You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a chinese restaurant.
Yes.
You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.
No.
You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.
No.
You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.
Yes, but then almost everyone has one.
You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.
Yes.
You drive a Honda.
I don't drive 
.
You like to eat chicken feet.
No.
You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
No.
You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.
I hear I turn red rather quickly when drinking, so yes.
Side note: I think girls look significantly hotter (no pun intended) when they're red from alcohol.
You look like you are 18.
Well I am only turning 20 this year, so it isn't surprising the answer is yes.
You always look up at women, if you are male.
No.
You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.
Yes.
You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.
No.
You sing Karaoke.
Yes. Love it.
You entire house is covered with tile.
If you mean on the floor and not the walls, then yes.
You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.
No.
You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.
Mostly, no.
You eat family dinners with the TV on.
Yes.
You love watching Connie Chung.
Who?
You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.
Quite.
You can't bear to throw away things.
Yes.
You are an engineer.
No.
Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.
No.
You hate getting B's.
Yes, but then I hate getting C's and D's more 
Your house smells like preserved fish.
No.
Your house smells like chinese medicine.
No.
You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.
Yes.
You've never kissed your mom or dad.
Yes. Actually can't imagine ever doing something like this.
You've never hugged your mom or dad.
As above.
Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
Not that I know.
You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
I'm myopic but it's minor enough that I can go without spectacles or contacts.
You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
Not sure when fifth grade is. Worn them since I was 6.
You had a bowl cut before.
No.
You go to yard sales often.
No.
If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for more then 5 mintues.
No.
Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.
No.
You love to "buck" the system.
No.
If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged, you go your merry way.
Actually when I'm overcharged I mostly just go away with a shrug. When I'm undercharged I return the amount the guy.
Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
Yes.
You get a rush from getting a good deal.
No. Why would I?
You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for that car")
No.
You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
No.
You love to use coupons.
No. They're too much hassle.
You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice from concentrate.
No. I wouldn't even mind drinking it straight.
You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.
Yes.
You take showers at night.
Yes.
You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.
Yes.
You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to produce you and your siblings.
Yes, LOL.
You've never seen your parents kiss.
Yes.
You've never seen your parents hug.
No.
Your grandmother lives with you and your family.
No.
You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.
Yes.
You tip 15% or less.
Yes.
You never order dessert at restaurants.
No.
You always have water only when dining out.
More often than not. But nowhere near always.
You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.
No.
Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.
Not here they don't.
You have a great love for cameras.
No.
Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.
Who? What? nvm
Your fridge stinks.
No.
Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.
Yes.
Your parents want to live with you when they are old.
No. At least I hope not.
You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
No.
You point to your nose when referring to yourself.
Often, yes.
You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
Yes. 
You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.
Waaaaaay too young to do this.
You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.
Yes, but I still do wear it most of the time.
You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
I do like blackjack.
You love to play Mahjong.
No, I'm really lousy at it.
You want to marry Chinese.
Yes.
You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.
No.
You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.
No.
Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faan nei lah?")
Yes.
You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.
No.
You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.
No.
You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.
Yes.
Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.
Yes.
Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster ("Guy Mo So")
No. There were occasions, but not many enough to remember.
You can use the words "*****" and "chinaman" with impunity.
Yes.
Your clothes smell like fried foods.
No.
You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.
No. I talk loudly very often but definitely not all the time and not as loud as some chinamen I know. 
You hate eating cheese.
No.
