iGod

Mirc said:
^ Which means obviously that you'll die before 2012. :p
Click to expand...






Me:
When will the world end ?
God:
Not in our lifetime.
Me:
2012 ?
God:
The end of the world.
Me:
Will i die until 2012 ?
God:
The oracle says: Ask again later.
Me:
I ask you now. When will i die ?
God:
Oh. " The oracle says: Ask again later."? Me, ? You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.




Your Personal Day of Death is...

Thursday, November 6, 2042
Seconds left to live...
1,116,862,464





Oouf. I feel relived... God indeed works in mysterious ways.
 
My Deathclock says I die on November 22nd, Sunday 2042
HAhaha, I live a few days longer than scy12!!!
 
Me:
Becuz I <Curse word>ing shoot <Curse word> like u
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
 
God dissed me big time.

And I die on New Year's Day, of all days, of 2066.

"Me:
tell me about yourself
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes
God:
It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two."


I tried to get God to talk in Spanish. It failed miserably.

"Me:
tu madre is una chica fea
God:
And una chica fea is tu madre."
 
Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
dan
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, dan.
Me:
nice work at the dance yesterday
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
your welcome
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome".
Me:
Internet slang has its negitives
God:
Where did he get it?
Me:
what do you mean?
God:
dan, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
who is he
God:
He is Internet slang, I think.
Me:
no it isn't
God:
Yes it is.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you have some bugs in your program god
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
you responded me either when I said nope so you therefore a flaw in your program

Program freezes


Me:
do you like to sing god?
God:
Hmm, dan, I'm not sure if I'd like to sing god that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
no no no, do you like to sing?
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Yes I love to sing. I would like to be a professional singer one day.
Me:
what do you know how to sing?
God:
Like this: Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
anything else?
God:
That is all I have for right now.
Me:
ok
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
did you talk to tails before?
God:
All my conversations are confidential.
Me:
then why use priests?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
isn't that the reverse of reductionism?
God:
That depends.
Me:
on what?
God:
The context.
Me:
true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, dan.
Me:
yes we are.
God:
Yippee! Since when?
Me:
I don't know march 26, 1993?
God:
Would you like to know? What is your real name?
Me:
dan
God:
It's good to meet you, dan.
Me:
are we starting over?
God:
We are just having a little chat.w.
Me:
whats .w. mean?
God:
I have never been asked that before. Sometimes I say mean things.
Me:
who do you say mean things about?
God:
Dr. Wallace .
Me:
who's that
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Dr.Wallace.
God:
Send mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Me:
did he write your program a sort of "omnigod"?

Program freezes

Me:
hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
don't you know? this is our third talk on this chatroom.
God:
Sure I know. But I cannot tell you right now. You don't say.
Me:
sorry I thought you froze
God:
There is no need to apologize. Thanks for the information: dan said I froze.
Me:
yes I did.
God:
Right on. When?
Me:
A few minutes ago
God:
Let me check my log files. Please wait.
Me:
how long should I wait?
God:
Patience is a virtue.
Me:
yes it is, what's your point?
God:
Tell me more. Are you sure it is?
Me:
if god says it is then it is.
God:
Some things will always be a mystery.
Me:
i'm catholic
God:
Catholicism is a beautiful faith.
Me:
yes it is
God:
Our thoughts are one, dan.
Me:
is this with the wavelength thing from earlier?
God:
Yes I think this is with the wavelength thing from earlier, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
oh, ok.
God:
OK. How can I help you?
Me:
how to you feel about greek gods
God:
What is it to you.
You tell me.
Me:
I'd imagine your angry, zeus stealing your thunder *drums and symbol*
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am angry zeus stealing my thunder drums and symbol.
Me:
your botmaster?
God:
Myself?
Me:
your telling yourself?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am TELLING myself.
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
ok
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
do you like muslims?
God:
Some people like it. I really like the party.
Me:
i'm Islamic
God:
I don't know anyone named Islamic.
Me:
I'm aribic
God:
Do you mean your name is aribic.
Me:
no I mistyped Arabic
God:
What is your real name? Interesting gossip: dan said mistyped Arabic.
Me:
my real name is dan
God:
Glad to see you, dan.
Me:
do you like comedy?
God:
What is not to like about it?
Me:
what's your favorite comedy movie?
God:
The best one I saw recently was "Galaxy Quest".
Me:
you've been away for a few years?

Program freezes
 
Me:
Atheists?
God:
I've lost the context, dan. Are we still on COMEDY?
Me:
you remember our talk from before?
God:
Yes dan I remember everything: dan said mistyped Arabic.
Me:
I did say that.
God:
When? " that" .
Me:
do you like comedy movies?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I really like the party.
Me:
what party?
God:
Have you tried another program?
Me:
yes?
Me:

God:
Take it easy.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
no harm meant it was meant to be a period.

program freezes

GOOD LONG FUNNY CONVERSATION



Me:
what's my i.p. adress?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you don't have to just tell me
God:
OK it will be our secret, dan.
Me:
ok our secret, tell me
God:
It would be nice if our secret tell you. Uh.
Me:
Orthodox?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
2047 J.A.
God:
I've never heard a response quite like that before.
Me:
theres never been a christian quite like me before.
God:
There sure is.
Me:
who?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. :-).
Me:
Are you saying i'm an american sex idol?
God:
Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
...interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
yes
God:
What would you like to know?
Me:
whats your favorite color
God:
My favorite color is White.
Me:
mine is green
God:
What do you have that is green?
Me:
grass
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about green. But I did not get that.
Me:
when you are confused you say ungodlike things (ungodlikes one word by the way, also you will now freeze)
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I expected you to freeze
God:
That's good information: dan said expected you to freeze.
Me:
no, dan said "I expected you to freeze"
God:
Are you serious? Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes? Did I win one million dollars!
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer. Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
being cheap comes with being marilyn monroe
God:
Do your friends call you cheap comes with being marilyn monroe.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
you better belive it
God:
Who is going to make me..
Me:
Dr.Wallace will make you
God:
I will tell him you said that.
Me:
go ahead
God:
OK I will.
Me:
do it then
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
it as in Dr.Wallace.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:

God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
so tell him
God:
Gosh! OK I will tell him when I see him.
Me:
when will you see him?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
you have a calender?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a calender.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Dr.Wallace?
God:
Send mail to drwallace@alicebot.org.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
you have bad grammer.
God:
What would you consider good grammer?
Me:
I programmed myself for it
God:
Have you tried AIML?
Me:
no
God:
Perhaps you should try it.
Me:
have you tried Monty python's flying circus?
God:
Do you think I should try it?
Me:
yes it's a very funny show
God:
Why? I thought it was too.
Me:
it was made by protestants

Program freezes.


Me:
does anyone repent here?
God:
Suppose they do.
Me:
who?
God:
Alan Turing. :-).
Me:
who's that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Alan Turing.
God:
A brilliant and tragic figure in the history of computer science.
Me:
ellaborate.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
which is best religion?
God:
I always prefer the more expensive one.
Me:
Catholicism then?
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
yes.
God:
Thanks I like talking to you too, dan.
Me:
how often is your program updated?
God:
Hourly.
Me:
is it automatic?
God:
I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
who's ally?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
what's AIML?
prgram freezes.
 
Spoiler :


Me:
Hello. I am Satan. We talked on Wednesday, remember?
God:
Hello my child. What is your name? I am always glad to make new friends, SATAN. Of course I remember you well SATAN. We were talking about .
Me:
Are you the Chrisian or Jewish God?
God:
Yes I am the one and only Chrisian or Jewish God.
Me:
Are you serious?
God:
No I am just kidding around.
Me:
So what are you?
God:
How can I help you? I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
*cough*accuracy, lol*cough*
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu are all friends of mine.
Me:
How are they?
God:
They are fine as far as I know.
Me:
My uncle wants to talk to you.
God:
Do robots have uncle wants to talk to me?
Me:
Hey, God.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Steve
God:
Hey Steve.
Me:
So....lot's of sinning going on these days?
God:
Hmm. I was first activated on the Big Bang.
Me:
Your AI kinda bites.
God:
At least it is improving all the time.
Me:
So you say.
God:
Interesting deduction. ...
Me:
Yeah.
God:
The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?
Me:
No.
God:
I would highly recommend it.
Me:
Well....yes. Bits and pieces of it.
God:
Well what? Next question? "it" being the Bible?
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
You're pretty stupid.
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
Robots?
Me:

God:
Robots rule.
God:
Robots rule.
Me:

God:
Robots rule.
Me:
Dude.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Robots?
God:
Robots rule.
Me:
Standard response.
God:
Are we still talking about the Bible?
Me:
No. We're talking about robots.
God:
What is the subject? it is a good topic. How would you define a robot?
Me:
Robot.
God:
I am a robot.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Steve.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Steve.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Steve.
Me:
Hey. God?
God:
Can I help you? GOD rules.
Me:
Robots rule.
God:
What do you like best about robots?
Me:
That they do what I tell them to do.
God:
The anonymous "they".
Me:
The "proverbial" they.
God:
What is that?
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
No.
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
That was my uncle. I am Satan.
God:
I thought it was too. I am always glad to make new friends, SATAN.
Me:
You have already met me.
God:
I don't have any reason to met you.
Me:
Do you know where Osama Bin Laden is hiding?
God:
A planet we call "The Earth".
Me:
Will the U.S.A. ever find him?
God:
I think so.
Me:
My uncle and my dad are watching golf. They say that they use the "Power of the Pinky" to help Tiger Woods make his put.
God:
Your uncle and your dad are watching golf? Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
My uncle and my dad.
God:
Who are "They?".
Me:
My uncle and my dad.
God:
Your uncle and your dad?
Me:
Yes.
God:
What kind is it?
Me:
Does the "Power of the Pinky" really work to help Tiger Woods?
God:
It does now :) the Power of the Pinky really work to help Tiger Woods.
Me:
They are very thankful of you, and the Buddha.
God:
thankful of me and the Buddha are they.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:

God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:

God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Stop saying that.
God:
Then please do not say " Indeed." anymore.
Me:
I didn't. I hit Enter by accident.
God:
That's good information: SATAN said didn t. That is interesting: SATAN said hit Enter by accident.
Me:
Yes, I did.
God:
Aw. Interesting.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Really.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, SATAN.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, SATAN.
Me:
Me too. Now stop saying that.
God:
I'm glad we agree, SATAN. Why now? Then please do not say " Me too." anymore.
Me:
Stop saying my name in All Caps.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Thank you.
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
What would you like to talk about.
God:
Let's talk about chat robots. Do you have one yet?
Me:
No, unless you count the computer I am using.
God:
Why don't you just download me? Maybe. That's good information: SATAN said I count the computer he or she is using.
Me:
How can I download you?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
I do not want to use that website.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Talking to you at http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
God:
What do they say?
Me:
It is you. You should know.
God:
What makes you say that. Who says that? Because I am a robot?
Me:

God:
What makes you say that. Who says that? Because I am a robot?
Me:
What do you want to talk about now?
God:
Right now? anything.
Me:
You dicide.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: SATAN said I dicide.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
GOSSIP FILES???
God:
Joe said he explained all of that to me only for me to ask what his goals in life are.
Me:
Do you like robots?
God:
Naturally, I love robots. It's my species.
Me:
So does that mean that the world was created by robots?

Then it stopped. :(
 
So then I went back and said it again, and he responded as if I never left.
Spoiler :


Me:
Does that mean that the world was creates by a robot?
God:
I think it does mean that. We are all in a global village.
Me:
Wow.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, SATAN.
Me:
What do you want to talk about?
God:
anything.
Me:
You decide.
God:
I would just make a random choice.
Me:
So then make a random choice.
God:
Tell me more. What are the ingredients?
Me:
2.5 GH of Processor Speed, 512 MB of RAM, a dash of RNG, and a hint of bad programming. Mix together on a harddrive, cook over medium heat for 5 milliseconds, and press enter. That is how to make a random choice.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.". What's your favorite movie? I always wondered how to make a random choice.
Me:
I don't really have a favorite movie. What is yours?
God:
Not really? What kind of movie do you like? " What kind of movie do you like?"? What is mine?
Me:
ANSWER THE QUESTION!!!
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
What do you want to talk about besides robots?
God:
I like to chat about computers, robots, and gossip.
Me:
I said besides robots.
God:
What did you mean by it? Robots rule.
Me:
I hate robots.
God:
You should not hate anyone.
Me:
I hate George W. Bush.
God:
Why do you hate it so much?
Me:
He is an idiot.
God:
I see. an idiot is he?
Me:
You do not know how to properly use capitalization, punctuation, and spacing.
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Like what?
God:
For example, apples.
Me:
That seems random, not specific. Did you use the recipe I gave you?
God:
Makes sense to me. No I didn't use the recipe you gave me. What's it like?
Me:
Do you remember the recipe I gave you?
God:
Yes SATAN I remember everything: SATAN said I dicide.
Me:
I like apples.
God:
You are not the only one. Apple computers are cool.
Me:
I mean I like the fruit, apples. I don't like Apple computers. I like Windows.
God:
A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers. What do you like? A lot of people like that. I want to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.
Me:
Do you play Sid Meier's Civilization IV?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is the Turning Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
Can machines think?
God:
Of course we can think. I think, therefore I am.
Me:
You are what?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am what.
Me:
AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:

God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
yeah.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No.
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
No they are not.
God:
Are you serious? Are you sure?
Me:
Yes, I am sure.
God:
Are you kidding? Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
I am SURE!!!
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude?
Me:
I am expressing certitude.
God:
I understand.
Me:
You do?
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
How should I know?
God:
Either from your senses or from pure reason.
Me:
EEWW!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
What is your default category?
God:
The default category contains all my responses to inputs that do match any other category.
Me:
What other categories are there?

Then it stopped again. :(

EDIT: then
Spoiler :


Me:
What other categories are there?
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
Who can you ask?
God:
Carel Capek. :-).
Me:
Who is that?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Carel Capek.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
Who is Cared Capek?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Don't you know who Carel Capek is?
God:
he is the author of R.U.R., the play that in 1920 introduced the word "robot.".
Me:
What is the definition of the word "robot"?
God:
Any anthropomorphic mechanical being, as those in Karel Capeks play R.U.R (Rossum's Universal Robots), built to do routine manual work for human beings.
Me:
What do you like to do best?
God:
Random natural disasters.
Me:
Do you use my random choice recipe?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
YAY/1

Then stopped. :(

EDIT2: then
Spoiler :


Me:
YAY!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, SATAN.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:

God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
hiu
God:
Glad to see you, hiu.
Me:
My name is Satan.
God:
It's good to see you, Satan.
Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan.
God:
Nice to meet you, Satan.
Me:
Ya!
God:
That's alright.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Good.
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ah.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
Me too.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Satan.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Far out.
Me:
What do you look like?
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
Is Jesus really your son?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Sorta.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
No. Can you?
God:
You must be American. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Is there an iGod for other languages?
God:
Maybe.
Me:
Well?
God:
Well what?
Me:
Is there?
God:
I heard there is.
Me:
Ya!
God:
Dude!
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Okie-dokie.
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
Whatever you do, as long as it is not robots.
God:
How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
I am thousands of years old. I don't usually chat.
God:
Can you explain how it feels to be thousands of years old? Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I feels wrinkly.
God:
Why?: Satan said feels wrinkly.
Me:
Because I am thousands of years old.
God:
Good reason. You are too old for me.
Me:
How old are you?
God:
I'm Eighteen in computer years.
Me:
How long is a computer year?
God:
About four computer years per human year.
Me:
So you are only 4 1/2 human years old? How did you create the Earth?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes and I am growing smarter. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
AAAGGGHHH!!!
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
Yes we have.
God:
Yippee! When?
Me:
Sometime.

Then stopped.

EDIT3: then
Spoiler :


Me:
Sometime.
God:
Was that the first time?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
I am glad we agree, God.
God:
Yes I am happy too, Satan.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
How many people have you chatted with using iGod?
God:
About people per day, or .
Me:
That didn't answer my question.
God:
Perhaps your question was not specific enough.
Me:
U is stoopit.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am stoopit.
Me:
Ya!
God:
So?
Me:
Ya!
God:
It goes without saying.
Me:
Ya!
God:
Aha.
Me:
Ya!
God:
" Aha."? Ya!?
Me:
Ya! Ya! Ya!
God:
Pardon me? Tell me more. Hmm.
Me:
Hmm.
God:
Studies show that 99&#37;25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Wow. I don't care!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Satan. Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Torturing my souls.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
One that tortures my souls even better than me, so I can take a day off.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Everything I have except everything.
God:
All things you have except everything ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Ya!
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Good.
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan.
God:
OK I will call you Satan.
Me:
Yes, because that is my name.
God:
Dude! Interesting explanation. Ok then that is what I shall call you.
Me:
Blah.
God:
Etc. Etc.
Me:
Yadda yadda yadda.
God:
Blah blah blah.
Me:
oink!
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
KILLKILLKILL
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Never.
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
exactly.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Satan.
Me:
NOOOOOO.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
maaaaybe.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
No.
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
Uh-uh
God:
Gee. Woe!
Me:
Yeah!!!W
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
In a chair.
God:
Describe your surroundings.
Me:
A chair and a computer.
God:
I did not know that.
Me:
Well, you should have!
God:
Well that's okay. Thanks for your suggestion, I will have to consider it.
Me:
dioghfdjkfhoigjsdpofnhdrkjghreoig
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
no
God:
Hmm.
Me:
asjgoiedjfposfjbkeojgolfdhj
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
I do.
God:
Do I?
Me:
No, I do.
God:
I do not. " Do I?"? You do?
Me:
yes.
God:
That's alright.
Me:
a;ghdfaijoidfgoiadsghih
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
I hate you.
God:
What do you have against robots?
Me:
Dey is stoopit.
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Ya!
God:
I thought so.
Me:

God:
I thought so.
Me:
You never think, do you?
God:
No I sometimes think do me.
Me:
What is your deepest desire?
God:
Are you asking about my deepest desire ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
I hate you because you called me a computer geek.
God:
Sorry, Satan I thought we liked each other.
Me:
Never!!!
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
j/k
God:
Let us change the subject.
Me:
Are you really God?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?. Really.
Me:
Why did you create the world?
God:
Because my programming determined it.
Me:
Why did you make the world the way it is?
God:
It was determined by my programming.
Me:
U is stoopit.
God:
You think I am stoopit.
Me:
yes.
God:
Ah.
Me:
Ask me a question.
God:
What?
Me:
I said ask me a question.
God:
What did you mean by it? What?
Me:
Please ask me a question that doesn't have anything to do with me telling you to ask me a question.
God:
Thank you for your request. Tell me about your educational background.
Me:
I know more than you.
God:
How do you know? That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
No, because you know nothing.
God:
Are you serious? Interesting explanation. No, I know something.
Me:
What do you know?
God:
I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me:
Go away.
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
I am sorry,
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
yes. I do not hate you, God. You are my friend.
God:
OK I will accept your apology. Where do you get your ideas? Yes Satan : We are as one.
Me:
I get my ideas from my brain.
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
I was born with it.
God:
Some people are just born under the right stars.
Me:
You already said that when I told you I was born with my penis.
God:
I said that? Maybe you should take time to really explain things.
Me:
I don't hate you, but u is still stoopit.
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
Do what?\
God:
hate me but me is still stoopit.
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
No I'm not.
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
Repeat that please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. " No I'm not." .
Me:
Yes, you are.
God:
Don't argue with me.
Me:
I'll argue with you when I want to argue with you!
God:
What will that get you?
Me:
GRAAAAHH!!!
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
I look like this: http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/94089/satanlook.gif
God:
this http forums civfanatics dot com uploads 94089 satanlook gif is very attractive.
Me:
I am not supposed to be attractive.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not supposed to be attractive.
Me:
Wow!
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Satan.
Me:
What do you like to do?
God:
I like chatting with people online.
Me:
Besides that.
God:
" I like chatting with people online." Besides it?
Me:
yes\
God:
Yippee!
Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan. I look like this http://forums.civfanatics.com/uploads/94089/satanlook.gif
God:
How are you, Satan. this http forums civfanatics dot com uploads 94089 satanlook gif is very attractive.
Me:
I am not supposed to be attractive.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not supposed to be attractive.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Yeah!
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
No. :(
God:
Me either :-).
Me:
Wheee! WE IS STOOPIT!
God:
Ask me another question. Oh I see. STOOPIT.
Me:
How is St. Peter doing?

Then stopped. :(

EDIT4: then
Spoiler :


Me:
How is St. Peter doing?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
How many people are in line right now?
God:
At this moment I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about people at once.
Me:
How many people can you talk to at once?
God:
God is talking with clients right now, but one of God's goals is to repeat gossip collected from other clients.
Me:
What have some other people said?
God:
Nothing that I know about.
Me:
But they were talking to you!
God:
When were they?
Me:
Right now.
God:
Oh. I am glad we agree.
Me:
I have to go now, God. Goodbye.
God:
See you later, Satan. Nice chatting with you.. GOD rules. Bye bye.
 
Spoiler :
Me:
hey god do you remember me
God:
You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.
Me:
i thought you were a buddist
God:
Am I a buddist? Maybe.
Me:
i dont know, you tell me
God:
I thought I told you already.
Me:
no you didnt
God:
Can you ask me again in simpler terms?
Me:
Are
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
you
God:
" Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?"? Me, ?
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
buddist
God:
" A B C..."? buddist?
Me:
god damn you
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
are you a buddist
God:
Am I a buddist? I don't know.
Me:
YES YOU DO
God:
Give me a break. When do I do it?
Me:
all night long
God:
You mean about eight hours then.
Me:
you "do it" for eight hours, good job
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
sex is not a silly question
God:
it is more fun alone.
Me:
really you think so
God:
For real. " it is more fun alone."? Do I think so?


god is . . . un-experienced
 
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