As someone over 40 who has had good times and bad times learning this game, there are two different strategies I would recommend.
Strategy A - learning what techs do, how units work, how workers work
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1. Play at chieftain level
__why? less to worry about and still able to finish the game with good chance of winning
2. Select connected world, no continents
--why? navies are not important in this game, keep it simple
3. Don't go wonder crazy, only build 2..3/era
__why? As advance there is no why you will be able to build many. As you get to top you may only build one or two at first.
4. Trades are ok, but focus on mechanics first
__ why? simple you need something to trade with.
5. Build your cities 3..5 tiles apart
__why? each player has different favorites. Try the different spacings so you experience the difference, don't just go for OCP, [Open City Placement], of 5 tiles apart.
6. Don't try to build everything available
__why? you will be much more effective if you learn to have some variety in city builds. You can't afford all.
7. Try some wars
__why? At higher levels wars are important. There is nothing like playing with a few to see how warfare works.
8. Limit civs to 3 others
__ why? You don't want to worry about trading at first nor fighting, you need to learn how to build cities, move units, and keep your civ prosperous.
Strategy B-- learning: trading and diplomacy
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1. After you get above chieftan leve, then try trading. AI [computer moves] will always offer uneven trades, where they come off much better than you do. Don't fight the system, but do learn to use it. See Nethod's guide for a way of evaluating the tech trades.
2. Play with 7 other civs and you will be forced to learn trading and pact making.
3. You can't be 100% builder, i.e., no military, or 100% warlord, i.e. all military, so begin to figure out when you will build and when you will fight.
4. Use the civopedia inside the game instead of any manuals.
How to have fun:
1. Check out the FAQ section. It is best for learning, forget the manual.
2. You might consider Conquests, it offers short games at different levels. It is not the same as a long game, i.e. epic game, but it will allow completion in a few days.
3. Post your questions on the forum, no question is dumb. You will get good solid answers. You won't find anyone giving bad advice.
4. Limit play time to 2..3 hours, more than that is too exhausting.
5. Checkout the war academy for aids in jumping levels.
Anyway, welcome and don't sweat it. It is a fun, but addictive game.
PF