Glamorous Names For Your Job

I'm a freelance computer technician specializing in the testing of interfaces, keyboard-mouse response systems, and advanced computer graphics.

In other words, I play video games all day. :p
 
Tank_Guy#3 said:
Are there any glamorous names that you can associate with your job? If so, what are they? They can be names that are somewhat in circulation or ones that you've made up yourself.

In the winter I'm a Master of the Custodial Arts; (I know it's from Half Baked)

Actual Job: Custodian, or a Janitor if you want to be a D!CK about it. Though the official job title is castodian. (Yes there is a difference, janitors just clean, custodians clean and repair/replace things that break).


In the summer I'm a Small Aquatic Lifeform Attractor Distribution Specialist.

Bait Shop Attendant.

What are yours?
Click to expand...

Cardiothoracic Intensivist...

Oh, wait... that's my real title! :p
 
rmsharpe said:
"Consultant."
Click to expand...
There's a guy who is in car, and drive on a small mountain road. Suddenly, he has to stop because a flock of sheeps is blocking the way. The guy is not in a rush, so he get out of the car, and go to the shepherd, and tell him.
"Let's play a game. If I find how many sheeps you have, you'll give me a sheep". The shepherds agrees. "Well... you have... 475 sheeps!" "That's it, exactly it! You can take a sheep".
The guy takes it, and the shepherd says "Let's play again, if I guess your job you give my animal back to me". The guy agress. "You are a consultant"
"That's it! How did you guess?"
"Well, that's easy. You come to me when I was not asking for anything. You ask me to pay for an information I already knew. And you know nothing of what you are talking about. Now give me back my dog!"
 
This summer I worked as a MSA analyser, database programmer and translator. I.e., I copied and pasted numbers in Excel-docs, did a small program with access db:s, and translated a one-page rule list for the department:)

Last year I was the manager of my own company, i.e. self-employed, contracted, commission based pay, direct salesman. Still too fancy? I knocked on doors asking people for money:)
 
Although i am the Alcohol manger at weekends, i some times collect trollys, when i am doing this i like to be known as Trondeler consolidation techniqtion
 
:lol: Nice one Steph. Those consultant stories are often waged in my direction. For, although I said I was a corporate loan shark, I am actually a finance consultant.

The story is quite comic but it's inaccurate. The simple point where it falls down is that the consultant approached the sheep farmer. In fact it is quite the opposite, corporate clients approach consultants usually because they feel they need someone to do such counting. It is they who ask for their sheep being counted because often they must submit the records of their sheep keeping in a (business) language they do not speak. Or they cannot see that they in fact have too many sheep to be truly efficient and competitive, or that perhaps they are grazing their sheep in the wrong fields and selling them in the wrong market.

Now I'm off to try and count some pigs for a goat herder and hope to get my metaphors straight by the time I draft my email to them. :wavey:
 
Head of software development....

well I'm just a lowly PHP-coder at the moment, but since I'm the only one (safe a trainee), I'm Head :king:
 
Shearcher of Higher Education and Enlightenment

UNI Student
 
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