Life, for dummies

[philippe]

uhm pellaken your KEE empire....its just been nuked and you are taken away to a place where you will be VERY happy.
come on pellaken you not gonna say you wasted 5 years of your miserable life to think of a imaginary empire?

 

[Globber]

for Pellaken:

[EDIT: note mods, this should be our official anti-spam message]

 

[Lovro]

Originally posted by Switch625
Post removed. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Speaking of teeth, don't have a tooth pulled if you are to spend the rest of the day outside.

 

[Graeme the mad]

Huhnnnnghhh waaaaaaa?????? - PEllaken???? NUH

You have a really good imagination

 

[Tammy]

Well, Pellaken, that was very interesting reading. I think I got most of the symbolism, and I like your conclusion. In fact, it was something I needed very much to be reminded of right now.

 

[Pellaken]

gobbler? I pur my heart out, and this is the treatment I get [waterworks=on] all I wanted to do was to talk about how my life was
I dident mean anyhting
*inaudable*
and then you go and do this
*inaudible*
and you hurt my feelings [/waterworks]
but its al cool

 

[roadwarrior]

If your professor just finished mixing hydrochloric acid in a big tall beaker don't go up to it, say "It looks like a BONG," lean over, and inhale deeply.

Wasn't me, but the sad individual who did such spent a few weeks in the hospital with severe acid burns in his lungs...

 

[RedWolf]

I've learned that if you're not carefull where "it's" aimed you might end up peeing on your foot.

 

[Toasty]

Uhm...hm...advice...uhm...

I guess I'm either smart enough not to make any serious mistakes, or boring enough not to take any risks .

Don't look anti-American by crossing out Bush's face with permanent marker in your conservative girlfriend's yearbook *OUCH!*.

 

[Arioch]

Never try to cross a busy road whilst listening to Portishead after 48 hours without sleep writing a 3000 word essay on 'gender in the Victorian novel'

Sound and useful advice I'm sure you'll all agree.

 

[gonzo_for_civ]

Here goes.

Don't try anything new on your salads, it will only piss you off.

Try new stuff on your french fries however!

DO NOT>>>I REPEAT>>>DO NOT>>>Under any circumstances listen to anything pellaken says. You will go insane and possibly implode.

Also, don't form fake governments in your head.

Imagination is more important than knowledge - Albert Einstein

Oh fine, scratch the part about fake govts, but not the pellaken part.

Don't vote for any president whos last name is a slang term for a girls ....... yeah....

Never talk to PH after 3 in the morning unless you honestly want to spit out your dinner from over laughing.

Don't let your puppies become dehydrated

Think outside of the box.



On a seperate note: It's too bad the love and lust system in your empire never had a real job to do pellaken

 

[Lt.Col. Kilgore]

Originally posted by gonzo_for_civ


Don't vote for any president whos last name is a slang term for a girls ....... yeah....

Thats too bad 'cos I rather liked Eisenhower.

 

[MuddyOne]

1) If cleaning automobile parts in gasoline, do not repeatedly wipe your hands on your shorts. It does soak through eventually and can cause a burning sensation on some sensitive skin in that area.

2) After spraying WD-40 on everything that looks like it might move in a garage, do not light a match.

3) Do not go walking through a field with a friend that is lighting matches and throwing them over his shoulder.

4) If you go walking though a field with a friend that is lighting matches and throwing them over his shoulder, make sure you have shoes on. Cockleburrs are hard to remove.

5) Don't snort salt, or at least make sure that more than one dollar is the bet.

6) If a girlfriend asks "What is a sex fantasy of yours?" Don't answer doing it with two girls.

 

[Flatlander Fox]

I guess AoA won't be along so I will say it:


You are insane.


But we all still love/like/hate/despise/loath you.

 

[Immortal]

Originally posted by MuddyOne
6) If a girlfriend asks "What is a sex fantasy of yours?" Don't answer doing it with two girls.

I learned that one the hard way

Here's a free piece of advice: When cutting a chicken in half, always point the cutters away from you with your thumb tucked IN! Not with it sticking out, stiches follow.

 

[starlifter]

Don't put dry ice in your mouth to make smoke.
Even if it looks cool, it can slip into your throat and freeze it with -70 degrees celsius.
I know

Is this where you User Name comes from IceBlaze?

I can add another one.... don't play a joke on your college Physics professor with dry ice... you grade can be dropped from an A to a C with the stroke of a pen!!

When firing belt fed machine guns, avoid shooting from the hip unless everyone around you is an enemy.....

 

[Switch625]

Never stick your arm into what you think is a container of water, but is really hydrochloric acid.

This didn't happen to me (thank God), but way back when I was in college taking art classes, the instructor used this as an example of what not to do. Our design class was working with stained glass, and one of the ways to put a design on glass is acid etching. So, to drill home the point of how dangerous this stuff is, he tells us the story of someone who was a friend of a person in an art class who dropped in on the class and saw a pretty piece of stained glass sitting in a hydrochloric acid bath. He thought it was water, and reached into the bath to pick up the glass to look at it. You can guess what happened next. It may or may not have been a true story, but it sure drove home the point.

 

[Lab Monkey]

Keep your wits about you when using industrial sanders. They are stronger than you are, and the scars are permanent.

 

[Rodgers]

NEVER call a girl you are attempting to sleep with by (what you imagine to be) her first name. There is no need and will only lead to years of imagining what could have been

ALWAYS check before zipping up trousers

REMOVE the shell from roast chestnuts before eating - they are NOT just "overdone"

NEVER attempt to beat a red light while still over 50yds from it

DO NOT throw stones at the window of a dangerous maniac's house (if he does not answer the door) on the assumption that it is in fact your friends place of residence

WHEN masturbating in a moving vehicle ensure no vehicles taller than your own are likely to overtake you (especially coaches)

WHEN masturbating on the top floor of a double-decker bus be aware of the possibility that someone may actually be in the first floor bedroom of any house you stop in front of

 

[knowltok2]

Don't piss in a toilet with bleach in it. It won't kill you or anything, but the chlorine gas will create quite a dilema, choke, or piss on the floor. If you are in such a situation, flush immediately.