heres a few amusing little anecdotes!

[stellar converter]

heres a few amusing little anecdotes!

i was walking with my family in walmart today, looking for j.b. weld, when someone came over the p.a. system and said this:

"Attention Walmart customers, Cameron is gay."

<hr>(i dont know if the bar thingie'll work, but ill put it there anyway)

(see fig 1-1)
my friend and i were walking home from school yesterday, and we were approaching a crossing guard. she asked if my friend was going to cross, and he said no, so the lady went and sat down. he turned right onto sweetwater, and about 20 feet later crossed the street.

<hr>

it gets better

<hr>

the next day, we come to same place: 37th ave. and sweetwater(37th goes north onto sweetwater, but is not through street: ill make a pic at bottom). she asked my friend if he was going to cross, and he said yes.

she went out with her stop sign, and stopped traffic, and my friend says:

"uh...nevermind"(hes still standing on the corner)

he turns right, and crosses 20 feet later(about 3 1/3 yards, for all you commies).

meanwhile, im on the other side of 37th, taking a page from this smilies book, and doing one of these numbers: !

she calls out to me:

"its not funny"

<hr>

one of my other friends is walking through cactus park, when mike carroll, who also lives on 37th, says to him:

"hey adam, wanna drop some acid?"

adam says:

"what, on the ground?"

lol.

<hr>

the other day, there were some kids in cactus park(by moonvalley hs) on bikes shooting kids with squirt guns! lol

<hr>

fig 1-1
..................l
sweetwater(mph=35)l
------------------^-----------
........l^>>>>>>>>>.......
........l^.................
........lpath of scott siler

( i know the things wont line up, but if you qoute this message, you'll be able to see it.)

you rockers keep it hard-core!!!

 

[scorch]

well i have a story kinda like that.

i work at New World, a supermarket.
on easter sunday, we were closed, but we still had ppl working to clean everything.
on our break, we were all out the front eating all this **** off the shelves, and peopel would come up, 'are you open' and we go 'nah', and they would leave.

then this old lady comes up, and is going to ask, and this boonga of a guy goes 'nah nah, were close ah' and she goes 'sure' and our boss goes 'yes were closed' but she wouldn't believe us, so we were all craking up at her, and she went into the shop, and was going 'are u sure ur not pulling my leg, u would get in to lots of trouble u know'... **** it was funny.

 

[GenghisK]

You want some? Here you are. They are 100% true.

Accidental Accident Reports
What a Little Grammar Mistake Can Do

The following quotes taken from the Toronto News and are actual statements
from insurance forms where car drivers tried to summarize accident details
in as few words as possible. Such instances of faulty writing serve to
confirm that grammer bloopers can be highly entertaining.

1. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't
have.

2. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intent.

3. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

4. In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

5. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did
not see the other car.

6. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and
had an accident.

7. I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

8. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

9. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place
where no sign had ever appeared before, making me unable to avoid the
accident.

10. I told the police I was not injured, but upon removing my hair, I found
that I had a fractured skull.

11. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the
road when I struck him.

12. I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the hood
of my car.

13. The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with
a big mouth.

14. I was thrown from my car as it left the road, and was later found in a
ditch by some stray cows.

15. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

16. I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my
head through it.

17. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I struck the
pedestrian.

18. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before
I hit him.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

20. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

21. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.


And our personal favorite...

22. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
and headed over the embankment.

------------------
Genghis K.