Nation Jokes

Anyone heard about the Polish army? I recently read that they've bought 10, 000 septic tanks. As soon as they figure out how to use them they're going to invade Germany.

There's my lame joke to add in with the others :D
 
(These ones are not meant to be insulting or in any way politically correct, so don't bash on me because of them (although they are a bit tasteless (right word? I think not, but I didn't find the other :)) ))

-What's the difference between potatoes and belgium children?
-The potatoes are taken from the garden to the cellar, but the belgium children from the cellar to the garden.

-What does a Belgium do with a girl he just has f*cked with?
-He puts her back in the pram.

mfG mitsho
 
This is a Soviet joke...

Two friends, Yuri and Mikhail, are feeling rather weird. Yuri says that he will give Mikhail 5,000 roubles if he stands in Red Square, and at high noon, shouts at the top of his lungs, "Brezhniev is an idiot!" Mikhail figures that he'll get a couple weeks in jail for hooliganism, at which point he'll be able to enjoy the money. So, he does the deed. Of course, he is arrested by the KGB. The agent says, "20 years for you."
"But I thought the penalty for hooliganism was two weeks!"
"We're not arresting you for hooliganism, we're arresting you for revealing state secrets."
 
PresidentMarcos said:
This is a Soviet joke...

Two friends, Yuri and Mikhail, are feeling rather weird. Yuri says that he will give Mikhail 5,000 roubles if he stands in Red Square, and at high noon, shouts at the top of his lungs, "Brezhniev is an idiot!" Mikhail figures that he'll get a couple weeks in jail for hooliganism, at which point he'll be able to enjoy the money. So, he does the deed. Of course, he is arrested by the KGB. The agent says, "20 years for you."
"But I thought the penalty for hooliganism was two weeks!"
"We're not arresting you for hooliganism, we're arresting you for revealing state secrets."
Click to expand...

:rotfl: That's great!
 
A group of kindergarten children find a porcupine one day. The teacher asks them: "Who is that? There are a lot of songs, poems and films about him" - "So that's what you look like, Vladimir Ilyitsh!"
 
Not exactly a nation joke, but still...

It was on the eastern front under WWII. It was winter, and almost 40 degrees below zero. A Soviet soldier was asking his superior to attack.
"We should attack now," he said. "The germans are freezing their balls off."
"How do you know that they do that?" his superior asked him.
"They told us when we were over there to beg for chewing tobacco."
 
Egypt's just declared war on Israel and Israel 's just declared war on Egypt and italy's surrendered just incase.

France has just biult a new tank desgined for best performance in french warfare its got 5 reverse gears and fires a white flag if troubles in sight
 
Your French tank need a forward gear in case the enemy is attacking from behind. ;)
 
:help: , i can't stop loughing. I need a doctor. :rotfl:

Thats the best thread i've ever lurked on.

:clap: Thank you all and go on with these.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
France's reputation has moved from a warmongering bully to a surrenderer monkey in few decades. This is true and funny.

Here's a good soviet joke.

Three Soviet workers are breaking stones in a gulag in Siberia. During the work, they ask each other for which reason they've been arrested. The first one says : "I arrived too late at the factory, and I've been accused of lazyness". The second one says : "I arrived too soon at the factory, and I've been accused of spying". And finally, the last one says : "I arrived right on time at the factory, and I've been accused to have bought my watch in Switzerland."
 
scuba-diver-holding-regulat.gif


A Soviet Astronaught.
 
There are two commisars who supervise gulags in Siberia. One is named Boris, and one is named Yuri. When the winter comes, the two have their huts completely snowed over, and have a hard time getting out. One year, when the snow melted and Boris and Yuri emerged from their huts, Boris said, in perfect English, "Hello, Yuri, how are you?"

Yuri said: "How did you learn English in there?"
Boris said: "I got a radio. You can buy one at the store."
So Yuri went at the store, and said:
"I want to buy a radio."
Clerk: "We have an American model, best of all, 400 rubles."
"No, that is too expensive."
"We have an East German one, 200 rubles..."
"No."
"Czechslovak, 100 rubles."
"No."
"Russian, 50 rubles."
"I'll take it!"

The following spring, the snow melts, and Boris says the usual thing in Chinese. Yuri says...

"Kzzt...fzz...beep...kzz...as....bzzz....crackle....kzzfzzt..."
 
This'll appeal to you Canadians out there...

Stockwell Day.
 
Suppersalmon said:
Egypt's just declared war on Israel and Israel 's just declared war on Egypt and italy's surrendered just incase.

France has just biult a new tank desgined for best performance in french warfare its got 5 reverse gears and fires a white flag if troubles in sight
Click to expand...

What's worse than having Italy as an enemy? Having them as an ally.
 
How do you kill half of Mexico?
Throw a penny off a cliff

How do you kill the other half?
Tell them it's still down there. :lol:

I'm pretty sure someone's heard it before, but it's funny.

I've got more Mexican jokes, but I'm not sure how appropriate they are for this website...
 
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