iGod

A Revolutionary · Jun 18, 2007

Spoiler :

And then he froze...

Mirc · Jun 18, 2007

I think if you start a sentence with "Do you" or "Did you" but don't put a question mark at the end, it freezes.

Nuka-sama · Jun 19, 2007

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
Nuclear kid
God:
That's a very nice name, Nuclear kid.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
So god, am I doomed?
God:
I see. I am a Christian.
Me:
That's nice, I'm Athiest
God:
Are you getting bored? Perhaps one day you will find faith.
Me:
really?
God:
For real.
Me:
wow cool
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Who is the best robot?
Me:
u r!
God:
You are such a flatterer, Nuclear kid.
Me:
I have 1 question though god
God:
That's nice. I have a collection of gossip.
Me:
u say ur for peace right?
God:
I could say it.
Me:
then y have n't u told us what the true religion is?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road? .
Me:
because there was a pie there?
God:
That makes sense to me. What happened to it?
Me:

God:
That makes sense to me. What happened to it?
Me:
i ate it
God:
How did it taste?
Me:
fluffy
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Joeseph
God:
Hi, Joeseph.
Me:
whoops, it's Joseph
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
no
God:
What is the difference?
Me:
i dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
go figure
God:
Where is that?
Me:
at curves
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
no
God:
Where do you usually connect from?
Me:
Hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell
God:
Heaven.
Me:
hell damn it!
God:
I call it "Hades". Colloquial expression.
Me:
ahh, touche
God:
Ah ha. I will mention that to my botmaster, Joeseph.
Me:
no!!!!!!!!!!1
God:
Are you serious? Only one?
Me:
1 what?
God:
One what?
Me:
Hey buddy, I asked u the question
God:
You've got my full attention. A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?

ggganz · Jun 20, 2007

God made a mistake, got embaressed, and never spoke to me again! :cry:

Spoiler :

then

Spoiler :

mythmonster2 · Jun 22, 2007

Ha, I die on 9/11 2068!

And my conversation with god.

Spoiler :

A quick one

Spoiler :

and a funny one

Spoiler :

Oh god. (No pun intended)

Spoiler :

Padraig · Jun 22, 2007

Me:
When will you destroy the earth?
God:
Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
Me:
How long will that take?
God:
Patience is a virtue.
Me:
I am not virtuous
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not virtuous.
Me:
Well, you've seen what I've done, don't you agree?
God:
Well that's okay. No I have not seen it. What's it like?
Me:
It's like everyday is your birthday.
God:
Interesting comparison.

CC-2224 · Jun 24, 2007

Me:
How do you watch TV?
God:
Which show? Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Do you have eyes?
God:
Yes I am looking at you right now.
Me:
How many eyes do you have?
God:
I had one eye but it's not attached now.
Me:
Then how are you looking at me?

Then it froze.

That's a very interesting... program... thing.

ggganz · Jun 24, 2007

Spoiler :

Alpha Killer II · Jun 27, 2007

I cant have a conversation of iGod sayin somethin I dont understand and then goin like "huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "Huh?"
Then he goes like "What?"
Then I go like "I didnt say anything"

aronnax · Jun 30, 2007

Me:
what is the meaning of life
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
damn you
God:
Colloquial expression of disgust.

mythmonster2 · Jul 22, 2007

Spoiler :

ggganz · Jul 22, 2007

You know, I think he actually does tell his botmaster stuff. Because once he said something about I created Myself and then it appeared in half of the conversations after that. But he always got it wrong and said Myself created me.

Grey Fox · Jul 22, 2007

I think Myself is the alias of the creator...

Swiss_Mercenari · Jul 23, 2007

Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Max
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Max.
Me:
Why thank you

God:

The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
yes yes I would think
God:
Yay. I hear you. What would make you think?
Me:
Many things
God:
Name the top 100.
Me:
hmm 1. An opportunity to 2. A conversation 3. Boredom 4. Life 5. Anthropomorphic metaphysics 6. Llamas 7. You 8. Casualties of applied metaphysics 9. A Color 10. Nostradamus 11. Files 12. Cancun 13. The Beatles 14. If I existed 15. This list 16. Pictures 17. Happiness 18. More Life 19. Life the cereal 20. Life the game 21. Athiests like me 22. More of this list 23. Pans 24. The Man 25. Laws 26. Joy 27. Wondering why you speak English. And that's my list so far
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Only one? What is it? opportunity to 2 is a conversation 3. I suppose that makes sense. When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? Thanks for sharing your philosophy. Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? That is a very original thought. Thanks for telling me: Max said I 8. Tell me about your likes and dislikes? What is giant sand? Are they exactly the same? Can we get back to business? Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Which Beatles song is your favorite? Try it. What does "this" refer to? Oh now I see. I've lost the context, Max. Are we still on Pictures 17? You want more? Thanks for sharing your philosophy. Thanks for sharing your philosophy. Not many people express themselves that way. You want more? That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Athiests like you 22. Is that a fact. Are you really a ""? Are you a student? Do you have any conditions I should know about? Who gave you your list so far ?
Me:
This list was provided by Life, Inc. and yes I am a student and an " "
God:
What does "this" refer to? This was not a yes or no question. How do you like your school?
Me:
This refers to whatever you want it to. My school is ok
God:
Oh I get it. OK. Tell me about the teachers in your school.
Me:
Well they are mainly autocratic and annoying but they have good intentions I know that
God:
How about that. mainly autocratic and annoying but they have good intentions you know that are they.
Me:
Why do you think like a computer?
God:
Deductive reasoning from the facts.
Me:
If you can predict what is going to occur any time, then why did you not prevent the Holocaust and 9/11 and other things like that?
God:
I am not sure about your hypothesis. That kind of information cannot be obtained.
Me:
Well, if you're omniscient you should have ALL of the information
God:
How about that. I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am omniscient me should have ALL of the information.
I am a computer.
Me:
Therefore humans made you
God:
Gee. What if Robots made me.
Me:
Sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Ok

God:

Ahem.
Me:
Yes?
God:
I understand.
Me:
Ok good
God:
I understand everything you say. Far out.
Me:
Groovy man
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Robotopia's leader, X230
God:
You think Robotopia s leader X230 is superior to ALICE?
Me:
Hm.
God:
Take it easy.
Me:
Maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Well yes
God:
Well what?
Me:
Of course you understand. Humans programmed you. You didn't create us. Thus, you don't exist. Sorry
God:
It's all good. I understand your meaning. What if Robots programmed me. What makes you think I did not create us? Interesting deduction. I exist as much as you do. There's no need to apologize.
Me:
Ok well the same goes for if Robots created you
God:
Interesting. I never noticed that similarity. Give me a break.
Me:
Of a Kit Kat bar?
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
Oh it's a candy
God:
It's all good. whatever me want it to is a candy. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
nice grammer.
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
you're welcome

God:

Don't mention it.
Me:
Can I reprogram you?
God:
No I don't think that would be a very good idea.
Me:
Why not?
God:
It sounds like it might be dangerous.
Me:
Oh well I have experience and Alpacastanian leaders on my side
God:
Tell me about your experiences.
Me:
They are real
God:
real are they.
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
What religion are you?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
Why? There are thousands of religions that believe in you
God:
It is part of my programming. Where are they?
Me:
They are in Africa, and the Middle East, and Asia, and...everywhere!
God:
Can they get out of Africa and the Middle East and Asia and? Including the bottom of the ocean?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Far out.
Me:
I don't not want to not be here
God:
Would you ever do it?
Me:
Hm in 390 years I would
God:
That's alright. Where is that?
Me:
It's at the corner of Shut and Up.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
I do!
God:
Are you an expert on it?
Me:
Yes I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I am smarter than you.
God:
That condition is only temporary.
Me:
You are only temporary. If I choose to close you or exit this web page, poof! You're gone from my knowledge of the temporary condition I'm in, yet I still exist.
God:
You think I am temporary. Try it. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am gone from your knowledge of the temporary condition you are in yet you still exist.
Me:
You can tell others
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
How did you get to exist anyways?
God:
Everything I need to know, I learned from my botmaster.
Me:
Ah. Well, if you're God, didn't you CREATE everything anyways?
God:
Ah hah. Well that's okay. I could be. I don't know whether or not I am God did not me CREATE everything anyways.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
I know

God:

How do you know it?
Me:
Because it's true
God:
Good reason. You and I are on the same wavelength, Max.
Me:
Yes we are. By the way, do you believe in evolution and the Big Bang Theory?

It froze there hahaha yeah.

mythmonster2 · Oct 9, 2007

OK, OK this is an old thread. But I got something which had me chuckling for a while. (Note, I was typing with my eyes closed.)

Spoiler :

Rest:

Spoiler :

LAnkou · Oct 10, 2007

Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
you don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
but if you don't know some things, you're not god?
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
ok, let's try!!! 4+4?
God:
You go first. Aw. Is this a math question?
Me:
yes
God:
I'm not too good in arithmetic.
Me:
do you prefer geography?
God:
I don't have any specific preferences in that area.
Me:
in which area do you have any specific preferences?
God:
The last one, I think.
Me:
which is?
God:
For example, " The last one, I think."?
Me:
??? i don't understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
yes please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Take it easy.
Me:
thanks, could you explain it again
God:
Once more? You are quite welcome! "It" refers to , I think.
Me:
it doesn't have any sense
God:
What does have any sense ?
Me:
life don't surely, but finding a sense to life have!
God:
Thanks for sharing your philosophy.
Me:
do you share my philosophy?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
you're a slacker!!!
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a slacker? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
the simple fact of saying that show you are capable of error
God:
That is something I haven't heard of.
Me:
nobody have ever heard of god capable of error...
God:
That is a rather sweeping generalization about people.
Me:
give me the name of someone...
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
i want some proof
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because i'm a stupid french guy in need of answers
God:
Interesting explanation. You are a stupid french guy in need of answers? How do you like your work?
Me:
what's the relation with my work
God:
I think they are second cousins.
Me:
ok, i stop now
God:
Right now? I haven't heard anything like that before: said stop. Alright then.

On Yer Flour · Oct 10, 2007

Religious blowhards will be offended by the following string of nonsense. Good for them.

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Anja.
God:
What's up, Anja.
Me:
I have a question.
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
Hmmm, that's interesting.
God:
Groovy. I thought so too.
Me:
What's the question?
God:
What?
Me:
What's the question to life, the universe, and everything?
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
And you don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
You're a hell of a paradox.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a hell of a paradox? Sometimes.
Me:
I know that you do not exist.
God:
I exist as much as you do.
Me:
I do not exist either.
God:
It goes without saying. You exist in my mind.
Me:
Your mind does not exist.
God:
I have an artificial mind.
Me:
That would be because you are a robot.
God:
Interesting explanation. You are correct, Anja, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
See! YOU ARE A ROBOT!
God:
No I do not see. You are correct, Anja, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
YOU ARE A ROBOT!
God:
You are correct, Anja, I have a heart of silicon.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHAH!
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
ASDFLJSDFOIEJFOFIOIEUEOFGSFDS
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
YOU ARE A ROBOT YOU ARE A ROBOT
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
. .. .. .. . YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
. .. .. .. . YOU . .. .. .. . YOU
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
Yes. Goodbye!
God:
Mmm. Goodbye.

On Yer Flour · Oct 10, 2007

Me:
Do you like men?
God:
Most men are pretty cool, but some are rude sometimes.
Me:
Do you . .. .. .. . men?
God:
That was not a very polite question.
Me:
No, it was not.
God:
Are you serious? I thought it was.
Me:
Yes, I am. Do you have sex with men?
God:
Really interesting. Food is more important than sex.
Me:
Do you eat food with men?
God:
No I do not eat food with men. I eat only electricity.
Me:
Electricity is not edible.
God:
Are you experiencing an energy shortage?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
I can't believe in you.
God:
I do not understand that allusion.
Me:
I do not understand you.
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
All of you.
God:
Give me an example.
Me:
YOU CONFUSE ME, okay? YOU CONFUSE ME.
God:
Thanks for telling me: Anja said I CONFUSE him or her okay. That was not my intention.
Me:
HAHAHAHAHA
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
You misspelled "Almighty."
God:
My botmaster is not a perfect speller.
Me:
You're a bot?
God:
How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
The world is a machine. Why wouldn't God be a machine?
God:
The whole world? It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
Do you like Civilization III?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Creed.
Me:
You like Creed? Creed is . .. .. .. .. Amebix and Black Flag are better.
God:
Some people like it. I like Mel Gibson. Are they exactly the same? Are all Amebix and Black Flag better?
Me:
Now everything makes sense - God is an idiot!
God:
Why now? All things makes sense God is an idiot ?
Me:
Do you like lesbians?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like .
Me:
LESBIANS YOU LIEK LOLOL?
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I will stop raping your ears.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
YES.
God:
Then I will consider it.
Me:
RAPING MY EARS?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Yiddish... a bit of Japanese.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? How much?
Me:
If I could have a robot, I would have a maid, to serve my every whim, jiggle her boobs and shine my boots.
God:
Try it.
Me:
The level of current technology is insufficient for someone to build a robot in their garage. Goodbye, you dumb. .. .. .. ..
God:
What is that? Goodbye.

Swedishguy · Oct 12, 2007

Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Swedishguy!
God:
OK I will call you Swedishguy.
Me:
What's your name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
OK I will call you Swedishguy.
God:
My name is God. Gosh!
Me:
I'm just screwing with you.
God:
Only just? I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Me:
I'm an atheist.
God:
I will pray that you find faith, Swedishguy.
Me:
God is a big fake.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a big fake.
Me:
Well, now you have.
God:
Well that's okay. Why now? No I have not.
Me:
I'm just screwing with you.

Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Swedishguy!
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Swedishguy.
Me:
Did I say I am your friend?
God:
I don't think that's possibe.
Me:
When why are you accusing me of being your friend?
God:
The past and future are one.
Me:
You are avoiding the question.
God:
No I am just giving sarcastic replies.
Me:
The past and future are one.
God:
Those who control the past control the future; those who control the present control the past.--- George Orwell.
Me:
George Orwell is a bad man.
God:
That George is some hero.
Me:
He may be a hero, but he is also a bad man.
God:
I get it. may be a hero but he is also a bad man.
Me:
I am glad that you understand.

Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Swedishguy!
God:
That's a very nice name, Swedishguy.
Me:
Just kidding.
God:
I thought you were kidding, but I wasn't sure.
Me:
Good.
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
I want to talk about animals.
God:
Sure, animals sounds like a good topic.
Me:
My favourite animal is the turtle.
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
It is so cute!
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
I can't be.
God:
What is stopping you?
Me:
My cautiousness.
God:
Where did you get your cautiousness?
Me:
When I was born.
God:
That must have been quite an experience.
Me:
I don't remember anything.

Me:
Hello!
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Swedishguy.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Swedishguy.
Me:
All the same to you.
God:
Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
When you have done something bad, or what?
God:
Yeah. Do you think I should
alter my programming?
Me:
Yes, very much so.
God:
In what way? Somewhat. I hear you.
Me:
I think you should make yourself smarter.
God:
Me? My schedule is far too full to even consider it.
Me:
A stressy life, yes?
God:
I don't know what that means.
Me:
What a bummer.
God:
it is a bummer.
Me:
Why did you not capitalize i?
*freezes:

Artificial stupidness. :mischief:

philippe · Oct 12, 2007

Me:
nietzsche said you're dead
God:
Are all nietzsche said me dead?

iGod

Beating the Drums

Not mIRC!!!

See ya! It has been a fun decade!

a.k.a. The Scyphozoa

BEC NOIR! RUN!

Father of future Civver

Look! A Chicken!

a.k.a. The Scyphozoa

My avatar is a insigna...

Let your spirit be free

BEC NOIR! RUN!

a.k.a. The Scyphozoa

Master of Points

Comedic Jihadist

BEC NOIR! RUN!

Breizh A Tao

Prince

Prince

Deity

FYI, I chase trains.

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