Moai_Spammer
Ave, True to Caesar!
I've been thinking about this topic a bit after giving ChineseWarlord some tips on his first story. I realized at this point that "Holy crap I've been here for 3 years", even though it felt like just yesterday that I joined the subforum. This thought spurred me to reread my first story, as well as other stories (before my first Hiatus) that I can remember off the top of my head (I use to run like 10+ stories at a time so yeah). I decided to review the stories themselves and to see how I've improved. Three years is a long time, lets how I've come so far.
Siddhartha of India: The Civ 4 Buddhist challenge made Jul 24, 2013, at age 12
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=503610
This sucks. This one really really sucks. Most of the "story" is just little blurbs about what's happening, sometimes attempted in narrative format. The comedy is Lack luster, to say the least. Most of it is just references to other things (typically MLP:FIM). So I wouldn't really call it comedy, it's more of an informal citation that was attempted as a joke. This story really is pitiful, with at the beginning the only poster being me creating ungodly 6+ posts at a time. Many things here are wrong hisorically, for example I constantly use the Bhagavad Gita as a Buddhist holy book, when in reality it is a Hindu holy book. Really, don't check this one out unless your a masochist. Though if you are a masochist, I'd up the ante and say read it while playing E.T. on the Atari 2600. Sounds like a whole lot of frickin fun, right?
Justinian's Conquests: The Tale of Byzantium and other iterations made Jul 28, 2013, at age 12
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=504355
Let's get the first problem outta the way with this one. It restarts. Like all the f-ing time. I never got more than like 3 updates out until something happened that made me restart or I wanted to restart. I knew this was a problem with the story then, but it's only more painfully evident now, in retrospect.
While the story is still portrayed through short blurbs, it's actually story this time and not just information about the picture or a reference to MLP:FIM (though trust me, this one still has a cringe worthy amount) The comedy has improved ever so slightly, but it's still more of an informal citation. Overall, it's not awful, it's just not very good either. What really kills it though is all the restarts. I wouldn't recommend it, unless you wanna have a laugh about my prepubescent incarnation.
From Tsars to Stars:The tale of Russia made Sep 07, 2013 at age 12
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=509032
Now this is what I'm talking about, this is something GOOD. References take a backseat comedic role, ponies don't reach cringe worthy level of overuse. It sticks good enough with history considering I was like 12 when I wrote it. There's an actual story this time around, and it's not that too god damned shabby. The only sad part about this one was at came around the time I did my first Hiatus. So I never got to finish it. I still have the save for it actually, but I don't have the same version of DoC anymore on my good laptop. Definitely recommend this one, as one can really tell it's my first major stepping stone to my much greater works such as City between the Rivers and The Sapphire of Gaul. Despite my more recent stories being better, this one still holds a warm place in my heart as the first time I really felt like my story was GOOD, before that it was more about how many ponies I could shove into it, and this story marks me being more mature as a writer. Check it out if you want a Moai_Spammer classic!
so, what do you think of your first stories? how has your time on civ4 s&t improved your writing? make sure to tell, as it's always intesting (at least, I think so) to get a creator's opinion on their own works.
edit: also, notice a trend with the titles? yup, they were always the same format, [Eye catching text] [colon] [subtitle telling what the story is]. Just a little quirk of early Moai I suppose.
Siddhartha of India: The Civ 4 Buddhist challenge made Jul 24, 2013, at age 12
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=503610
This sucks. This one really really sucks. Most of the "story" is just little blurbs about what's happening, sometimes attempted in narrative format. The comedy is Lack luster, to say the least. Most of it is just references to other things (typically MLP:FIM). So I wouldn't really call it comedy, it's more of an informal citation that was attempted as a joke. This story really is pitiful, with at the beginning the only poster being me creating ungodly 6+ posts at a time. Many things here are wrong hisorically, for example I constantly use the Bhagavad Gita as a Buddhist holy book, when in reality it is a Hindu holy book. Really, don't check this one out unless your a masochist. Though if you are a masochist, I'd up the ante and say read it while playing E.T. on the Atari 2600. Sounds like a whole lot of frickin fun, right?
Justinian's Conquests: The Tale of Byzantium and other iterations made Jul 28, 2013, at age 12
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=504355
Let's get the first problem outta the way with this one. It restarts. Like all the f-ing time. I never got more than like 3 updates out until something happened that made me restart or I wanted to restart. I knew this was a problem with the story then, but it's only more painfully evident now, in retrospect.
While the story is still portrayed through short blurbs, it's actually story this time and not just information about the picture or a reference to MLP:FIM (though trust me, this one still has a cringe worthy amount) The comedy has improved ever so slightly, but it's still more of an informal citation. Overall, it's not awful, it's just not very good either. What really kills it though is all the restarts. I wouldn't recommend it, unless you wanna have a laugh about my prepubescent incarnation.
From Tsars to Stars:The tale of Russia made Sep 07, 2013 at age 12
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=509032
Now this is what I'm talking about, this is something GOOD. References take a backseat comedic role, ponies don't reach cringe worthy level of overuse. It sticks good enough with history considering I was like 12 when I wrote it. There's an actual story this time around, and it's not that too god damned shabby. The only sad part about this one was at came around the time I did my first Hiatus. So I never got to finish it. I still have the save for it actually, but I don't have the same version of DoC anymore on my good laptop. Definitely recommend this one, as one can really tell it's my first major stepping stone to my much greater works such as City between the Rivers and The Sapphire of Gaul. Despite my more recent stories being better, this one still holds a warm place in my heart as the first time I really felt like my story was GOOD, before that it was more about how many ponies I could shove into it, and this story marks me being more mature as a writer. Check it out if you want a Moai_Spammer classic!
so, what do you think of your first stories? how has your time on civ4 s&t improved your writing? make sure to tell, as it's always intesting (at least, I think so) to get a creator's opinion on their own works.
edit: also, notice a trend with the titles? yup, they were always the same format, [Eye catching text] [colon] [subtitle telling what the story is]. Just a little quirk of early Moai I suppose.