Here's some great quotes from Father Ted,
Dougal: God, Ted. D'you remember that feller who was so good at fashion they had to shoot him?
Dougal: I'm no good at judging the size of crowds Ted, but I'd say there's about seventeen million of them out there
Mrs Doyle: Won't you have some cake, Father? It's got cocaine in it. Oh no, hang on, it's not cocaine, is it. What do I mean now? - the little things... Raisins!
Ted: Now concentrate this time, Dougal. These (pointing to plastic cows on table) are very small; those (pointing out of the window) are far away...
Ted: I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do. Whereas priests...
...More drink?
Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.
Ted: What was it Jack used to say about the needy? He had a term for them.
Dougal: A shower of b*st*rds.
Dougal: (trying to pray) Hail Mary who art in heaven.......
Ted: Hallowed.
Dougal: Oh yeah. Hallowed Be....
Ted: Thy Name...
Dougal: Papa Don't Preach........
Ted: Dougal, you know you can praise the lord with sleep.
Dougal: Really Ted? You can praise him in lots of ways, like that time you said that I could praise him just by leaving the room.
Ted: Yes, that was a good one !
