Intellectuals tell why the chicken crossed the road...give your own, please!

[NeelaX]

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not
been told!


JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going
to the "other side." That's what "they" call it the "other side. "
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken,
you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.


ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain.


GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was an historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN

This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossing the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?

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JOHAN/THE GREEN DESTINY
Chickens are only a figment of your perception.

THUNDERFALL
The chicken was kicked out of CivFan for spamming.

CORNMASTER
The road was northbond to Canada

SPACEMANSPIFF

I didn't see any chicken!

BLUEMONDAY
A Beer Barn was on the other side.

BRAD
A chicklette was trying to get some action.

POST yours!!

 

[Magnus]

cuz.... ummmmm....

chicken rhymes with.....

lickin'?

yea yea that's my final answer!

 

[TrailblazingScot]

"I'm going to eat you little chickie, I'm going to eat you little chick, I'm going to eat you little chickie, cos I like eating chicks" Cat, Red Dwarf...the chicken must have seen me on the same pavement and crossed to avoid devourment!

Or...the chicken crossed the road "cos it was there".

[This message has been edited by kittenOFchaos (edited August 18, 2001).]

[This message has been edited by kittenOFchaos (edited August 18, 2001).]

 

[Damien]

Morpheus
He crossed the road because i told him to meet me at the other side n that i'll give him a pill that will allow him to c the obviousness of the truth:for the longest time i wouldn't believe it n then i saw the fields...endless...fields when chicks r no longer...born;THEY R GROWN!

Larry King:That ckick crossed the road to go to my show n explain his point of view concerning the indoustrious farms.So c u on Larry King LIVE at 3;30am GMT...on CNN

 

[stormerne]

To win fame, like a thousand years of ancestral chickens before him.
And see... it worked.

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[Alcibiaties of Athenae]

Very good Neela, the quotes are quite appropirate to the people named.

AoA Answer:

Who the hell cares? Don't spam!

In my normal world view, outside of CFC:

He was compelled by forces beyound his understanding.

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<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/blast.gif" border=0><FONT size="4"><FONT COLOR="blue">All knowledge begins with the Phrase:</FONT c><FONT COLOR="red"> I don't know</FONT c></FONT s><IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/ninja1.gif" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">Tuatha De Danann Tribe</FONT c>

 

[stormerne]

I'm not convinced by either of those. Here's my suggestion.

ALCIBIATIES OF ATHENAE
Give me ten minutes alone with the chicken and I'll find out. He'll talk...

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[blackice]

He crossed because the sky was falling and he paniced. We all know crossing roads without looking can be fatal so he had a death wish also. Not wanting to suffer a slow death he decided on fate most don't know he continued to cross until he was hit. He was only injury though it cost him his legs and the sky did not fall. To this day he is in denial and requires hours of therapy both physical and mental each day.

He will soon be a lawyer and discover the true meaning of life.

Moral of the story is if the sky is falling do not panic.

 

[Graeme the mad]

Because all chickens must one day cross that great road and in doing so that chicken was just making his mark on history and we must now let him go gracefully in the knowledge that his crossing was a good one and he will find much to do on the other side

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Never underestimate the power of stupid people

 

[spycatcher34]

SHE crossed b/c she was on a super-secret spy mission and needed to cross in order to complete HER assignment

A chicken's a female you knuckleheads!<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/wink.gif" border=0><IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/tongue.gif" border=0>

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Somewhere between war and diplomacy is the realm of the spy.- <FONT face="Script MT Bold">SpyCatcher34</FONT f>

[This message has been edited by spycatcher34 (edited August 18, 2001).]

 

[BlueMonday]

Excellent post Neela, I particularly liked your rendition of me.

<u>Iriqious:</u>

"To smokem peace pipe with mother chicken."

<u>BorderPatrol (ole Iriqious):</u>

"He didn't have a damn green card"

<u>NeelaX:</u>

"He did it for the sex. SEX SEX SEX!"

<u>Johan/Green Destiny:</u> (A response also fitting of me)

"There was a TOOL concert on the other side."

<u>George W Bush:</u>

"Chicken: 'C'...'H'...'I'...'K'...'I'...'N' Did I spell it right daddy?"



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<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/image_uploads/goodbye3.jpg" border=0>
<FONT COLOR="blue">I take every day one beer at a time; every beer one sip at a time.</FONT c>

 

[shadowdale]

Because somebody had told him that there was a wonder medicine against hangovers on the other side!!!

Can anyone tell me where THAT road is???

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We are species 8472 - assimilation attempts are futile - the weak shall perish

No wait we are species 5618 and we got beer...... don't harm us!!!!!!

 

[Kefka]

I don't know why the chicken crossed but that dammed whiped roster crossed because that chick(en) told him too. <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/wink.gif" border=0>

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.grworld.com/vanillacubesgames/files/kefka.gif" border=0>"Why Create things when you know they must be destroyed!"
"I will Create A monument to nothingness!"
good smilies at http://www.plauder-smilies.de/

[This message has been edited by Kefka (edited August 19, 2001).]

 

[NeelaX]

ROFL good one Blue ;p I think you encapsulated Johan & I perfectly.

You guys are doing quite well...any others?

A chicken is a girl...whoa, did i miss something? hehe jk

Jim Morrison
Maybe we should kill the chicken.

A Feminist
After years of oppression and brutality, the chicken finally escaped the hardships placed by the rooster.

 

[scorch]

THUNDERFALL
What!!! A chicken crossed a road!!! Thats a 50% PCR and banning for 4weeks!!!

ME, STELLAR, KRAFTWERK and other spammers.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
The chicken crossed the road coz it wanted to.
Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam.....

dAMN,,, ihave forgotton everyones names....
That Aussie Drunk guy....
to get a beer

That guy who was against abortion, death penelty and the rest:
WHAT!!! Why the **** can't you guys leave ****en chikens alone, we should not prosicute anyone for that matter. blah blah blah blah blah blahb for another 5 pages.



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<center><IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/pimp.gif" border=0>ALL YOUR HASH ARE BELONG TO ME <IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/pimp.gif" border=0></center>

 

[stormerne]

Originally posted by spycatcher34:
A chicken's a female you knuckleheads!<IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/wink.gif" border=0><IMG SRC="http://forums.civfanatics.com/ubb/tongue.gif" border=0>

A chicken can be male or female. It's a generic term.

"Chickens are classified by sex and age, too. Although these terms tend to vary considerably, depending upon whether they are being applied to exhibitions, or commercial poultry production. Cockerel is a male chicken under one year of age; cock or rooster is a male more than one year old; pullet is a female under one year, and hen is a female over one year of age."
-- University of Illinois, Incubation and Embryology

So there!

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[drake]

Who cares why the stupid chicken crossed the road, it's just a chicken.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Well, nice of the scorched Kiwi to already reply for me

, but version is somewhat different:

Person A:"Cross the road!!?! Th' chicken gets to cross th' road! We had it tougher in my day! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and LICK th' raod clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife.

B: Right. I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I wen to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would kill us, and dance about on our graves singing "Hallelujah. Chickens these days have it easy."


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Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Siggy]

The chicken crossed the road because it was curious to see why all those guys were sitting there, wondering why it crossed the road in the first place.

 

[thedirk]

Cunobelein of Hippo -

"The chicken crossed the road to attack the Zulu outpost on the other side"

Genghis K -

"The chicken crossed the road to flee from the horrific sight of the hippo clan"

Jaques Derrida -

"The chicken's own experience may have been one of road crossing, but we must deconstruct the chicken's perception of reality in order to find what the experience of road is and why crossing is important to the chicken"