe we should after every post of dexters wonder if it was appropriate.

 

[Glaurung]

he thinks hes a rebel of society, what can you expect?

do you where your visor upside down and sideways at the same time, dexter? thats is the tell tale sign of a rebel.

is dexter the name of your favorite cartoon character?

do you have any idea what glaucoma is dexter?

"are you cookin beans?!"
"do you have any more wheat bread?!"
"is zoro on?!"
"what time is it?!"
"got anymore bananas?!"

-David Letterman

"I went to priceline.com last night, got something at a rock bottom price! Yeah, their stock!!!"

-Jay Leno

hey, dexter, keep it hard-core! skate boarding is not a crime, right? whats your favorite band, backside boys? tell me when you plan to overthrow your middle school. ive alerted the fbi towards your stance on society. are you one of those kids who has the gay a with a circle circumventing it patch?(oh, circumventing means circling, dex.) do you have names of bands written on your back pack? that is a dead give away for hardcore anarchists.

"Hasta luego, you low-ridin' punks!"

-C.O.P. of new york city, appearing on the david W. Letterman show.

"Hasta luego, you low-ridin' punks!"

-Bill Clinton, speeding away with stolen furniture from the Dave W. Letterman show.

"hey, paul, can you stop staring at my @@@@@@ @@@ for one @@@@@@ second, huh??!!"

-Miss France, appearing on the Dave W. Letterman show, who was allegedly a man.

"You rockers keep it hard-core."

-Jeremy McCaulley, a funny kid at my school.(when he said it, last year, a few minutes before school, doing the index and pinky finger thing and all, leaving a class.)

 

[duke o' york]

Oh dear. It was just a sarcastic remark to something silly Dexter posted - I never intended for this to become an "Attacks on Dexter" thread.

 

[Dexter]

Originally posted by Glaurung
he thinks hes a rebel of society, what can you expect?

do you where your visor upside down and sideways at the same time, dexter? thats is the tell tale sign of a rebel.

is dexter the name of your favorite cartoon character?

do you have any idea what glaucoma is dexter?

"are you cookin beans?!"
"do you have any more wheat bread?!"
"is zoro on?!"
"what time is it?!"
"got anymore bananas?!"

-David Letterman

"I went to priceline.com last night, got something at a rock bottom price! Yeah, their stock!!!"

-Jay Leno

hey, dexter, keep it hard-core! skate boarding is not a crime, right? whats your favorite band, backside boys? tell me when you plan to overthrow your middle school. ive alerted the fbi towards your stance on society. are you one of those kids who has the gay a with a circle circumventing it patch?(oh, circumventing means circling, dex.) do you have names of bands written on your back pack? that is a dead give away for hardcore anarchists.

"Hasta luego, you low-ridin' punks!"

-C.O.P. of new york city, appearing on the david W. Letterman show.

"Hasta luego, you low-ridin' punks!"

-Bill Clinton, speeding away with stolen furniture from the Dave W. Letterman show.

"hey, paul, can you stop staring at my @@@@@@ @@@ for one @@@@@@ second, huh??!!"

-Miss France, appearing on the Dave W. Letterman show, who was allegedly a man.

"You rockers keep it hard-core."

-Jeremy McCaulley, a funny kid at my school.(when he said it, last year, a few minutes before school, doing the index and pinky finger thing and all, leaving a class.)

Well in reply to your most genorous post,

Dexter is the name of the lead singer of The Offspring I like the name alot because I feel that he relates to me in a way. I'm pretty smart at school and he was good at school too (which explains his name.)

"Rebel Of Society" relates to my political and religious beliefs. My beliefs that hypocracy is the one true evil and that it is what makes society, which explains why I rebel against such things.

Glaucoma is a group of diseases that can lead to damage to the eye's optic nerve and result in blindness.
Open-angle glaucoma, the most common form of glaucoma, affects about 3 million Americans--half of whom don't know they have it. It has no symptoms at first. But over the years it can steal your sight. With early treatment, you can often protect your eyes against serious vision loss and blindness.

Thanks for your keen interest in my life Dr. Glaurung, I hope I answered all your questions.


Now as towards what I posted, it was a JOKE, in case you haven't noticed we're on a humour page!



As for anyone who has Glaucoma or has someone who suffers from it and I have offended them then I'm sorry.

 

[Graeme the mad]

Is using bush cheating :

'More and more of our imports come from outside the country'

'Nigeria is an important continent'

'Its time for the human race to enter the solar system'

'If the east timorians decide to revolt Im sure i'll have a statement'

'Welcome to Mrs Bush and my fellow astronauts'

Then there is beckhams
' I think we'll get brooklyn christend but I dont know into which religion'

The always popular reply to a man who called someone smelly (cant remember who)

'Yes my good man, but if I wash my problem will go away, however youy are ugly and there is no cure for that'

Nikita Kruschev's is quite good in hindsight (yes i have nicked this from someons sig but I used to have the never underestimate the power of stupid people one in my sig until people started pointing out that I was an idiot so I had to take it out):

'History is on our side. We will bury you.'

Lots more, i might post them later