Funny trips to foreign countries
- Thread starter R.B.
- Start date
Catharsis
catch u on the flip scythe
VENICE, Venice, argh, how I hate thee.
It snowed. We got on the wrong boat and ended up in the industrial section. Who knew Venice even had an industrial section? The boats were crowded and the water was smelly. The streets were littered with confetti and there was graffiti everywhere. We ended up going to McDonalds. While there, a pigeon got in, and nobody cared. The people yelled at you for no reason. The woman whose house we were staying in wouldn't let us touch any part of the furniture, despite the fact that the kitchen was filled with a million knick-knacks, all totally breakable and bump-intoable. The Bridge was disappointingly similar to an ordinary bridge. Then it rained, and still you could see Japanese tourists in gondolas giving people the thumbs-up and taking pictures of other Japanese tourists taking pictures. Then it rained some more.
It snowed. We got on the wrong boat and ended up in the industrial section. Who knew Venice even had an industrial section? The boats were crowded and the water was smelly. The streets were littered with confetti and there was graffiti everywhere. We ended up going to McDonalds. While there, a pigeon got in, and nobody cared. The people yelled at you for no reason. The woman whose house we were staying in wouldn't let us touch any part of the furniture, despite the fact that the kitchen was filled with a million knick-knacks, all totally breakable and bump-intoable. The Bridge was disappointingly similar to an ordinary bridge. Then it rained, and still you could see Japanese tourists in gondolas giving people the thumbs-up and taking pictures of other Japanese tourists taking pictures. Then it rained some more.
Catharsis
catch u on the flip scythe
On the canals? No, but it was quite a thick covering of snow.
Chandrasekhar
Determined
Then it rained, and still you could see Japanese tourists in gondolas giving people the thumbs-up and taking pictures of other Japanese tourists taking pictures. Then it rained some more.
cthom
3,011,451,295
my partner and i had been on a 'top up tan' cruise in portugal years ago. visiting turkey a couple of years ago, we thought we'd do the same thing there. in the morning the sky was dull, i was really annoyed. by dinner time, anchored at a bay, everyone was having fun, diving into the sea, drinking wine, etc. i'm on the boat looking towards the mountains in the distance. the sky is very dark over there and i know someone is getting very wet. still, it's way over there.
*five* minutes later: it's so dark it could be midnight, it's so cold i could be home, it's so wet the towels round our shoulders are soaking. the sea is up and down like a scene from 'the perfect storm'. my partner is hugging a pillar in the middle of the boat, a man has broken a leg falling down wet steps, and me? i'm at the edge of the boat thinking 'WOW! this is fun!'
my partner tried to kill me later.
*five* minutes later: it's so dark it could be midnight, it's so cold i could be home, it's so wet the towels round our shoulders are soaking. the sea is up and down like a scene from 'the perfect storm'. my partner is hugging a pillar in the middle of the boat, a man has broken a leg falling down wet steps, and me? i'm at the edge of the boat thinking 'WOW! this is fun!'
my partner tried to kill me later.
ParadigmShifter
Random Nonsense Generator
Went on a business trip with the boss and his religious cohorts. Got a free drink voucher checking in and the other guy didn't want to go to the bar so I went on my own. Anyway, I was chatting to the barman about how he got shot when some bloke said "I can tell by your hair and clothes you are here for the jazz festival" - yeah right, I was there for the Windows hardware conference. Anyway, several long island teas later it was back to his for a few tokes. I'd already told him I wasn't gay, he told me that was fine he wasn't either. As soon as we got to his house he said "touch the scud man!!!" and told me to touch the scud fragment that had landed near him in the first gulf war. Then he said "look at this picture" - it was that thing in Spain where people run away from the angry bulls in the village. So I said ok, I know about that, and he said "look closer", and there he was running away from a bull. What a loon. He got his bong out which was shaped like a gun, so I had a few goes on that. Then he started talking about football, I told him I was an Evertonian and then he went away and came back wearing an Arsenal shirt. I knew I shouldn't have said "Up the Arsenal!". Anyway to cut a long story short he tried it on (he only liked straight guys apparently), I said no, left my wallet at his house by mistake, and was skint for the next few days. A few days later I noticed my hotel answerphone light was flashing, it was the dude saying he had found my wallet and left it in reception, he didn't take any cash or anything. What an experience. It was the week before the mardi gras too.
Mirc
Not mIRC!!!
VENICE, Venice, argh, how I hate thee.
It snowed. We got on the wrong boat and ended up in the industrial section. Who knew Venice even had an industrial section? The boats were crowded and the water was smelly. The streets were littered with confetti and there was graffiti everywhere. We ended up going to McDonalds. While there, a pigeon got in, and nobody cared. The people yelled at you for no reason. The woman whose house we were staying in wouldn't let us touch any part of the furniture, despite the fact that the kitchen was filled with a million knick-knacks, all totally breakable and bump-intoable. The Bridge was disappointingly similar to an ordinary bridge. Then it rained, and still you could see Japanese tourists in gondolas giving people the thumbs-up and taking pictures of other Japanese tourists taking pictures. Then it rained some more.
What's funny in that?
And BTW I loved Venice.
jubnub
went to Neubrandenburg
It is true that i live in Texas but not in Austin. Anyway, me and my uncle go to some Italian restraunt i think, well anyway it had hundred or so hallways that you could get lost. I was on the way to the bathroom and some how someway i ended up in the kitchen. The cheifs weren't there at the moment, so i just started to sneak some food, but then at that moment, a waiter came in a saw me. His face turned plumb red, so he threw me out of the restraunt.
I was in Chengdu, China, in the Civil Aviation Hotel (I was invited, as I did a project for them). Being far from the coast, where China is relatively more opened to the foreigners, Chengdu is full of Chineses who speak essentially Chinese. It's quite hard to find someone who speaks English, and imagine for French...
So I was in my hotel room, reading the hotel leeflet, and it was written "internet"
Cool! I will be able to check CFC! So I try to connect my laptop to the plug in the wall. Nothing... Perhaps it needs to be activated?
So I go down to reception, and ask the guy for internet. I wasn't sure he understood, but he said "yes, yes, it's OK". So I went back to my room, and tried to connect. Nothing. I waited a little, still nothing.
So back to reception to ask for Internet. Suddenly, I saw a light of understanding in the man eyes!! He said "OK, go back to your room, I send someone". Back again to my room.
Five minutes later, knock! knock!
I opened the door, a woman from room service enter the room, and spend 5 minutes explaining to me in great details, in Chinese of course, how to.... turn the hot water on in the bathroom... And then she left...
I renounced to get internet during that trip.
And I'm sure when she went back to reception, she said "those westerners are really stupid, they don't even know how to use hot water!!"
So I was in my hotel room, reading the hotel leeflet, and it was written "internet"
Cool! I will be able to check CFC! So I try to connect my laptop to the plug in the wall. Nothing... Perhaps it needs to be activated?
So I go down to reception, and ask the guy for internet. I wasn't sure he understood, but he said "yes, yes, it's OK". So I went back to my room, and tried to connect. Nothing. I waited a little, still nothing.
So back to reception to ask for Internet. Suddenly, I saw a light of understanding in the man eyes!! He said "OK, go back to your room, I send someone". Back again to my room.
Five minutes later, knock! knock!
I opened the door, a woman from room service enter the room, and spend 5 minutes explaining to me in great details, in Chinese of course, how to.... turn the hot water on in the bathroom... And then she left...
I renounced to get internet during that trip.
And I'm sure when she went back to reception, she said "those westerners are really stupid, they don't even know how to use hot water!!"
Raisin Bran
Cereal Killer
Off topic a bit but this thread made me think that the worst job in the world would probably be : Minister of tourism in IRAQ.
carmen510
Deity
Or Minister of DEFENSE in Iraq...
Anyways, we went to Rome, and crossing streets was like parachuting, without the parachute. IN A DAMNED ALLEY, no less than THREE CARS almost hit me over. Not to mention the car was as wide as the alley... Then at least FIVE MOTORCYCLES ALMOST RAN ME OVER!!!
Along with France, Italy is notoriously horrible at driving. At a visit at Mondelieu La Napoule near Cannes every second car by the sidewalk had one or several dents, and the parking ... dear God.
Or Minister of DEFENSE in Iraq...
Anyways, we went to Rome, and crossing streets was like parachuting, without the parachute. IN A DAMNED ALLEY, no less than THREE CARS almost hit me over. Not to mention the car was as wide as the alley... Then at least FIVE MOTORCYCLES ALMOST RAN ME OVER!!!
carmen510
Deity
Trying to find parking during Easter holidays...
I'd like to see James Bond do that...
I'd like to see James Bond do that...
Mirc
Not mIRC!!!
Or Minister of DEFENSE in Iraq...
Anyways, we went to Rome, and crossing streets was like parachuting, without the parachute. IN A DAMNED ALLEY, no less than THREE CARS almost hit me over. Not to mention the car was as wide as the alley... Then at least FIVE MOTORCYCLES ALMOST RAN ME OVER!!!
Heh heh you haven't been to Belgrade then.
Craziest traffic I've seen, and I was in Italy too.And this Belgrade thing just reminded me:
I was at a so called "youth-hostel" in Belgrade. Exceptional quality, as good as a hotel IMO. They even had Internet access in the main hall 24/24, it's true that only one computer, but there were only like 10 rooms in the whole building, and most were empty/with uninterested people.
And I was staying there together with another contestant from Romania (I was at a guitar festival) as well as with a lot of guys from Serbia's neighboring countries: Bosnians, Bulgarians, Croatians, Greeks, Hungarians, etc. The (Romanian) girl who was staying exactly in the room near me wanted to speak to her mother, but she didn't know English. So she asked for my help.
I went down at the reception, and spoke to the girl at the reception. I said the following words (exact quote!): "Hello. Is it possible to make a phone call to another country from here? She (I pointed to the girl) would need to call someone. Is it possible?". She looked confused for about 3-4 seconds, then a light appeared on her face. She said "yes, sure!", with a very happy voice (and a really, really weird accent), and then left us for about 30 seconds. She figured what we needed.
Spoiler :
In this time, we almost couldn't hold our laugh. I paid for the bottle and left.
cthom
3,011,451,295
i don't know why, but right now i'm struggling to press the keyboard
Swedishguy
Deity
I could tell you a funny story!
...if I had one, of course. Fact is, I have never been outside of Scandinavia!
...if I had one, of course. Fact is, I have never been outside of Scandinavia!
TheBladeRoden
Deity
Haha! You know... there was this one time.. hee hee! I flew over the southern part of Canada! Ha ha ha! That was funny!
Bushface
Deity
Ah yes, Venice. Overcrowded, overpriced, filthy and smelly. Graffiti and tattered posters all over the Rialto bridge, the stagnant canal covered with rotting oranges just outside the restaurant window - these are a few of my unfavourite things.
Now for funny-peculiar. Driving into Hungary from Austria in 1972, along a kilometre of straight road raise a metre above empty ploughed fields, my wife and I reached the frontier post with its 5-metre high wire fence, entered the frontier post through the two sets of gates, past a dozen sentries with machine guns, handed our passports and documents to the guard, and settled down to wait. We had been there before: it had taken three hours to get cleared, during which time we tried to drink the weakest and sourest coffee in the world, an experience not to be repeated. But not this time. No sooner had we settled ourselves in the line of waiting vehicles than an officer appeared, escorted by two goose-stepping soldiers with bayoneted rifles shouldered, coming straight towards us. And what an officer ! Tall, handsome, pencil-thin moustache, gleaming half-boots, and a uniform obviously tailored for him and impeccably pressed - he should have been in full Hussar kit. He ceremoniously handed us our documents, all duly stamped, saluted, and called to the guards at the exit gates. They called something back (neither of us spoke Magyar) and he drew himself up and shouted at them. Both sets of exit gates were opened for us, to our amazement and that of the other people who clearly had been waiting for some time, and off we drove as the exit guards presented arms. Why we were given the VIP treatment, I can't imagine.
Now for funny-peculiar. Driving into Hungary from Austria in 1972, along a kilometre of straight road raise a metre above empty ploughed fields, my wife and I reached the frontier post with its 5-metre high wire fence, entered the frontier post through the two sets of gates, past a dozen sentries with machine guns, handed our passports and documents to the guard, and settled down to wait. We had been there before: it had taken three hours to get cleared, during which time we tried to drink the weakest and sourest coffee in the world, an experience not to be repeated. But not this time. No sooner had we settled ourselves in the line of waiting vehicles than an officer appeared, escorted by two goose-stepping soldiers with bayoneted rifles shouldered, coming straight towards us. And what an officer ! Tall, handsome, pencil-thin moustache, gleaming half-boots, and a uniform obviously tailored for him and impeccably pressed - he should have been in full Hussar kit. He ceremoniously handed us our documents, all duly stamped, saluted, and called to the guards at the exit gates. They called something back (neither of us spoke Magyar) and he drew himself up and shouted at them. Both sets of exit gates were opened for us, to our amazement and that of the other people who clearly had been waiting for some time, and off we drove as the exit guards presented arms. Why we were given the VIP treatment, I can't imagine.
Pentium
Digital Matter
I've been to Belgrade once and I didn't find the traffic crazy at all. I've been to both Italy and France, and the drivers are much worse there.Heh heh you haven't been to Belgrade then.
But the craziest traffic I've ever seen was in Cairo. Even the locals admit that once you can drive in Cairo, you can drive anywhere.
Nice story, Mirc
