joke

[happy_Alex]

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."



The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

 

[Pentium]

I've heard a more evil version of this one

 

[Kejixu]

Ha ha ha ha, that's a really funny joke. You got anymore?

 

[CIVPhilzilla]

Good one!

 

[stormbind]

I've heard a more evil version of this one

Post the more evil one, please

 

[The Person]

Post the more evil one, please

Yes, do it, as this was just a more conservative version of the one I know. In my version the boy isn't as shy about this, so he brags to the pharmacist how horny his girlfriend is and how he plans to plug her in every hole as often as he can. That just makes the joke even better.

 

[FriendlyFire]

In one version the "pharmacist" had a massive knife out carving up a turkey.

EDIT: You can guess which part was being "carved" when the boyfiriend enters

 

[Pentium]

Yes, do it, as this was just a more conservative version of the one I know. In my version the boy isn't as shy about this, so he brags to the pharmacist how horny his girlfriend is and how he plans to plug her in every hole as often as he can. That just makes the joke even better.

I didn't mean this. It goes like that (bold text is mine):

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

The boy goes fo pharmacist and says he wants a condom. The pharmacist gives it to him and asks him if he wants something else. The boy replies: "Yes, give me one more, my girlfriend's sister is very hot too, and maybe something will happen." Pharmacist gives him the second condom and repeats his previus question. The boy says: "You know, their mother is very sexy too, and when her husband will be away, I might try something..." The pharmacist puts a 3-pack in the bag and gives it to the boy

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."




The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

 

[The Person]

Your version was even better, Pentium! Mixed with my version it would as good as perfect, don't you think?

 

[Dabomb18359]

Yea use Pentium's and the plug every hole, lol. That was good though.

 

[The Person]

I just wonder if he would have the energy to "plug every hole" of three girls/women in one go...

 

[barbu1977]

Mine is quite diferent but starts the same:
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a Single condom, 3-pack, 6 pack or 12 back.

The boy asks why there are so many kinks.

"Well aswers the phamacist. Single condom is for hi scholl kids: Once every saturday night.

3 pack is for College student that come home for the weekend. Once friday night, once Saturday night and once sunday afternoon.

6 pack is for college roomates. Thuesday, Wendnesday, Thursday, Friday Saturday and Sunday. Monday you take a break

Finaly, 12 packs is for married couples: January, February, March..."

 

[Kejixu]

Pretty good but check out this joke

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.

Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."

"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

 

[Pentium]

@The Person: Maybe he is a Hypernenergetic.

@barbu1977: I've heard a simmilar one, with underpants instead of condoms and different nationalities instead of students/married couples. Good still

@Kejixu: Good one!

 

[The Person]

@barbu1977
I have heard that before as well, but in my version it's the boy's father who tells him about the condoms.

And another condom-related joke: (Maybe I posted it before. In that case, I hope those who weren't here when I did like it.)

A man and a woman were getting married. The night before the wedding the man has at his parents-in-law to talk to his coming wife's father. He expected it to be the typical "stay true to your wife" stuff, but it wasn't. It was mostly to wish him good luck.

When his future wife's father left the room, her sister entered the room and came with a confession.
"I've always been madly in love with you," she said. "But now you're getting married to my sister tomorrow, and my dreams will never come true. So please let me make love to you this last night before it's you forever."

The man wondered about this, but went out to his car. In the garden his father-in-law-to-be was greeting him.
"You passed the test he," he said. "I was asking my youngest daughter to try to lure you to bed with you, but you resisted. You'll be a good husband for my oldest daughter."

And the morale is: Always leave the condoms in your car.

 

[LLXerxes]

I expect threads with jokes about sex and condoms to get closed.

Shall I start the countdown?

 

[YNCS]

So this cowboy is sitting in a bar and a woman sits down next to him. The woman asks "are you a cowboy?" The cowboy replies "well, I spend all day sitting on a horse, watching over cattle, and doing other wrangler-type things so I guess I am a cowboy. What are you?" The woman replies "I'm a lesbian. All day I think about making love to women. When I get up in the morning I think about making love to women, when I'm at work I think about making love to women, and when I go to sleep I dream about making love to women." Ten minutes later a man sits down on the cowboy's other side and asks "are you a cowboy?" The cowboy replies "up to ten minutes ago I thought I was."

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Silly cowboys

 

[happy_Alex]

@Kejixu: Good one! made me happier