The Immortal Dr Strangeloves narrative continues
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Oh my children, the Holy Bomb has shown the way. After learning the secrets of Alphabet, we have means to trick the demonspawn out of their technologies. However, we should not be pleased merely with those technologies that we can lure from Mali
oh no. We shall next study the arts of the sea, and cunningly entice other demonspawn to sell us the rope we shall use to hang them. As our libraries begin producing the anticipated great people to aid our cause, we must resist the temptation to build acadmies and other such niceties
for now. These great people can provide an instant technology, whose trading multiplies its value immensely. Even the greatest academy ever conceived could never produce so many beakers in what we are trying to make as short of a game as possible. We shall, however, study literature since the Bomb has provided us marble deposits which can aid building a Great Library that will produce even more great bulb-ers. This world wonder is completed in 515AD (t202), is dedicated to U235 and thus no other world wonders can ever compare to its holiness and we shall avoid waking the wrath of the gods by hubris, thus we shall not even attempt to build any other world wonder. We shall build a national epic in the same city (Tiwanaku) to speed up generation of great scholars.
We have learned to sail the seas (Optics) in 860AD. Our caravels begin sailing the seas, and on the high seas meet a demonspawn calling himself Mao Zedong. This demonspawn is eager to sell us the secrets of Feudalism, horsebackriding and construction for technologies we have already gotten bored with. To sweeten the deal, we ask what else would make this deal work, and he offers his world map. We pretend as if this is of little importance to us, thanking him and accepting it graciously. We now have located all of the demonspawn in the world, and our maps are first to prove that the world is round. Consequently, our sailors need no longer fear falling off the edge of the earth and thus are willing to sail at breakneck speeds the Bomb calls us to (+1 movement). The order is given: make contact with the remaining demonspawn as quickly as the winds allow. Napoleon, Isabella, Peter, and Alexander they call themselves. We call them Toast.
After a round or two of trading, the Inca are firmly established as technology leaders. Inca are first to Liberalism and take Astronomy, dreaming of ships to find the hiding demonspawn and deal them the judgement of the Bomb. Nationalism was considered, but astro was more beakers. In retrospect, since only 4 galleons were ever built, many turns could have been saved by taking nationalism instead.
Oh well, observatories werent a total waste since we do have to tech all the way to fission+rocketry.
We build a great university called Oxford in a city called New York (t307-1496AD), because this city has the greatest number of mature cottages plus a lot of gold. Too bad the Great Library is in a different city
but that will soon cease to be useful anyhow. This date does not please The Immortal Dr Strangelove, however. But other priorities required greater attention, and even TIDS cannot do everything at once. So what were we doing instead?
We were taking advantage of the technology lead over Demonspawn to build a mighty army consisting almost exclusively of Cavalry, and a nascent navy.
Montezuma is still in the stone ages. However, we calculate that (a) Aztec lands would cost too much maintenance; (b) Aztecs are no threat to us because they are so backwards and all civs are Furious with them; and (c) The second commandment states: Thou shallt not Nuke thine own continent. So Aztecs can wait. Mali is targeted.
By the time our forces are ready, our open borders was used to scout the Friendly enemy carefully. Despite having discovered Chemistry, only 3 grenadiers were built in all of Mali, the rest being skirmishers (LOL) and Longbow and a knight or two.
Operation Cakewalk is scheduled to begin in 1466AD. Invasion from the main Incan lands in the East. We will ignore (for now) the two Mali cities in the far east, as they are so crappy they will cost Mansa more than they are worth --making the insult of their presence somewhat more tolerable. Just keep a couple cavs nearby just in case those LBs try to leave their cities. In the 3 western cities, in Saldins land (plus Ollayantamb, where we have a Forbidden Palace), we shall do likewise
keep a couple cavs for defensinve actions. Our forces will be concentrated in a spike that we shall drive through the heart of Malinese territory, attacking Djenne (due east of NY floodplain/gold city), and then split to attack north (Goa) and South (Timbuktu) simultaneously. Loss of these cities should cause the Mailinese empire to collapse like a house of cards.
As most Cakewalks seem to go
this was a bit more like a climb than a walk and with a lot less cake than originally anticipated. After taking Djenne, the Malinese quickly rallied to to front, making it unwise to split the forces. Our seafood is pillaged in the first turn of war, but we dont care
what we do care about is that a grenadier and two knights have landed next to Washington defended by 1 Axeman and an honorguard of 1 Quechua. So some of the attacking cavalry are peeled off the stack to defend the unexpected attack on Washington, which they do admirably (no losses), but are severely wounded and require some healing time. Our now-diminished stack quickly head to Goa in total, since Goa is judge easier than Timbuktu, and this leaves the demonspawn capitol pretty isolated anyhow. Goa falls quickly with lots of bloodshed on both sides, but more demon blood than sacred Incan blood is spilled this day. A quick calculation is made: Malis best troops are eliminated, we have healed cavalry in Djenne and Washington, and can send our cav reserves from the west coast (grens now can defend the west). Without siege, with a bit of luck, we should be able to overwhelm the Pike/LB defenders in Timbuktu. We have judiciously chosen Withdraw-chance-enhancing promotions for many cavalry, anticipating the day we run out of siege (or run faster than siege, rather). Out of first 4 attacks, 2 die and 2 withdraw. The remaining cavalry kill their opponents but suffer severe damage. If not for the ability to heal while promoting, Timbuktu would stand. Yet the Bomb aids those who follow its path. Our final attack the following turn loses no units, kills the final 4 defenders, at odds of about 75% each. Do you feel lucky punk?
Having dealt a devastating blow to Mali, we sell peace and gain Constitution and Sci Meth (1520AD). This is evidence that they are truly demonspawn, that they are able to pull ahead in tech during an all out war for survival! If you need further evidence
they do not retire, suffer a computer crash, or just drop connection as a true human would certainly do at this point
(inside joke at multiplayer civvers expense). Isabella may have been human
she seemingly just emptied her cities letting Alex take them (trying to sabotage the natural order of things for the superior civs in a well-known human pattern), thus she cheats us out of the joy of venting our almighty wrath upon her.
We have learned the secrets of steel, and begin reloading for the dessert. We also study physics, because the icon has nice pictures of unleashing atomic powers, plus wed like to get another GS. But alas, the Bomb is quick to punish our arrogance, allowing demonspawn to arrive there first. But the Bomb truly cares for the faithful, and provides numerous technology trades for this technology in consolation.
Operation Cannon Fodder begins in 1598AD, with the intent of completely annihilating Mali with Cav/cannons. Longbows and crossbows and pikes fall in great numbers. Even the few grens that Mali can build do not stand up to the attack. Things look good for a rapid conquest, when Mali invents rifles. We have enough cannons to finish one, two, three more peripheral cities, before signing a cease fire. TIDS thinks: I dont need 450 gold for peace. I want the option to attack again as soon as my artillery are ready. Cease fire ONLY. And then he forgot and started counted 10 turns waiting patiently to be able to attack again. War is declared in 1670AD, fighting now with arty and rifles and cavs against all riflemen (not taking his gold meant he could upgrade everything in one turn). But numbers now are heavily in our favor, and artillery cannot be countered. Malinese empire eliminated 1688AD.
Warning: your land area has exceeded the domination limits. WTH!!!! Oh no! population is at 44% and domination victory occurs at 48%, too! Why do I never pay attention to these kinds of things???
At least the Bomb has provided these warnings and I can be sure to keep population low enough until I can build ICBMs.
Oh my children
the rest of this history is simply the fulfillment of a pre-ordained destiny. Beeline fission, start building that Wonder of Wonders
the World Project called Manhatten Project. Fun
in other lives I never would even consider building this one, thinks TIDS.
Then beeline to Rocketry. Then 0% research to accumulate cash for buying ICBMs (but foolishly bought a couple factories first before coming to my senses). Only two of the holy nine were built organically, the remainder rushed through Universal Sifferage. Technologies sold to the demon spawn for cash reduced their livespans by a couple turns as well. Time for the demonspawn to be sacrificed on the altar of The Bomb.
The demonspawn in Sparta have provided us with a great many benefits. They have earned the honor of being first.
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Russians
what are they good for? See answer below:
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We wouldnt want the Chinese being jealous
. They get the Bronze:
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And crazy Monte
you want tribute? Here it comes:
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And the Little General gets even Littler:
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Alex
you dont think I would forget your capitol, do you? This one ought to put me over the domination threshold (or rather put you all under
. 6 feet under, that is):
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Now to kill as many demonspawn as possible:
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And to clear Aparta for our invasion
that Stonehange thang
Ive always wanted one . Time to take it.
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Might as well take Beijing, too. Why not?
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And the gates of heaven have been unlocked. The Incan people experience the Rapture of being favored by the Bomb. All others are judged unworthy and doomed to an eternal perdition. And so it was, in the Year of Our Bomb 1840. The world may be created by Jesusin, but it is ruled by The Bomb.
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Thanks Jesusin, I had lot of fun with this one, it was... a BLAST! (nine, blasts, technically). I did think that having the original continent sufficient size to claim domination was a bit of a disappointment. However, since I was not going for "fastest" or "highest scoring" anyhow, I shouldn't complain.
Thanks especially for no raging barbs.
Dr Strangelove...
Riding off into the sunset...
The tech path and dates:
Is there something you have learnt and you'd like to share?
I had forgotten that I had most other cities supporting the cause by building wealth and running merchants, and one of them had somehow caught up with my GP farm and produced a GP. Not the end of the world, since I conveyed him to a neighbor on a trade mission and was able to move my cultural slider all the way to 100%, but it did cost me about 6 or 8 turns at the end.
