how do you make civs start out at war

I assume you mean through the editor?

Well, first of all, questions like these are better suited for the Creation and Customization forum. But to answer your question, there are two options for that:

1- The less complicated way. Go to scenario properties > locked alliances, and put let's say France in one alliance, and Spain in the other. Then set the two alliances to be at war with each other. The downside to this is that France and Spain will be permanently at war with each other.

2- See here. This one is obviously more complicated, and requires a fixed map.
 
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